** Those sneaky Mayans were totally effing with us all along.  I knew it!!!!

** December is one giant money suck.

** Our Elf on the Shelf would be a lot more welcome here if he wrapped presents and actually did "elf" shit.

** Taking a shower lately is definitely a luxury.

** Living next to a house being torn…

** 'Tis the season to be an asshole.  Apparently.

** I am not the Energizer Bunny.

** The Elf on the Shelf might very well be my nemesis.

** Anything that's lost is very likely at the bottom of my son's backpack.

** I should really write a country song cause I've got the homework blues.

** Leaving your…

If I could take myself into a dark alley and kick my own ass, I totally would cause I seriously dropped the parenting ball the other night (once again).  Yes, I completely failed my duty as the Tooth Fairy, y'all.  Now I know that plenty of people have said that they, too, have forgotten a tooth here and there, but I swore that I would never…

check out the new flyer!

THRIVE food can be used for so many different things. So why not for homemade fast and easy baby food! Thrive freeze dried foods have no preservatives, no addictive and no GMO's. So it is very good for your baby and so easy to make. Not only is it wonderful for making your own homemade baby food but even for the kids to snack on. Some apple chips mixed with…

** Skid marks can suck it.

** If you can drive five REALLY loud eight-year-old girls without wrecking the car, you can do just about anything.

** I think I'm gonna make it easier on myself and just give everyone access to my bank account this Christmas.

** Stupidity is what makes the world go round (or at least it seems…

WARNING: ** Look away if you don't like an occasional f-bomb every now and then.  Cause in this case?  It just couldn't be helped.  (Sorry, Mom and Dad....) **

Every year our "Elf on the Shelf" tradition brings me a combination of both…

** Every time I try to be the early bird, my kids have already beaten me to the damn worm.

** The apple doesn't fall far from the tree since my son evidently also writes "notes to self".

** I'm a little obsessed with Thymes Frasier Fir line for the holidays.

**After living with a…