No sleep is not an option for me. My sense of security is back in tact since I think we are on the same page in trying to work things out. I lean over and kiss his lips. I say goodbye and don’t hear a response before I walk out the door….not knowing what is in store next.

I text Jason the next day apologizing for leaving and explaining how he knows that his loud snoring keeps me awake.

He doesn’t reply. I text him again later in the day, and he doesn’t respond to that text…

The next week passes rather quickly. In addition to the Pre-existing Conditional Insurance Plan, I decide to apply to Medicaid. Not sure if I’ll qualify, but it’s worth a try anyway. Since I’m still waiting on any insurance to take effect, I haven’t been to the doctor.

The first time it occurred I was at work and didn’t know what to think. I wasn’t sure what was happening, and it scared me. I was fine throughout the day. Then around 6 pm, it happens. As I’m walking around at work, I…

Sunday arrives. I still haven’t decided if I’m going to tell my family or not. I just don’t know what to say or how to say it. Well, let me be honest, my younger sister and my younger brother already know. So basically who’s left to tell are my older sister and older brother and my parents. My older brother won’t be there today, and my older sister is easy going and will probably be excited. She loves babies. My parents are my concern. I have no idea what reaction to expect from them. And…

I wake up the next day, and before I’m out of bed, BOOM it hits me just like that. Everything in my mind has changed. This isn’t just a good thing, it’s a great thing. It is a blessing. I want kids. So maybe it didn’t happen the way that I thought it would. It definitely didn’t happen the way I envisioned, but that doesn’t mean it’s anything but great. I say it again to myself It is a blessing!

My brother’s statement from last night plays again in my head, “If you think of it…