** Projectile t.v. = yes!  Projectile vomit = not so much.

** I'd pretty much give my left arm for a nap.…

** Not realizing your sports bra is too small until halfway into your run is nothing short of sucky.

** It took me way too 'cussing' long to appreciate the awesomeness of "The Fantastic Mr.Fox."

** Kids are a zillion times better at handling stress than adults are.

** I need to start carrying around a ladle to…

** Your cabin fever's reached Code Red when you're jealous of the squirrels outside breathing in all that fresh, freezing cold air.

** Trying to work a crossword puzzle when you're tired just makes you feel stupid.  And tired.

** I've washed my hands so many times over the past few days that I may no longer have fingerprints.

**…

** I totally know how Jack Torrance felt.  Cabin fever can suck it.

** Only 25% of the pee in this house actually makes it into the bowl (and that 25% belongs to ME!)

** My referee whistle needs to be a helluva lot louder.

**…

You see these little germy bastards right here?

These little bastards have totally invaded my home over the past couple of weeks.  First it was my husband, then my…