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Comment by connie riley on July 8, 2009 at 6:54am

My step daughter is just as mine as my other 2. The difference is she has made me a better mom in ways that I didn't think were possible.

Comment by Tess Moody on July 7, 2009 at 7:02pm

Our blended family has always caused conflicts. I try to accept my stepdaughter, but she makes it very difficult!

Comment by Kristen on July 7, 2009 at 6:19pm

Hey y'all!! I'm a mom of 4....I didn't technically birth the eldest one but he's still mine all the same. I hope to see some of y'all around!

Comment by Melissa on May 25, 2009 at 12:13pm

Carol... Thanks, I think that both my girls, bio or step girls, will be good kids. Being 6 years apart 2.5 & 8.5 are already at each others throats... just reminds me of my sister and I.

Comment by Carol Shwanda on May 23, 2009 at 2:09pm

Melissa,

The teenage years are hard with kids whether they are your biological kids or your step kids. My own two girls, 13 and 16, are a handful. My stepdaughter who is 11 is a dream. Very easy now. A few years ago, not so easy. I can't remember where I read it, but some great stepparenting advice I learned was exactly what I just wrote. If the your kids and step kids are fighting don't necessarily blame it on being the by-product of a blended family. Chances are if they were natural siblings, they'd be at each other's throats too. Still a problem, but not one you have to feel guilty about.

Comment by Melissa on May 22, 2009 at 9:14pm

Welcome to the groug Carol! That is some awesome advice. Sounds a lot like what Sweet Hubby and I went through, and now we are on the same page!! I love my step-daughter, and we will have our ups and downs as she gets into her teenage years... kinda scared of those years.

Comment by Carol Shwanda on May 22, 2009 at 2:31pm

Dear Crunchy (and everyone who reads this)
I am compiling a list of my own for a book I am writing about blended families. I would like to interview parents in blended families to get their experiences from the beginning (how they met their mate) , where they decided to live, how the kids are coping and all the other concerns, joys and pitfalls of living in a blended family. I will respect and protect everyone's privacy since I write my blog under a pseudonym, I certainly understand everyone's desire and need to protect their families. When I have my list ready, I will post it here and on my blog. Also, my daughter is doing the same thing through the perspective of a step child. Her blog, which should be up soon, is called stepkidstories. Stay tuned.
Cheers.

Comment by Crunchy Green Mom on May 22, 2009 at 12:55pm

Great advice Carol. We are making a list of "What concerns do we have?".... and things we need to keep in mind.

That list goes out to each other today and we will think on it until next Friday and see what we can figure out. It should be a good talk... I'm hoping!

Everything happens for a reason.. right?

Comment by Carol Shwanda on May 22, 2009 at 12:41pm

I have to say that I have figured it out as I went along. I used common sense most of the time, winged it some of the time and tried to be as optimistic as I could all of the time. I read a lot of books on the subject, but mostly relied on my own good judgement and the support of my wonderful husband. That is the first step in a successful family, whether it is blended or not. There were times when my husband and I fought and went for counseling, but we never gave up on each other or our commitment to making it work. Here are some of my tips: Make sure you and your mate get alone time. Try to see things through other's perspectives. Always remember you are the parent and need to lead by example.
Carol
www.shwanda.com

Comment by Crunchy Green Mom on May 22, 2009 at 9:17am

Hello everyone. I am a mom of six, and stepping into being a step mom of another son. Between us we will be a household of 7 children, 2 adults, and so far, one day and two doves.

This is all VERY brand new for me... and for him as well! Looking forward to the advice.

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