I am not the first person you have loved.
And you are not the first man I have smiled at with forever on my lips.
We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife.
We have both lived with flesh more scar tissue than skin.
What we have now came unannounced in the middle of the night, when we'd resigned ourselves to give up hoping love would ever come our way.
And I feel that's part of its miracle.
This is how we finish healing.
I will kiss you like forgiveness.
You will hold me like I'm hope.
Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book.
I will write lyrics about the blue in your eyes.
I will write novels to the scar on your chin.
I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe how it feels to have finally found you.
And I will not be afraid of your scars or rough edges.
I know there are times when it's still hard to let me see you, in all of your cracked perfection.
But you will always know, that whether it's the days you burn more brilliant than the sun, or the nights you collapse into my lap, your soul filled with a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful life I have ever seen.
I will love you when you are just a foggy morning.
And I will love you when you're a hurricane.
Be my rock, and I will be your inspiration.
Be my balance, and I will be your support.
Be my wild, and I will be your calm.
Be my anchor, and I will be your wings.
You're the story I always wanted to tell.
You said you were afraid to lose me, and then you faced your fear and left.
Oh no please.
It's all my fault.
My fault for assuming your protestations of love were more than just air.
My fault for thinking you cared.
Let me take another step back.
Give you more room to be a coward.
It's funny how I never doubted that you loved me, never until this moment.
And I took it for granted that loving me would make you brave. Because I thought you saw the courage it took for me to love you too.
Because what is it to me if you love me, or miss me, or need me... When you are doing nothing to be with me.
If you can't allow me to be the love of your life, then I will gladly be the loss of your life instead.
And on the day you find that you have everything, I hope you remember who loved you when you had nothing.