** I am totally addicted to selling crap on virtual garage sale sites.
** Finding a CLEAN gas station bathroom is like finding a unicorn.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 10, 2014 at 1:46pm — No Comments
** The first day of school is a blessing like no other.
** Homework's about to unleash its evil wrath upon us very, very soon.
Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 29, 2014 at 12:45pm — No Comments
** Goatdog likes wine, which makes total sense since he is my dog.
** If it's not written down, it's not getting done.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 18, 2014 at 10:22am — No Comments
** Jet lag is not really the vacation souvenir I had in mind.
** Even the eyes in the back of my head have bags underneath them.
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 11, 2014 at 10:21am — No Comments
** Winter is officially "over" -- and I'll believe it when I see it.
** The Tooth Fairy's gonna have to start leaving IOU's if my twins don't go to bed earlier at night.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 21, 2014 at 10:14am — No Comments
Most of you know by now that our Goatdog is one crazy son of a bitch (literally -- cause, you know, he's a DOG). He's body-slammed himself through a glass door, eaten my kitchen chairs, and taken a giant dump right in the middle of a dinner party. And he absolutely loses his mind if a strange man is on our…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 20, 2014 at 10:17am — No Comments
** I'm not good at getting lucky.
** Child labor is more expensive than it used to be.
** A little piece of me dies every time people "REPLY…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 7, 2014 at 4:36pm — No Comments
** If I looked like David Beckham, I'd be naked ALL the time.
** I'm a firm Belieber that Justin needs a big ol' time…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 24, 2014 at 10:21am — No Comments
** Trying to get my kids to organize their rooms is like trying to get a dog to scoop his own poop.
** I wish somebody would jump to make me dinner whenever I say I'm hungry.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 6, 2013 at 12:16pm — No Comments
I love to pass down to my daughter things that I used to have when I was a little girl. It's like I'm sharing a tiny piece of my history with her. For example, she has my old baby ring that she wears on a necklace, as well as some of my old baby clothes that she uses to dress up her stuffed animals. And recently, she hit the ultimate jackpot when my mom came across my old Raggedy Ann doll up in the attic. She was so excited to have…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 23, 2013 at 4:25pm — No Comments
In my house, the poop and the fan need no introduction. They are quite familiar with each other, especially when my husband is out of town. Because that's precisely the time that things tend to go very wrong. And usually, it's right at bedtime -- you know, when I've had just about all the fun I can take for one…Continue
** It's too bad "Dexter" didn't have an alternative ending to make up for the super sucky one they showed us last Sunday night.
** I keep waving the white flag, but…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 27, 2013 at 3:31pm — No Comments
** Apparently, hormones, cramps, and child birth weren't enough, so we have night sweats to add to all the fun.
** Goatdog likes Mammaw so much that he wants to eat her.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 6, 2013 at 6:03pm — No Comments
** School REALLY needs to start. Cause my patience has left the building.
** The smell of an amusement park is a compilation of B.O., grease, and ass.
** I'm not…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 24, 2013 at 11:44am — No Comments
** I'm not sure why people are so surprised that a guy named "Weiner" likes to show off his junk.
** Goatdog drinks water like he's bobbing for apples.
** A good…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 26, 2013 at 5:11pm — No Comments
** Hormones can bite me.
** The world needs a lot less know-it-all's and a lot more chill pills.
** Sometimes it's just easier to pretend like my…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 28, 2013 at 9:20pm — No Comments
** The revolving door of kids, dirt, and craziness must mean it's FINALLY Summer.
** Moms should get a cut of all lemonade stand profits.
** And somebody totally…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 14, 2013 at 7:06pm — No Comments
It's amazing to me how Goatdog and I can have such differing opinions of the UPS man. We're talking complete opposite ends of the spectrum, people. I just so happen to LOVE a visit from the man in brown. I mean, he brings me wine and shoes and sassy new dresses -- what girl wouldn't love that??! Goatdog,…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 6, 2013 at 11:43pm — No Comments
Goatdog continues to amaze me with the ridiculously crazy things he chooses to eat. Lately, he's munched on everything from aluminum foil to snotty Kleenex's. The more…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 25, 2013 at 1:48pm — No Comments
** The longer you watch t.v. at night, the stupider the commercials get.
** North Korea needs a giant chill pill.
** I seriously hate…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 12, 2013 at 2:35pm — No Comments