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All Blog Posts Tagged 'Humor' (47)

Boy that Santa sure does hold a grudge! - @sassypiehole | You've been warned! http://bit.ly/1983Yi5

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Santa and I have always had sort of a love-hate relationship. I love the fact that he brings me a delightful gift each year, I hate the fact that I'm the one doing all the work. Word to the wise; if you ever DO end up on his naughty list, that's when you need…
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Added by Lisa René LeClair on December 16, 2013 at 7:55am — No Comments

Gerard Butler showed up at my front door yesterday and THIS is what happened! - @sassypiehole | You've been warned! http://bit.ly/18YWjm4

I had this crazy dream last night where Gerard Butler showed up at my front door wearing nothing but a shit eatin' grin and a pair of rubber gloves. At first, I couldn't believe my eyes... But there he was, one of my numerous free…

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Added by Lisa René LeClair on December 13, 2013 at 6:30am — No Comments

OMG! OMG! I just had the best corn dog of my life. I can't wait to post a picture of it on Facebook!  ~ Everyone on Facebook - @sassypiehole | You've been warned! http://bit.ly/1fmFbpE

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Unless you're a food critic for the New York Times, I really don't give a shit what you had for lunch, and I especially don't need a picture of it to prove how good it might have been. And guess what? I already know what you look like; we've been friends since high school, so please stop posting those ridicules…
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Added by Lisa René LeClair on December 12, 2013 at 6:40am — No Comments

This is so stupid, you can't even call it a blog! - @sassypiehole | You've been warned! http://bit.ly/1iVZtex

Every year around this time, I get an email from my mother with a link to a video that she made forall to enjoy. It usually features her as the lead elf in a series of choreographed dance moves that joyfully bob and weave in perfect sync with the most obnoxious holiday music you've…

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Added by Lisa René LeClair on December 11, 2013 at 6:30am — No Comments

If the magazines can do it, why can't we? Photoshop THIS, Faux Weekly!

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When I was younger, I wanted to be a model. I even went so far as to attend one of those multi-tiered marketing programs that handed out hollow promises of fame and fortune for the low, low price of $500 a head shot. Like most women, I've had my share of ups and downs in the beauty…
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Added by Lisa René LeClair on December 4, 2013 at 7:14am — No Comments

Talk to the fist, 'cause the hand won't listen!

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The other day, when I asked my six-year-old to go brush her teeth, she told me to, talk to her fist! 



Every day is a new opportunity for her to wield her impetuous powers... And wield she does. From the time she calls room service to…

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Added by Lisa René LeClair on November 30, 2013 at 12:07am — 2 Comments

10 Things I Can't Do When I'm Pregnant

As I was pacing up and down the halls at work today, all of a sudden it hit me. I HAD to pee. Like now. And then once I made it to the bathroom, I thought, gosh, I can't wait until I can pee on my own schedule again. Which got me to thinking, what else will I be able to do again once the baby is born? Of course holding my baby and snuggling with my baby is on the list, but that's so cliche. Let's be serious now. So, in no particular order, I've come up with…

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Added by Sadie on March 27, 2013 at 10:51am — No Comments

Batter Up!

Love my boys. Love em to death and I will gladly make mud pies and participate in worm eating contests but I'm just not the sporty type of mom.

I love sports don't get me wrong. I'm one of the biggest Texas Longhorns football fans you'll ever meet (Hook em horns!) but I'm more of a spectator than anything else.

So when my baby bear begged me to go out and play baseball with him this afternoon, I reluctantly dragged myself up off the couch and out to the front yard to throw the…

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Added by Dysfunction Junction on February 18, 2013 at 11:21am — No Comments

A Shirt

Every day kids learn something new.



With toddlers its a constant stream

of new words.



Car.

Dog.

Shoe.

Milk.

No.

Yea.

Um.



Yuck.

Hat.

Eat.

Shirt.



Shirt. Simple enough. For you and me.





I say to him, "lets get your shirt on."



He says, "a shit

on."



I say, "put a shirt on."



He says, "aw shit."



