All Blog Posts Tagged 'Humor' (40)

Batter Up!

Love my boys. Love em to death and I will gladly make mud pies and participate in worm eating contests but I'm just not the sporty type of mom.

I love sports don't get me wrong. I'm one of the biggest Texas Longhorns football fans you'll ever meet (Hook em horns!) but I'm more of a spectator than anything else.

So when my baby bear begged me to go out and play baseball with him this afternoon, I reluctantly dragged myself up off the couch and out to the front yard to throw the…

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Added by Dysfunction Junction on February 18, 2013 at 11:21am — No Comments

A Shirt

Every day kids learn something new.



With toddlers its a constant stream

of new words.



Car.

Dog.

Shoe.

Milk.

No.

Yea.

Um.



Yuck.

Hat.

Eat.

Shirt.



Shirt. Simple enough. For you and me.





I say to him, "lets get your shirt on."



He says, "a shit

on."



I say, "put a shirt on."



He says, "aw shit."



I say,

"Honey, a shirt. To cover your tummy and protect it from the…

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Added by Sarah Baker on July 23, 2012 at 9:53pm — No Comments

Things I Can Do Without.

TUESDAY, MAY 15, 2012

Things Jen Can Do Without.



  • Olives.  All…
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Added by Jennifer L. Benson on May 15, 2012 at 10:27am — No Comments

The Dos & Don'ts of the Back To School Mommy

Hello my Darling Friend... I’m always so delighted when you stop by!  Let me fill your cup with a fresh blend of, ‘Mommys Who Should Freshen Up on their Back to School Manners!’…
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Added by Caffeinated OC Mommy on September 24, 2011 at 6:26pm — No Comments

Delete the Damn Evidence!

 

Why is it that men are so stupid?  Do they not understand that leaving incriminating text messages on their phones is not a good idea?  Did they not see what happened to Tiger Woods?  I’ve had a few tearful conversations recently with girls who’ve discovered more than they wanted to, all from a text check on the hubby’s phone. 
So men, not that I’m on your side or anything, but DELETE THE DAMN EVIDENCE!  Do not trust your wives to give you privacy.  We will read your…
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Added by Andrea Beard on August 24, 2011 at 11:42am — No Comments

Which Course Includes Nuggets?

When you have children the term “dinner party” usually means burgers and hot dogs on a grill served around 5:30pm.  So when my husband informed me on Sunday that we would be attending a “dinner party” with two other couples and their children I just assumed this would be the scenario.  Turns out I was quite wrong.
Our Chef for the evening was one of my husband’s close friends who is recently divorced.  He has two children of his own but this was his ex-wife’s night with the kids…
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Added by Andrea Beard on August 4, 2011 at 3:49pm — No Comments

Off Mom Betting

I think I’m going to start a new business. I’ll call it “Off Momma Betting (OMB)”. We can wager on all sorts of things. Which kids will wind up in jail, which ones will graduate, who’s going to wind up on Jersey Shore 2020. Short odds say little boy A will marry little girl B based on how hard she walloped him.
This is a brilliant idea. I’ll run it out of the PTA closet; we all secretly gossip there anyway. I mean seriously, when presented with 500 kids and 30 parents, there’s…
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Added by Kristen Tschida on June 9, 2011 at 6:21pm — No Comments

The Bottom Line

I wore a pink shirt to the gym the other day and one of my friends complimented me on it.

Me: "Oh, thanks. It's old an..." [READ MORE] http://footballwidow.blogspot.com/

Added by Catherine on May 5, 2011 at 10:59am — No Comments

Driving in Norway

http:// www.pressingforward.blog.com

Added by Kimberly Mengshoel on March 16, 2011 at 10:54am — No Comments

ValueTales by Spencer Johnson Book Trailer







The children’s books beloved by a generation of readers who are now parents are back (and better than ever) in A ValueTales Treasury! From the number 1 New York Times bestselling author Spencer Johnson, this is a collection of life stories based in values we can all believe in.

