If I could take myself into a dark alley and kick my own ass, I totally would cause I seriously dropped the parenting ball the other night (once again).  Yes, I completely failed my duty as the Tooth Fairy, y'all.  Now I know that plenty of people have said that they, too, have forgotten a tooth here and there, but I swore that I would never…

** It's kind of disturbing to hear your nine year old sing about having someone blow his whistle.  (Yeah, thanks, Flo Rida.)

** I'm beyond thankful I'm not married to a politician.

** Fun-size 3 Musketeers are downright dangerous.

** My ass is gonna beep when I back up if I don't amp up my workout routine again…

** A successful night is when the Tooth Fairy remembers to do her duty AND even has change for a twenty!  Holla!

** Nine year olds evidently need to be reminded not to stick jelly beans up their noses.

** It's amazing how a closed bathroom door means nothing to my kids until they're the ones behind it.

** I like road trips…

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** Sometimes turds just don't want to be flushed.

** I really really heart selling jewelry.

** It's a terribly bad idea to enter a bakery when you're starving.

** Trying to brush my daughter's hair in the morning is like trying to lasso a…

As a parent, I'm trying REALLY hard to hold onto the whole believing in the Tooth Fairy thing for as long as is humanly possible.  So when a kid's tooth falls out in this house?  Well, I wanna be on top of that shit like white on rice.  Unfortunately, however, I'm not always totally prepared for the curve balls that motherhood sometimes throws my…