I say,

"Honey, a shirt. To cover your tummy and protect it from the…

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Added by Sarah Baker on July 23, 2012 at 9:53pm — No Comments

Things I Can Do Without.

TUESDAY, MAY 15, 2012

Things Jen Can Do Without.



  • Olives.  All…
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Added by Jennifer L. Benson on May 15, 2012 at 10:27am — No Comments

The Dos & Don'ts of the Back To School Mommy

Hello my Darling Friend... I’m always so delighted when you stop by!  Let me fill your cup with a fresh blend of, ‘Mommys Who Should Freshen Up on their Back to School Manners!’…
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Added by Caffeinated OC Mommy on September 24, 2011 at 6:26pm — No Comments

Delete the Damn Evidence!

 

Why is it that men are so stupid?  Do they not understand that leaving incriminating text messages on their phones is not a good idea?  Did they not see what happened to Tiger Woods?  I’ve had a few tearful conversations recently with girls who’ve discovered more than they wanted to, all from a text check on the hubby’s phone. 
So men, not that I’m on your side or anything, but DELETE THE DAMN EVIDENCE!  Do not trust your wives to give you privacy.  We will read your…
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Added by Andrea Beard on August 24, 2011 at 11:42am — No Comments

Which Course Includes Nuggets?

When you have children the term “dinner party” usually means burgers and hot dogs on a grill served around 5:30pm.  So when my husband informed me on Sunday that we would be attending a “dinner party” with two other couples and their children I just assumed this would be the scenario.  Turns out I was quite wrong.
Our Chef for the evening was one of my husband’s close friends who is recently divorced.  He has two children of his own but this was his ex-wife’s night with the kids…
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Added by Andrea Beard on August 4, 2011 at 3:49pm — No Comments

Off Mom Betting

I think I’m going to start a new business. I’ll call it “Off Momma Betting (OMB)”. We can wager on all sorts of things. Which kids will wind up in jail, which ones will graduate, who’s going to wind up on Jersey Shore 2020. Short odds say little boy A will marry little girl B based on how hard she walloped him.
This is a brilliant idea. I’ll run it out of the PTA closet; we all secretly gossip there anyway. I mean seriously, when presented with 500 kids and 30 parents, there’s…
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Added by Kristen Tschida on June 9, 2011 at 6:21pm — No Comments

The Bottom Line

I wore a pink shirt to the gym the other day and one of my friends complimented me on it.

Me: "Oh, thanks. It's old an..." [READ MORE] http://footballwidow.blogspot.com/

Added by Catherine on May 5, 2011 at 10:59am — No Comments

Driving in Norway

http:// www.pressingforward.blog.com

Added by Kimberly Mengshoel on March 16, 2011 at 10:54am — No Comments

ValueTales by Spencer Johnson Book Trailer







The children’s books beloved by a generation of readers who are now parents are back (and better than ever) in A ValueTales Treasury! From the number 1 New York Times bestselling author Spencer Johnson, this is a collection of life stories based in values we can all believe in.

Learn more about this book here: http://bit.ly/9IjnQL and its author here:… Continue

Added by Sheila English on October 22, 2010 at 12:43am — No Comments

Tiger Beat

When I was a pimply, gauche teenager, I loved reading Tiger Beat. In those days, the faces gracing the cover and every page in between was Scott Baio, Shaun Cassidy and Leif Garrett…Oh My. I was convinced that if Shaun Cassidy

really had the chance to meet me, he would…

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Added by Lanita Moss on May 28, 2010 at 9:03am — No Comments

Mommy Slumber Party Stories #1

Some girlfriends and I had our annual Mommy Slumber Party at the Montage Hotel in Beverly Hills a couple of nights ago. We were having breakfast on the rooftop when we were “buzzed” by the HUGEST, 6-legged, green flying machine I’d ever seen. One friend screamed. Another bolted for cover under the hostess stand. A nearby wanna-be-C-list actor gave us the evil eye - just a bunch of “stupid mothers.”



The waiters and I chased the bug around trying to corner it. It landed on our table.… Continue

Added by Sarah Maizes on August 28, 2009 at 8:00pm — No Comments

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