All Blog Posts Tagged 'homework' (49)

Things I've Learned This Week

** It's too bad "Dexter" didn't have an alternative ending to make up for the super sucky one they showed us last Sunday night.

** I keep waving the white flag, but…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 27, 2013 at 3:31pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I could open a wig shop with all the hair in the drain.

** The cooler weather's giving me that "Holy-Crap-My-Twins-Have-No-Pants-That-Fit-Them" feeling.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 20, 2013 at 10:22am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to myself.  *itch*  *scratch* *sniff*

** Erectile dysfunction commercials make me really…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 13, 2013 at 1:13pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** Apparently, hormones, cramps, and child birth weren't enough, so we have night sweats to add to all the fun.

** Goatdog likes Mammaw so much that he wants to eat her.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 6, 2013 at 6:03pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I don't know where I am or what I'm supposed to be doing.

** Insomnia wants to be my BFF.

** My kids have mentally checked out for the summer, which will make the…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 31, 2013 at 3:07pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** Living next door to construction is like having an earthquake as your neighbor.

** I don't know who's more excited when there's no homework -- the kids or me.

** Danica Patrick "pole position" jokes are plentiful when my husband's around.

** I'm not sure whether to feel flattered or offended that everybody seems to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 22, 2013 at 10:21am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** 'Tis the season to be an asshole.  Apparently.

** I am not the Energizer Bunny.

** The Elf on the Shelf might very well be my nemesis.

** Anything that's lost is very likely at the bottom of my son's backpack.

** I should really write a country song cause I've got the homework blues.

** Leaving your…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 8, 2012 at 2:04pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The SNL "Schweddy Balls" skit just never ever gets old.

** I'm still not a fan of LED Christmas lights.

** Candy Cane Chapstick is the bomb dot com.  For real.

** The endless barrage of holiday catalogs being crammed into my mailbox has once again…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 30, 2012 at 11:11am — No Comments

Sick Husband = Big Baby

I don't know how it is in your household, but in mine, there's a WORLD of difference between when I get sick and when my husband gets sick.  We're talking night and day contrast, people.  You see, he turns into a 39 year-old baby when he's under the weather, whereas I must continue with life as normal, sniffles and aches, be damned!

It was just last week when my other…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 4, 2012 at 10:02am — 2 Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The silverware thief is at it again.

** It's hard to have an adult conversation when you see your kid making armpit farts out of the corner of your eye.

** Crying over spilled milk is totally justified when it's a mere millimeter from your laptop.

** If burping is the sign of a good meal, then snoring is surely the sign of a good…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 7, 2012 at 6:30pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** As predicted, back-to-school has totally kicked my ass up and down and all around.

** Always trust your gut.  Unless it's telling you to eat a dozen donuts.

** My daughter's wreck of a room looks like a junk store had the stomach flu.

** Goatdog is evidently a HUGE fan of the food in the pantry.

** If I had…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 5, 2012 at 12:20pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The self-checkout lanes at the grocery store are no place for morons.

** Wednesday evening was evidently "Be An Asshole" night at my house.  (I didn't get the memo.)

** It's impossible NOT to smile when you see a dog hanging out a car window, beard blowing in the breeze.

** My son claims to "love being…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 18, 2012 at 11:39am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I like electricity.

** Mondays are like a zit on your chin that won't go away.

** Politics are so freaking political.

** My kids could be drawing on their walls with Sharpies at bedtime, but as long as they stay in their rooms, I really wouldn't care.

** Nothing makes you prouder than your son yelling from the…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 11, 2012 at 11:50am — No Comments

Third Grade Math Can Kiss My 3.14hole

If you follow me on Twitter, you've probably been subjected to my bitching about third grade math from time to time.  Call me crazy, but I'm just not a big fan of assignments that make make me feel dumber than my nine-year-old children.  Cause right now, my kids think I know everything, and this math crap is totally starting to blow my cover!!!

Take,…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 9, 2012 at 11:09am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** Bloating and cramping are God's way of saying, "Sucks to be you!!!"

** Giselle Bundchen needs to be introduced to the wonderful world of duct tape.

** A rotten bag of mushrooms makes your…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 10, 2012 at 10:51am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** An Eskimo is something I could never ever be.

** You know it's cold when the geese are saying "Let's get the HELL outta here!!!!" as they fly overhead.

** I need a restraining order for the insomnia that continues to stalk me.

** Trying to get a third grader to work on a research project is about as easy as trying to get a mime…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 20, 2012 at 10:17am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** If a day ever went by where a kid HADN'T peed on a toilet seat here, I'd swear I was in the wrong house.

** I seriously could not be more unorganized.

** Everybody needs a mental health day.  (Still waiting impatiently to cash in on mine....)

** Homework supervision is totally interfering with my tweeting and…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 6, 2012 at 11:36am — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Year (A Recap of the Best of 2011)

** My son likes to make his penis talk.  (Don't ask.)

** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town.

** My kids wait to take a dump until it's time to walk out the door.

** This ass isn't gonna run itself off.

** You can never ever hug your kids too much.

** When life hands you…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 31, 2011 at 1:07pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

_____________________________________________________________________

 

** Duct tape and dead bolts need to become part of our nightly bedtime routine.

 

** Jerry Sandusky makes even the devil himself look like a saint.

 

** My kids evidently think the floor is a coat rack.

 

** That annoying…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 18, 2011 at 1:12pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

 

** Recovery time from the weekend is much much longer than it used to be.

 

** I should just hand out money to trick-or-treaters as much as candy costs these days.

 

** School pick up in the rain is about as much fun as filing your nails with a chain saw.

 

** It's impossible to get the smell of dead snail off your hands.  Don't ask…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 21, 2011 at 10:13am — No Comments

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