Isn't that just a question that every new parent has to face? Do you believe in spanking or time out? Or do you have another fabulous technique you'd like to share? I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject! Join my discussion by clicking here: www.mybabydust.com!
No spank mommy here! My husband will sometimes. We bother were spanked as kids and I came out good and all but I have spanked before and just felt horrible afterwards. Yes it disciplines and works but its just not for me. I hate causing even a small amount of pain to my children. We do timeouts and take things away from them. It works for them (Thank goodness)15 minutes left to edit your comment.
When my son was fairly youn - within his first year - I smacked his hand over something he was doing. I felt horrible and vowed to never hit him again. I felt I had such an unfair advantage in being so big and he is so small and dependent on me. I never never imagined I would feel this way; I went into parenthood pro-spanking.
I will never spank. I do not condemn parents who do, but it is NOT for me or my child.
I was spanked as a child and it was invasive, humiliating, angering and made me feel powerless and unloved. It never 'taught' me anything other than to hide all of my 'negative' emotions, thoughts and actions because they would be punished. I was a very sensitive, curious child and if anyone had bothered explaining things to me or listening to me instead of getting angry and spanking any time I did anything they did not like I would likely be a happier person today.
Now, I still have issues expressing thoughts and feelings with others, I still feel betrayed. I still berate myself when I do something 'wrong' like accidentally tip my glass over. And it, (along with a lot of other messed up crap from my childhood) contributes to my general failure to maintain relationships and communicate with people, I still expect to be 'punished' for being upset and expressing it, so I keep the anger bottled up.
I am not going to do that to my child. Right now we use distraction, re-direction and 'positive time out' (which involves both of us taking a break and doing something different) because she is 1 year old. I plan to keep using positive discipline, rewarding good behavior and trying to get to the root of the issue. I will hear her voice and respect her opinion and explain things to her, I will never hit.
In Idaho it is legal to spank your child - discipline is seen as necessary. However, abuse is not tolerated! And, yes there is a difference.
I do not believe in spanking very much - only when all else is failing and then my kids seem to take me more seriously. They realize mommy is very upset and then I generally do not have to spank.
I do not believe a parent should use a belt, spoon or any other instrument to spank their child. I feel this way as I believe if you use an instrument you do not know how much pain you are inflicting and if you can't handle the pain on your hand you shouldn't be spanking your child that hard anyways. Using anything other than your hand is poor parenting to me. I mean, you had your kids and you should have to deal with all that comes with having them, including the slight redness on your hands from spanking your kids.
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Toxic Free Blog - by Brittany Glynn
Brittany is a director of the Toxic Free Foundation and created the first ever Toxic Free Certification Program. Weekly, Brittany publishes the Toxic Free Blog and provides coaching to over 10,000 families in the United States alone. She is the author of a Toxic Free educational series and co-author of several Toxic Free learning programs. Brittany is also an award winning author.