** I often wonder whether I live in a house with two kids or a house with two pigs.
** Driving past a lemonade stand without stopping makes me feel guilty.
** I may or may not be a sucker.
** Gravity can kiss my ass (especially since it's responsible for knocking it down in the first place).
** Parenting without a sense of humor is like driving a car without a steering wheel.
** Screw the…
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