• Female
  • West Hartford, CT
  • United States
  • growing up guarro


I'll see your fourth pregnancy & raise you a move.

The week before I realized I couldn't possibly be pregnant (but was) the ball & chain started to look around for a new job.

The history there is: he's been with the same wonderful company forever. He has done well and in return for a career path in the right direction, we have been trekking all over the country.

We move. And we don't like the process. But we've liked loved our adventures. I haven't loved Cleveland. But I have loved some of the memories and stories we'll be able to tell. I'm glad it's part of our story, but happy to see what is next.

The deal when we moved here was: in 2-3 years the next step would focus on the Northeast. That was the same for St. Louis. We loved it there, hard. And in 18 months we were moved.

It has been hard here, and almost 3 years deep no movement. He's gone after movement, he's been approached for several opportunities - all of which are not on the east coast. So he started looking around... I mean? Why not... Cman is getting bigger, JJ is at a good age to make a transition and we are getting close to the middle school years for L. It's time...

So he started getting resumes out. The next week, this happened. And just when we thought our life was about to get crazy?


One of those resumes sent out in February turns into an interview, turns into another, turns into another - boom.

We are moving.

The resume to interview process? Was several months deep. The interview to offer to start date? Fast. Like way fast. Like so fast, it quite literally would only happen to us.

Time lapse

The week of February 23, 2015
For days I've been feeling off. Tired. I've been super stressed. A lot going on, so it all made sense. Then I got light headed a few times. Nauseous. My coffee didn't taste right. Crap. Now I'm getting sick. I haven't been sleeping lately, stress. A lot going on, so it all made sense. It's been hard to sleep, I've started to get tingly extremities. It's been so cold, record breaking cold - it must have to do with that.  You know, it kinda feels like when I got carpel tunnel when I was pregnant with JJ. But it's so cold, it can't be that.

Wednesday, February, 25th
Messaging with a friend, I just say it. I don't know where it came from.

Me: I know I am NOT preg. But I FEEL preg. Is that weird?
Her: Have you been nauseated?
Me: yes. in the mornings / late mornings. not first thing.
Her: since I know I'm not pregnant, I've been worried that I have some terrible tumor or cancer or something. I kinda want to get a CAT scan just to make me feel better. but I know that's nuts.
Me: you won't be surprised to hear -  my thought after... "wait, if I'm not preg - I'm probably going to die."
Her: isn't it terrible?
Me:  and I have this pregnancy test. ... still from Cman. Do they even LAST that long? and part of me - just wants to take the test. but then another part of me... wait for it... is like: eh, do I really want to WASTE this test? They are expensive. What if we actually try again? then I'm going to have to buy a new test box.  seriously. I have issues. It's literally calling me from the bathroom draw.  "jeeeeeeennnnnyyyyy just find out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what are you waiting for? you know you have to peeeeeeee!!!"

And somewhere between 12:35 and 12:45pm the world stops. I thought, taking the test would mean I would have some confirmation I was not in fact pregnant and could possibly be dying.

The line, it comes through.

The only logical next step? I need another test.

I figured, before I picked L up from school? I would shoot over to the store. My dad was visiting and could stay home with the baby. My plan is immediately foiled because he wants to come to the store. After a panic, I realized I would ask him to wait in the car with the kids. He was none the wiser and off to the store I went.

I'm going to stop here and say: pregnancy tests are freaking expensive. $25 for peace of mind, it must be the almost expired test!

I grab them. Pay for it and go. But not before taking the box out of the bag and shoving it in my coat. Because I can't go into the car with a hot pink box of pregnancy tests.

Lady behind the counter, "Giirrrll! I KNOW it!" 

I'm not quite sure what she knows. Does she know I have a 10 month old? That I was JUST pregnant? Does she know that the last pregnancy nearly killed me. Ok maybe that is some what dramatic. But when you are suddenly a mother of 4, you get to be dramatic.  Does she know we have 3 kids? This is 4? Does she know this is some Duggar shit? Does she know I've been talking about wanting 4 kids, but it was in theory. Not in for real life. Right? We weren't there yet.

I'll take the test.

And take the test I did. And you'll never guess what it said.

With my dad visiting, the kids awake and around, I wait. I have two sticks I peed on in my pocket for hours.  There is Criminal Minds episode somewhere in there. It would have been great to think of an adorable way to surprise the ball & chain with this news. But I also felt like the information in it of itself will be a surprise all it's own.

So once we got everyone to sleep, I threw the sticks on the bed.

"So, there's this." 

Thursday, February 26th
I called my doctor's office. Whispering about needing an appointment. When asked, "What's this about?" I whispered, even more quietly, "I think I'm pregnant." The natural response? Laugh out loud cackling, "You girls always call like you don't know how this happened!" I start to say, "Oh I know how I ... {she starts laughing again I think in response to my cleverness} got myself into this! I have 3 others!" To which she says, "Oh I see that! That's why I'm laughing now. You were just here for a post csection check in."

