By the end of the day today my face looked like it was melting off so I decided that it was time to head to the mall to get a new type of foundation. So I head to the mall with the hubby and the little man in tow. Of course Nick abandoned me instantly to go to GNC where he could tell the little guy behind the counter yet again that their nutrition bars are WAY too expensive. Anyway... so me and Collin head to the Estee Lauder counter in Dillards. She matches my foundation shade as a squirmy two year old wiggles in my lap and then pretends to wipe the brush across Collin's cheek (without even freaking touching him) and he has an absolute MELT DOWN in the store. He starts screaming like she hit him.
You know those melt downs where you want to just calmly gather your things and walk away pretending like you have never seen that child your life. Yeah... that kind of melt down. Lovely. So I buy my $30 something dollar foundation ---eeekkkk--- Did I mention how cheap I am? Yes, cheap... totally cheap. I have worn Mary Kay cosmetics for years and paid a wholesale price. A total of seven fabulous dollars to make my face pretty for months. But, unfortunately I am going through this crazy weird skin thing and the Mary Kay just isn't doing what it use to. So I went and spent $30 something dollars on a bottle of foundation.
So all I have to say is Estee Lauder better make me one smoking hot mama in the morning. Moving on...
So I walk to GNC to find my husband as he is carting out boxes of whatever protein bars are on sale and I head over to New York & Company to buy some work clothes. I am going through the racks getting all my normal sizes and head on into the dressing room. Collin is sticking his head under doors checking out what all the other ladies are wearing ;) and then I finally see my husband outside of the store and am yelling for him to come in and get the little man. He does... didn't really help though because as soon as I closed the dressing room door a little face came under and well you know the rest.
So I put on my fabulous NYC --Petite--Bootcut--Size 2 dress pants and OMG they don't want to button. Are you kidding me? So I suck it in a bit and get the one button through the button hole and then take the little snaps and push them over the front to snap to the side and they seriously would not go. So then I though oh no big deal. I'll slap on some spanks and these babies will slide right on. Then I looked down and realized that I was wearing a spank. I AM WEARING A SPANK! Total panic mode sets in.
Why am I surprised? Did I seriously not see this coming? Things were fitting a little more snug, my shirts were a little tighter. In my absolute denial I was telling myself my boobs were getting bigger and what lady doesn't want bigger boobs. Guess those daily Mountain Dew's have finally caught up with me. Well actually it probably wouldn't be catching up with me if it was one daily Mountain Dew but we are talking about multiple Mountain Dew's... like alot. Not to mention the fact that like a week ago I asked my precious husband to run and get me a blueberry muffin and bring it back to me at work and he shows back up with two packs of chocolate covered shortbread cookies, two bags of Dove chocolate and a six pack of large blueberry muffins. Well the bags of Dove chocolates are long gone, so are the blueberry muffins and as far as the chocolate covered shortbread cookies go there is a half a pack left and that is only because I realized that package wasn't shortbread after all it was oatmeal. Who the heck eats chocolate covered oatmeal cookies? Thats just gross!
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