** Projectile t.v. = yes! Projectile vomit = not so much.
** I'd pretty much give my left arm for a nap.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 11, 2013 at 3:36pm — No Comments
** The time change is making me think I'm late to everything. (O.k., so later than usual).
** My town has already put up its Christmas decorations. So we can now eat our Halloween candy under the mistletoe.
** After a thorough cleaning of my daughter's room, turns out there isn't a dead body in there after all.
** As predicted, back-to-school has totally kicked my ass up and down and all around.
** Always trust your gut. Unless it's telling you to eat a dozen donuts.
** My daughter's wreck of a room looks like a junk store had the stomach flu.
** Goatdog is evidently a HUGE fan of the food in the pantry.
** If I had…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 5, 2012 at 12:20pm — No Comments
** Octomom doing porn is the same as an old man doing naked jumping jacks — NOBODYwants to see that shit!!!!!
** Hearing your kids tell you that you’re beautiful is one of the greatest perks of parenting.
** Morgan Freeman…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 22, 2012 at 2:41pm — No Comments
** If I ever turn up missing, a vineyard in Sonoma is most likely where you'll find me.
** My daughter thinks I was born in 1818. Seriously, she asked if that was my birth year. WTF?!
** Entirely too many people think they have the right of way.
** Elementary School Open House could also be referred to as Nuts on a Stick. …Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 24, 2012 at 8:09pm — No Comments
** These people are driving me nuts. And by people, I mean my family.
** Holiday shoppers are complete assholes.
** My to-do list is evidently not gonna write itself.
** It's also not going to do itself either.
** Cleaning is clearly a complete waste of my time.
** There's something pretty freaking…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 23, 2011 at 1:24pm — No Comments