When I sleep I wind myself into the tightest, most contorted, duvet encased mess of dislocated limbs and torn out hair that each morning I am forced to spend forty five minutes digging about in the covers in order to track down my left foot, right thumb or septum - which will, inevitably, amid all my stressed out night time writhing, have worked its way inside the duvet cover and nestled itself near someone's bum, so, upon clipping it back to my face and rushing out to work, means that…

Once upon a time there was a Mummy, a Daddy, and a 14 month old little girl with a budding vocabulary and stubborn streak that started out cute but is becoming a bit of a nuisance.

One afternoon this Mummy and Daddy sat playing with their very focused little girl. They began by having a make believe tea party together, which the little girl liked to do very much. Everybody poured pretend tea and ate pretend cake and chatted with the other invited guests who included a teddy, a single…

Nothing says 'Welcome To Our Home' like a vomit spattered front door step.

www.myfunnymummy.org

Within it sat photos of Boo looking cute (tell me something I don't know), documents about activities planned for her (yeah, yeah, yeah), post-it notes observing The Poop at play (big wow) and work samples (yadda, yadda, yadda).

Where are the assessments?

Where do I find out that she is a genius? A prodigy? An infant mastermind? A veritable whizz kid? A shiningly gifted example of intellectual brilliance, destined only for glory, excellence and superiority?…

Within it sat photos of Boo looking cute (tell me something I don't know), documents about activities planned for her (yeah, yeah, yeah), post-it notes observing The Poop at play (big wow) and work samples (yadda, yadda, yadda).

Where are the assessments?

Where do I find out that she is a genius? A prodigy? An infant mastermind? A veritable whizz kid? A shiningly gifted example of intellectual brilliance, destined only for glory, excellence and superiority?…

My insatiable penchant for quality children's footwear knows no bounds. It cares not for pay day, savings or our desire to eat for the rest of the month. It just presses ahead, snatching at the nearest available overdraft, credit card or property re-mortgage in order to purchase every perfectly fitting 3.5G mule in the land. I am utterly powerless to control it. And if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

www.myfunnymummy.org…

Many parents work very hard to decorate a nursery for their baby; however, most parents will tell you that their child didn’t sleep in his or her own room for the first few weeks.  During those first few weeks most parents choose to keep the baby in their room so that they can easily check on them during the middle of the night.  Read the full story at: Uplifting Families…

Bathing an infant isn’t an easy task and can be an overwhelming experience.  Once a baby is wet and then you add soap to the equation, an infant becomes very slippery and are hard to hang on to.  Luckily, when you baby is smaller they don’t have to be bathed every day.  In fact, your baby probably won’t like bath time until they are a bit older.  Keep in mind that even though your tiny newborn can’t splash you, be prepared to get wet.  Read more: …

Not in our house. Because in our house, we don't celebrate the little triumphs. There are no pats on the back or celebratory high fives. In our house, success is an opportunity to bully. To tease. To tempt. To harass, badger, provoke, goad, bait and bother. Achievement sign posts the opportunity to immediately focus on the next thing I can't do. Because now I can walk; I have to walk further. I have to manage one more step than last time; one more stride than before; one more pace…

OK so I finally gave in a bought some of these boogies wipes for children for runny noses and such, especially good when they have a cold. I have heard good things about them and since I have so much trouble getting my toddler to wipe and or blow her nose I thought i would give them a try. Well i got to say I love them. My daughter hates when her nose…

A single glove in the road - easily explained. A pair of shoes - sure, there could be reasons.
But a solitary brogue? On a dual carriage-way? Or, on occasion, on A MOTORWAY?
Nah. I don't get it.
www.myfunnymummy.org x

My daughter sent me a text message on her way home from school, don’t worry she isn’t texting and driving, and said “guess what”.  As a parent, I was thinking the worst.  She said she was given a “baby doll”.  I automatically knew that she was given a “real baby” simulator to take care of for a few days.  Read more at: Uplifting Families…

Trimming a tiny baby’s finger nails is the hardest thing that you will have to do as a parent.  I know that I personally hated trimming my baby’s finger nails but it was something that I had to do so that my baby wouldn’t scratch their face all up.  Their nails are soft and very thin.  Also, with a squirmy baby it make it hard to trim as well.  It doesn’t get any easier as your baby gets older either, they learn to fight back by pulling their hand or toes away and can wiggle so much…

Last Monday we turned up, berets, palettes and hard faces at the ready, and managed to shove our way through the vision-less, cack handed, toddling bunch of artistic dead beats milling around the nursery door.
Full post www.myfunnymummy.org x

On this holiday, I always knew the time. It was lunch time, or suncream time or flick sand in my face time. It was supper time or bath time or drink a mouthful of sea water time. It was be sick on your new holiday dress time or eat shells time or learn not only to walk but ACTUALLY RUN while on the edge of a cliff time.

Only when I got home and discovered it had been national 'Give Your Mum A Heart Attack Week' did everything fall into place. The week I booked a…

Sand is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. But you know this. In fact, so all consuming is my fascination with this sedimentary sensation, Mum and Dad threw me on a cramped, stuffy, budget airline flight for four and a half hours to indulge my gritty interest further. And while their purse strings didn't stretch to transport suitable for those in possession of limbs, their valiant endeavours resulted in me spending a whole week on a 'beach'.…

I received the Baby Bullet as a gift! I do believe that the product is worth the money but if you have a blender or a food processor then you can read the following information about How To and make your own baby food. You will want to purchase some freezable containers for the food that you can find at Babies R Us. These will have a measure on them so that you can make the right portion amounts ahead of time and always have fresh baby food on…

What an amazing weekend we had here!

Saturday was a little rainy but that didn’t stop us from going out and running some errands. Since it’s been so chilly around here we wanted to get Emmett some warmer clothes and possibly a jacket. He has plenty of long sleeve shirts but no real sweatshirts and of course being a first time mama, I wanted to find some warm cozy fleeces for him. So the husband and I headed to Carter’s first. We found loads of warm clothes and spent way too much…

This cool autumn weather has had me craving hearty soups and stews lately-you name the soup or stew and I've been craving it (or is it a pregnancy thing?!).  To prove that fact, in the last 4 days I've made chicken soup, pesto broccoli minestrone (recipe to come!) and this hearty one-pot wonder.

This is a variation of one of my staple recipes, "Indian-Spiced…

My musical tastes are fairly eclectic.

In the right mood, I can enjoy Frank Sinatra, Green Day, Aqua. I know certain Disney soundtracks off by heart (the cool ones, not just The Little Mermaid) and I am more than happy for my Micra to screech onto Morrisons car park with Joe Dolce blaring. Gilbert O'Sullivan, Spice Girls, Queen, Dizzee Rascal, June Carter Cash, T'Pau; if it's one of those days, they're all fair game.

Yet never, ever, have I felt the urge to belt out the theme tune…