The next few weeks...
Pretty much living in secret we wander through the next few weeks. Some highlights...
  • Falling asleep at 8:15 on the regular. 
  • Coffee tastes like pure acid. I want it. But I don't. I have a conflicting battle with this every morning. 
  • One of my favorite pregnancy side effects (other than the baby) is my nails grow. And while I continue to have man hands, at least I have nails. And in true Wolverine transition form, the transformation has begun. 
  • One of my least favorite pregnancy side effects is how I turn into Teen Wolf in the way of unwanted random hair. I do not get a pregnancy glow. I get a 5 o'clock shadow and teen acne. 
  • We've been lobbing out preparation for the kids. "Wouldn't it be fun to have another baby???" "Look at how big Coal is getting? Don't you want another baby????" I asked L specifically, "What do you think - should we have another baby?" Her answer? "Don't you think it's crazy enough?"
  • I took all three kids to a restaurant, alone, by choice. And they were awesome. I was awesome. I can do this. 
  • I'm so tired. It's so loud here. Good god, there is always someone into something, asking me something. It's neeevver quiet. What the hell did we get into here? 
  • Many doctor appointments, a few sonograms and a visit with the genetics counselors and it turns out all looks good. Despite my continuous fears on a loop to the contrary. 
April 12, 2015
We told the kids. They are so happy. And we are so happy they are happy. And it's going to be insane. But it's going to be great. When it isn't not great.

The next few days & weeks
We've started to tell family & a few friends.  I'm not quite ready to go full fledged public yet. It just seems like a lot. Ideally I'd wait until closer to 20 weeks, I feel like that will feel better? I still don't feel great. But I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep all this to myself until then. Reactions have been interesting.  Though the most common reaction is disbelief. 
  • You are kidding. 
  • You are not serious. 
  • Are you crazy? 
  • If anyone can handle 4 kids, it's you guys. 
  • Whaaaaaaa??????
  • You are insane.
  • The minivan makes even more sense now. Thank The Lord.
  • I heard 4 is better than 3. 3 kids is the hardest. I read it on the Internet, it must be true. 
  • Congratulations. I guess??? 
I think most people are genuinely happy, but as much as I believe that - I do firmly believe there is some judgement by the few.  Misunderstanding or even some non-happiness. Like a sadness? Hard to pinpoint. They may never admit it, but I can feel it. And here's the best part? I don't actually give a crap.

And now you are caught up. 

Belated holiday wishes and continued traditions

When your last holiday card is epic, it's a hard act to follow. When you used to write regularly, and now barely every - it's hard to think of what to do next. 

But you can't very well give up now, can you? 

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g_unit it's not just a rapper

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growing up guarro
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Share a little something about yourself with other moms.
Just trying to figure it out all - 2.5 years deep it's all still new.
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Philosophy? I am who I am - and I should post more often - I have too much to say ... and perhaps should censor a little more. Hi Mom!
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May 2007

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At 5:07pm on June 23, 2013, Lea said…

Work At Home Mom, WAHM, Mom Blogger

I am stopping by to say "hello" :)
I haven't been here in a while.
I welcome your friendship :)

Lea @ Mother Baby Child & Weight Loss Help

At 11:39am on June 15, 2010, Cynthia ~ The Girlz Korner said…
Hi from The Girlz Korner in upstate New York. My blog offers light, witty articles on every topic imaginable and was created over a year ago. I truly designed my blog simply for the joy of sharing info. and never expected it to take off the way it has. I also never thought of adding a Followers section until now and because of all the awesome blogs listed here, I'd love to offer my readers the opportunity of connecting with you as well. So please ... come on over and see me some time. Have a great week.
At 9:51am on May 13, 2010, shelley k said…
welcome to the club! stop by and "holla" if you get the chance!
At 2:36pm on May 06, 2010, One Savvy Mom! gave g_unit a gift
Hi :-) Nice to Meet You! http://savvycouponmommy.blogspot.com New Reviews/Giveaways Post Daily
At 1:57pm on May 6, 2010, Jenny said…
Hi! Welcome to MBC! Feel free to stop by my blog or tweet me anytime! :)

At 1:00pm on May 6, 2010, Moriah Sunde said…
Welcome to MBC! I look forward to checking out your blog! If you're interested, come check mine out, too: http://josiahsnest.com

I am a new mom, and always love getting advice from mamas who have already gone through what I am currently experiencing. Would love to hear from you!

Have a lovely week! - Moriah
At 10:57am on May 6, 2010, Stacy said…
Welcome! I just stopped by your blog and really enjoyed it! You made me want to book a trip to Disney :)

At 9:58am on May 6, 2010, Memorable Children Books & Gifts said…
Hello and welcome to MBC. A great place to blog and meet new friends.
Have a great day.

Check out Memorable Children Books & Gifts on Facebook & become a Fan.
At 9:46am on May 6, 2010, Michelle said…
Hi, welcome to MBC. Cute blog! Check mine out when you get a chance!!

At 9:31am on May 6, 2010, Tia said…
Welcome to the club!!

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