Learn more about this book here: http://bit.ly/9IjnQL and its author here:… Continue

Added by Sheila English on October 22, 2010 at 12:43am — No Comments

Tiger Beat

When I was a pimply, gauche teenager, I loved reading Tiger Beat. In those days, the faces gracing the cover and every page in between was Scott Baio, Shaun Cassidy and Leif Garrett…Oh My. I was convinced that if Shaun Cassidy

really had the chance to meet me, he would…

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Added by Lanita Moss on May 28, 2010 at 9:03am — No Comments

Mommy Slumber Party Stories #1

Some girlfriends and I had our annual Mommy Slumber Party at the Montage Hotel in Beverly Hills a couple of nights ago. We were having breakfast on the rooftop when we were “buzzed” by the HUGEST, 6-legged, green flying machine I’d ever seen. One friend screamed. Another bolted for cover under the hostess stand. A nearby wanna-be-C-list actor gave us the evil eye - just a bunch of “stupid mothers.”



The waiters and I chased the bug around trying to corner it. It landed on our table.… Continue

Added by Sarah Maizes on August 28, 2009 at 8:00pm — No Comments

From Poop to Penis

Can someone please explain to me why boys are so obsessed with potty humor? I mean literally if I have to hear one more fart jingle I just might loose my mind. Yesterday I went to the bathroom (yes girls poop too) and found myself singing: Beans, beans, good for your heart – the more you eat the more you fart! Somebody please help me get that garbage out of my head!



I know this is probably not news to most of you, but boys find humor in the most repulsive things. It is hard being the… Continue

Added by Jackie Bullard on August 4, 2009 at 9:42am — No Comments

Momma Needs A Whiskey Barrel

Brady and I took the kids to Dallas a few days ago for a “mini” vacation and to watch the Rangers play some baseball. Along the way we stopped in Fort Worth so Brady could visit with a client. Of course, taking the kids in for the client meeting was completely out of the question, so the boys and I were politely dropped off at a local “old west” museum. We actually had a great time browsing the museum – way more fun than waiting in some stuffy old office for dad to finish up with his… Continue

Added by Jackie Bullard on August 4, 2009 at 9:35am — No Comments

I Do? Yes, I Did

I have a wedding anniversary coming up and if you asked me how long I've been married I couldn't tell you. It's not that I don't care, I just don't remember. It's a numbers thing with me. Can't add, subtract or recall them in any way, shape, or form. I admit that I am numerically challenged. I rode the "special" bus with the other mathematically dim children when I was in elementary school.



I was married in a beautiful Pacific Heights mansion overlooking the San Francisco Bay. My… Continue

Added by A on June 5, 2009 at 4:55pm — No Comments

Blogging Through the Ages

I've done my fair share of research on blogging, but I've never thought that it dates as far back or as early as the 17th or 18th century. Read more from justkeepingtabs.blogspot.com...

Added by Dee Chengco on December 20, 2008 at 10:30pm — No Comments

Give'Em the Boob

No, I'm not talking Janet-style (Miss Jackson if you're nasty) although she may have been on to something. I'm talking about how much simpler life would be if we could just nurse our babies through high school. I was reminiscing with one of my close girlfriends today about breast feeding our sweet babies and how they're growing up too quickly. It was so much easier to "parent" my girls when I was nursing them. If they fell down and got a boo-boo, couldn't sleep, were having a bad day, got a… Continue

Added by Pink and Green Mama on October 25, 2008 at 9:48pm — 2 Comments

The not so nice Mama

“Go and play your video game,” says Nice Mama to her sons. “I’m going to clean your room for you today.”



“Oh cool! Thanks,” says one son, giving mama a hug, “You’re a nice Mama.”



What he doesn’t realize is that Nice Mama, is really, Mama with Ulterior Motive, in disguise. She smiles as she sends them on their merry way, 13 gallon trash bag clenched in the fist behind her back. She walks backwards down the hall, into their bedroom and bolts the… Continue

Added by Summer on July 10, 2008 at 8:48pm — No Comments

Mommy Brain

The Joint National Committee on Prevention, Detection, Evaluation, and Treatment of Mommy Brain announced its latest guidelines just yesterday, stating that “Not all Mommy Brain, is the same.”



This is only the first of hopefully many steps that will be taken to help treat Mommy Brain, which was officially diagnosed last Monday. But mothers have felt the symptoms and their families have experienced the effects of Mommy Brain for centuries.



“I knew something was different… Continue

Added by Summer on July 10, 2008 at 8:46pm — No Comments

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