** I'm not sure what scares me more -- Ebola or the thought of having to use the toilet in my kids' bathroom.
** The best hair days always happen when you have absolutely NOWHERE to go.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 17, 2014 at 3:34pm — No Comments
** I am totally addicted to selling crap on virtual garage sale sites.
** Finding a CLEAN gas station bathroom is like finding a unicorn.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 10, 2014 at 1:46pm — No Comments
Ok, yeah, I'll admit that my husband and I may have rock, paper, scissored our way through some of more undesirable aspects of parenting our twins. (I'm pretty sure we're not the only ones who do this either.) Because, sometimes, it just doesn't really make sense for BOTH of us to jump into a crappy situation. For…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 27, 2013 at 10:44am — No Comments
** Homework is making me wanna stick my head in the oven. On convection.
** My children are certainly not winning any awards for getting ready for bed quickly.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 8, 2013 at 2:56pm — No Comments
** I may or may not know something about the lack of Kit Kat's in our Halloween candy stash.
** Costumes should really be a part of every day.
** Complete strangers REALLY like to tell me the whole story of their lives, regardless of how horrifically TMI it might be.
** The "Mind Blowing Science Kit" is clearly an outside toy.…Continue
** It takes me three WEEKS to recover from three NIGHTS of going out.
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 18, 2013 at 10:52am — No Comments
** My kids think Santa can make ANYTHING, which means that I am totally and completely SCREWED.
** "Customer" and "service" are two words that, sadly, don't belong together anymore.
** Static electricity is a very unfortunate side effect of Winter.
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 16, 2012 at 4:55pm — No Comments
** The time change is making me think I'm late to everything. (O.k., so later than usual).
** My town has already put up its Christmas decorations. So we can now eat our Halloween candy under the mistletoe.
** After a thorough cleaning of my daughter's room, turns out there isn't a dead body in there after all.
** Hurricane Sandy gave a whole new meaning to the term “shit storm”.
** Governor Chris Christie was surely a bulldog in another life.
** You pretty much have to turn tricks to be able to afford all those Halloween treats.
** It’s hard to know whether to laugh or feel sorry for a dog trying to take a dump in a sheriff’s…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 5, 2012 at 10:57am — No Comments
** Inadvertently headbutting the door with your forehead is not the best way to open it.
** When a fart rips through your yoga class, you can't help but feel bad for the person who let it slip out.
** Glue guns and Google are two of the BEST inventions on the planet.
** My kids should have to pay labor costs for all the time I've…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 26, 2012 at 5:09pm — No Comments
** It's kind of disturbing to hear your nine year old sing about having someone blow his whistle. (Yeah, thanks, Flo Rida.)
** I'm beyond thankful I'm not married to a politician.
** Fun-size 3 Musketeers are downright dangerous.
** My ass is gonna beep when I back up if I don't amp up my workout routine again…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 19, 2012 at 7:28pm — No Comments
** There's no calling in sick when you're a mom.
** Antibiotics and my stomach are soooooo not BFF's.
** Kids are ten times louder when you tell them you have a headache.
** The dirty clothes…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 4, 2011 at 10:40am — No Comments
Once again one of my very favorite holidays has passed me by faster than I could say, "Boo!" Yes, Halloween has come and gone and left me with a massive candy overdose. I seriously don't think I'll be able to look at a Twix bar the same without puking ever again (at least not until next week anyway). The festive weekend was certainly chalked full of all kinds of fun while it lasted though.
It all started with our annual adults-only costume party, which…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 2, 2011 at 12:37pm — No Comments
** Just hearing the word "lice" makes my head itch.
** A freight train accompanied by a brass marching band would be quieter than my children.
** Halloween decorations make me happy.
** Sun-baked dog poop is anything but easy to scoop.
** People actually eat fried Kool-aid without being paid to do so. …Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 7, 2011 at 11:29am — No Comments
To some people, this necklace might look like something the Malibu Barbie serial killer would wear. But to MY group of friends? Well, this fine piece of craftsmanship is something to be treasured -- at least until you anonymously pass it along to the next unsuspecting girl.
It all started last year when it was used as a prop in a very creative…Continue