Jennifer Marshall's Blog Posts Tagged 'grocery' (17)

The Grocery Store: Gathering Place for Jackholes

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Going to the grocery store is definitely not my idea of a good time.  Sure it's nice when your kids are FINALLY old enough that you don't have to drag them with you every time you need to run out for a loaf of bread.  A few minutes of alone time can do wonders for the sanity.  However, a quick trip to the store can very…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 26, 2014 at 2:01pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The noise in my house is often so LOUD that I could walk out and nobody would even notice.

** It would be AWESOME to still get care packages every now and then like we did in college.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 28, 2014 at 1:30pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Cancer is a giant, life-stealing asshole.

**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 10, 2014 at 5:19pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Whoever declared the recorder a "musical" instrument was obviously deaf.

** The UPS man has left more on my porch lately than the squirrels have.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 20, 2013 at 8:00pm — No Comments

HOLY Berries!!!

I originally posted this a few years ago, but it's definitely one that I like to pull out of the vault again at holiday time.  Cause it's about liquor.  And who DOESN'T need a cup of cheerful something or other at this time of the year??!!

You know it's gonna be a good day when you're strolling through the wine aisle at the grocery store on a random…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 11, 2013 at 5:00pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The mayor of Toronto is a walking Saturday Night Live skit.

 …

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 22, 2013 at 5:33pm — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Week

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** It's super fun when my twins come out of their rooms after 30 seconds and claim they can't go to sleep.

** Christmas is only six weeks away -- holy crapola!…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 15, 2013 at 12:52pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** It's gotta be a scientific fact that kids are 10 times crazier in the summer.

** Kicking your own ass is harder than having someone else kick it for you.

** I'm not above napping in public.

** Someone needs to punch me the next time I decide that 4 weeks without summer camp is a good idea.

** Since we didn't win…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 9, 2013 at 10:21am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I'm not sure why people are so surprised that a guy named "Weiner" likes to show off his junk.

** Goatdog drinks water like he's bobbing for apples.

** A good…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 26, 2013 at 5:11pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** My kids think Santa can make ANYTHING, which means that I am totally and completely SCREWED.

** "Customer" and "service" are two words that, sadly, don't belong together anymore.

** Static electricity is a very unfortunate side effect of Winter.

**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 16, 2012 at 4:55pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The time change is making me think I'm late to everything.  (O.k., so later than usual).

 

** My town has already put up its Christmas decorations.  So we can now eat our Halloween candy under the mistletoe.

** After a thorough cleaning of my daughter's room, turns out there isn't a dead body in there after all.

**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 9, 2012 at 12:29pm — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Week

** I am a chocolate chip cookie whore.

** Sinus headaches and motherhood go together about as well as flannel pajamas go with humidity.

** Meal plans that don't include chocolate or wine are clearly not the plans for me.

** Finding a store that still sells Excedrin Migraine is like finding the pot of gold at the end of a…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 20, 2012 at 6:14pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The self-checkout lanes at the grocery store are no place for morons.

** Wednesday evening was evidently "Be An Asshole" night at my house.  (I didn't get the memo.)

** It's impossible NOT to smile when you see a dog hanging out a car window, beard blowing in the breeze.

** My son claims to "love being…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 18, 2012 at 11:39am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week (& A Gift Card Giveaway!!!!)

** Every time I try to be the early bird, my kids have already beaten me to the damn worm.

** The apple doesn't fall far from the tree since my son evidently also writes "notes to self".

** I'm a little obsessed with Thymes Frasier Fir line for the holidays.

**After living with a…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 2, 2011 at 2:22pm — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Week

** My ass is sure not a fan of sitting for six or more hours at a time.

 

** Grocery shopping on the eve of any given holiday is for masochists and crazy people.

 

** A giant cardboard box is the greatest toy you could give a kid.

 

** Comic books (ahem, "graphic novels") have completely consumed my husband.

 

** When…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 25, 2011 at 12:04pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

 

** Nobody ever forewarns you about all the skid marks of motherhood (and I do mean that LITERALLY).

 

** My kids have more energy than Richard Simmons on cocaine.

 

** Screaming is evidently my son's new favorite hobby.

 

** I sure know how to waste a crapload of time.

 

** Sleeping with the window open totally…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 9, 2011 at 11:03am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

 

** Kids pick the most awesomely inopportune times to take a dump.

 

** Summer = an impromptu game of kick-the-can on a random Monday night.

 

** Goatdog is about to become a street dog.

 

** I wouldn't do well in that Little House on the Prairie.

 

** If Tuesday and Wednesday had a Facebook page, I would NOT…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 29, 2011 at 1:11pm — No Comments

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