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Unpleasant Comments

Hey All - just wondering what you do about rude/mean/offensive comments. Do you get them? What sort? Do you answer/ignore/delete? I was a bit sheltered from this when I had my own blog, but since I started blogging for the local newspaper, I've had a few upsetting comments. I'd love to know others' experience with this - how you feel and what you do.

Thanks!

Peryl

http://blog.seattlepi.com/parentingadabsurdum/

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Deborah A Cruz-Beck on January 19, 2010 at 11:53pm

Peryl,
I am so sorry that you have had nasty comments. I did have them once and though it did irritate me, keep two things in mind 1) its a blog, you have your opinion and sometimes your readers are not the same 2) hey, at least they are reading:) The "nasty" comment that I received on my post "Breaking up is hard to do", well, I had to just say thank you to the reader. Thank you for reading!Kill 'em with kindness!
Debi

http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/

Permalink Reply by Frances Amper Sales on January 20, 2010 at 12:06am

Oh, the perils of sharing our lives! While I've been fortunate enough to get a lot of kind and fun comments on my blogs, sometimes I do get some nasty ones--anything from insulting my looks to calling me ignorant or saying I talk too much about myself (uh, it's MY blog). Can't say I'm unaffected; sometimes, it can really ruin my day!

I used to just allow the comments--freedom of speech, I thought. But after a while, I just delete them. It's my blog so I have a right to edit. As my grandmother used to say, "This is my house. You're welcome to visit but don't you make a mess in here!"

I hope you don't allow them to get at you so much. Deborah is right--at least that means you have readers! Small consolation, I know, but what's the use of writing if no one's reading, right? =D

Frances

Topaz Mommy

Permalink Reply by Peryl Manning on January 20, 2010 at 5:33am

Thanks Deborah and Frances! Deborah, I've checked out your blog and it's great, Frances - I'm heading over to yours. Yes, it's true I'd rather have readers than not! The nasty comments are the minority, but they do sting - my latest was on a post I in which I mentioned some kid-friendly places around Seattle where you could get a latte or even a beer, and someone replied that I obviously liked alcohol and caffeine more than I liked raising my kids. It's the uber judgmental ones that really irk me. Sigh. I'm torn between ignoring/deleting/and like you say Deborah, "killing them with kindness." Right now I've decided to ignore and let the more positive comments speak for themselves.

Thanks for your replies!

Peryl

Permalink Reply by jing lejano on January 22, 2010 at 11:45am

I cannot believe that someone would say that!

If it really bugs you so much, just delete it :)

Permalink Reply by Tamara Unexperienced on January 24, 2010 at 9:14pm

Thanks for joining the group and starting conversations! What a great question.

I can't say I have experienced this....yet. But I've seen lots of people talking about this topic on Twitter. Most usually just deleting the comment and possibly blocking the person's IP address. Otherwise, I've seen some moms who use that comment as a topic for another post (again, different situation since your blogging for a newspaper versus having this issue on a personal blog). That girl took the comment and created a post where she welcomed feedback from others. I thought it was ingenious!

Hope to see you around more and I will be checking out your blog!

Tamara
www.theunexperiencedmom.com

Permalink Reply by Peryl Manning on January 24, 2010 at 11:21pm

Thanks Tamara - I think using the comment as a basis for discussion is a great idea - I've actually written an article on how parents need to play nice on parenting blogs - because aren't we all trying to teach our kids about respect and fair play?? I'm planning to post it sometime soon. Thanks for the feedback, and I'm off to check out your blog right now too!

Peryl http://blog.seattlepi.com/parentingadabsurdum/

Permalink Reply by Frances Amper Sales on January 25, 2010 at 2:33am

Wow, that was truly uncalled for! I get that, too, from complete strangers, especially now that I'm pregnant . I was talking to some friends about how I needed to go to the dermatologist so that my pregnancy acne can be managed when some stranger who was obviously eavesdropping tapped me and said, "You're a mother now. You can't place your looks before your child." WTF!?! I was so shocked really.

Negativity, be gone! I hope you're having a nice day, Peryl =D

Permalink Reply by Peryl Manning on January 25, 2010 at 11:26am

Thanks Frances! I do tell myself that these are probably truely unhappy people - otherwise they wouldn't feel the need to spread their negativity around!

Peryl

Permalink Reply by Julie on January 28, 2010 at 6:41am

It is funny, I have found the most honest posts have receieved the most negative feedback. I haven't been blogging long but have already had some experience with this... it does hurt.

Julie
http://www.worksformehomemaking.wordpress.com

Permalink Reply by Peryl Manning on January 28, 2010 at 12:35pm

That's interesting - I think you might be right. If you want to see some crazy ones, check the comments on my second to last post here: http://blog.seattlepi.com/parentingadabsurdum/ - a lot of them are positive, or at least respectful, but there are some that are just out there... I'm off to check out your blog as well :).

Peryl

Permalink Reply by Julie on January 28, 2010 at 9:28pm

Wow, I looked at those comments. I see what you mean! You weren't even trying to be controversial or tell anyone else how to think! I guess some people just always want to pick a fight!

Hope you didn't get too upset by all of that. BTW, how does that registered/ unregistered thing work? I just commented on your old blog, that seemed easier (and less controversy there!)

Permalink Reply by Peryl Manning on January 28, 2010 at 10:40pm

Hey Julie - You don't need to register, you can skip that and choose to comment as unregistered (or anonymous) and leave your name or not as you choose. Most people don't register, but just comment as anonymous or unregistered. I did see the comment on my old blog, thank you! No, this time around I wasn't upset by the comments, because there were several positive/constructive comments that kept the whole thing balanced - and I think some people are just unhappy, and express that any chance they get. I'm learning not to take it personally! I look forward to you dropping by again, and am enjoying your blog too :).

Peryl