** Shoveling snow by hand should be followed by a massage. And possibly a lobotomy.
** The past several days have been like tantric sex. Minus the sex part.
** If I ever need a good giggle, I turn to Taylor Swift and the goat.
** Trying to get into a pair of jeans after slathering with lotion is a really bad idea.
** Some people should just not drive in the snow. Or in any kind of weathe…
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