** Trying to get my kids to organize their rooms is like trying to get a dog to scoop his own poop.
** I wish somebody would jump to make me dinner whenever I say I'm hungry.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 6, 2013 at 12:16pm —
I love to pass down to my daughter things that I used to have when I was a little girl. It's like I'm sharing a tiny piece of my history with her. For example, she has my old baby ring that she wears on a necklace, as well as some of my old baby clothes that she uses to dress up her stuffed animals. And recently, she hit the ultimate jackpot when my mom came across my old Raggedy Ann doll up in the attic. She was so excited to have… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 23, 2013 at 4:25pm —
In my house, the poop and the fan need no introduction. They are quite familiar with each other, especially when my husband is out of town. Because that's precisely the time that things tend to go very wrong. And usually, it's right at bedtime -- you know, when I've had just about all the fun I can take for one… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 3, 2013 at 10:31am —
** It's too bad "Dexter" didn't have an alternative ending to make up for the super sucky one they showed us last Sunday night.
** I keep waving the white flag, but… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 27, 2013 at 3:31pm —
** Apparently, hormones, cramps, and child birth weren't enough, so we have night sweats to add to all the fun.
** Goatdog likes Mammaw so much that he wants to eat her.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 6, 2013 at 6:03pm —
** School REALLY needs to start. Cause my patience has left the building.
** The smell of an amusement park is a compilation of B.O., grease, and ass.
** I'm not… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 24, 2013 at 11:44am —
** I'm not sure why people are so surprised that a guy named "Weiner" likes to show off his junk.
** Goatdog drinks water like he's bobbing for apples.
** A good… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 26, 2013 at 5:11pm —
** Hormones can bite me.
** The world needs a lot less know-it-all's and a lot more chill pills.
** Sometimes it's just easier to pretend like my… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 28, 2013 at 9:20pm —
** The revolving door of kids, dirt, and craziness must mean it's FINALLY Summer.
** Moms should get a cut of all lemonade stand profits.
** And somebody totally… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 14, 2013 at 7:06pm —
It's amazing to me how Goatdog and I can have such differing opinions of the UPS man. We're talking complete opposite ends of the spectrum, people. I just so happen to LOVE a visit from the man in brown. I mean, he brings me wine and shoes and sassy new dresses -- what girl wouldn't love that??! Goatdog,…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 6, 2013 at 11:43pm —
Goatdog continues to amaze me with the ridiculously crazy things he chooses to eat. Lately, he's munched on everything from aluminum foil to snotty Kleenex's. The more… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 25, 2013 at 1:48pm —
** The longer you watch t.v. at night, the stupider the commercials get.
** North Korea needs a giant chill pill.
** I seriously hate… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 12, 2013 at 2:35pm —
EVERYBODY NEEDS A CO-PILOT.
(Even if he DOES steal your socks and bite… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 28, 2013 at 2:32pm —
** If it's not written down, it most definitely WILL be forgotten.
** Every day should be Pajama Day.
** Apparently no Super Bowl ads are gonna be new when the Super Bowl actually airs. WTF?!
** Contrary to popular opinion, stupid is not sexy.
** The ass crack of dawn is something I don't very much care to… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 1, 2013 at 3:04pm —
** The lighting in fitting rooms is nothing short of cruel.
** My toes are sooooo ready for flip flops.
** A clean car is pretty awesome (even if only for five short minutes).
** I probably owe the car wash an apology note.
** The appetites of my children dramatically increase the moment school lets… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 18, 2013 at 4:11pm —
** All I want for Christmas is a personal chef. And a bigger bank account to pay for the personal chef.
** Those inflatable lawn Santas look so sad and hungover during the daytime.
** A sick kid at home makes for an incredibly unproductive week.
** I've eaten so many damn holiday cookies that you should probably start calling me… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 15, 2012 at 4:00pm —
You likely know by now that Goatdog is generally a giant thorn in my side and that I often contemplate turning him into the main course for our Thanksgiving dinner. That being said, though, he has somehow managed to worm his wicked way into our hearts with all of his quirky little… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 15, 2012 at 4:14pm —
When it comes to smashed grapes, I tend to be more of a white wine lover. But every now and then, I do love to sip some red. However, this past weekend proved to me why I should probably save it for very special occasions (like when the floor is lined with plastic).
So it was a chilly Friday evening, and my hubby and I decided to open up a…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 5, 2012 at 11:02am —
** Hurricane Sandy gave a whole new meaning to the term “shit storm”.
** Governor Chris Christie was surely a bulldog in another life.
** You pretty much have to turn tricks to be able to afford all those Halloween treats.
** It’s hard to know whether to laugh or feel sorry for a dog trying to take a dump in a sheriff’s… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 5, 2012 at 10:57am —
** Arnold Schwarzenegger clearly has diarrhea of the mouth. And a penis for a brain.
** It's a tie between the dog, the kids and the husband as to who is the messiest.
** I'm starting to think I live in the Hundred Acre Woods with all the recent wildlife… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 5, 2012 at 9:52pm —