All Blog Posts Tagged 'homework' (57)

Google Is My Copilot

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Remember that show, "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"  Well, it turns out, I'm apparently not.  You see, I happen to live with two of them, and I'm reminded of that fact nearly every friggin' night when I try to help them with their homework -- I swear we never learned ANY of this stuff until high…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 12, 2014 at 2:38pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Whoever sent the Polar Vortex an invitation to return is in need of a good ass kicking.

** If I wanted to live in Antarctica, I would've moved to Antarctica.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 31, 2014 at 1:38pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Supervising a chain gang would be more enjoyable than supervising homework.

** The world needs a whole lot more Tina Fey & Amy Poehler.

** My…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 17, 2014 at 10:49pm — 1 Comment

Texting with the Shorties

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As a parent, technology is often my worst enemy.  Not only does it turn my son into a zombified video game addict half the time, but it also gives me gray hairs worrying about the prospect of someone sending a damn naked picture to one of my middle schoolers.  (*Gasp!!!*)  However, I'm starting to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 18, 2013 at 12:12pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The mayor of Toronto is a walking Saturday Night Live skit.

 …

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 22, 2013 at 5:33pm — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Homework is making me wanna stick my head in the oven.  On convection.

** My children are certainly not winning any awards for getting ready for bed quickly.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 8, 2013 at 2:56pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I might very well be the most unorganized person on the earth.

** Bite-sized candies can kiss (but not stick to) my ass.

** The only person who hates homework more…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 11, 2013 at 11:55am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** When people say, "Good morning!", I'm not quite sure how they assume that it's good.

** The government REALLY needs to get over its giant temper tantrum.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 4, 2013 at 9:55pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** It's too bad "Dexter" didn't have an alternative ending to make up for the super sucky one they showed us last Sunday night.

** I keep waving the white flag, but…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 27, 2013 at 3:31pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I could open a wig shop with all the hair in the drain.

** The cooler weather's giving me that "Holy-Crap-My-Twins-Have-No-Pants-That-Fit-Them" feeling.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 20, 2013 at 10:22am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to myself.  *itch*  *scratch* *sniff*

** Erectile dysfunction commercials make me really…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 13, 2013 at 1:13pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** Apparently, hormones, cramps, and child birth weren't enough, so we have night sweats to add to all the fun.

** Goatdog likes Mammaw so much that he wants to eat her.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 6, 2013 at 6:03pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I don't know where I am or what I'm supposed to be doing.

** Insomnia wants to be my BFF.

** My kids have mentally checked out for the summer, which will make the…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 31, 2013 at 3:07pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** Living next door to construction is like having an earthquake as your neighbor.

** I don't know who's more excited when there's no homework -- the kids or me.

** Danica Patrick "pole position" jokes are plentiful when my husband's around.

** I'm not sure whether to feel flattered or offended that everybody seems to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 22, 2013 at 10:21am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** 'Tis the season to be an asshole.  Apparently.

** I am not the Energizer Bunny.

** The Elf on the Shelf might very well be my nemesis.

** Anything that's lost is very likely at the bottom of my son's backpack.

** I should really write a country song cause I've got the homework blues.

** Leaving your…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 8, 2012 at 2:04pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The SNL "Schweddy Balls" skit just never ever gets old.

** I'm still not a fan of LED Christmas lights.

** Candy Cane Chapstick is the bomb dot com.  For real.

** The endless barrage of holiday catalogs being crammed into my mailbox has once again…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 30, 2012 at 11:11am — No Comments

Sick Husband = Big Baby

I don't know how it is in your household, but in mine, there's a WORLD of difference between when I get sick and when my husband gets sick.  We're talking night and day contrast, people.  You see, he turns into a 39 year-old baby when he's under the weather, whereas I must continue with life as normal, sniffles and aches, be damned!

It was just last week when my other…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 4, 2012 at 10:02am — 2 Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The silverware thief is at it again.

** It's hard to have an adult conversation when you see your kid making armpit farts out of the corner of your eye.

** Crying over spilled milk is totally justified when it's a mere millimeter from your laptop.

** If burping is the sign of a good meal, then snoring is surely the sign of a good…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 7, 2012 at 6:30pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** As predicted, back-to-school has totally kicked my ass up and down and all around.

** Always trust your gut.  Unless it's telling you to eat a dozen donuts.

** My daughter's wreck of a room looks like a junk store had the stomach flu.

** Goatdog is evidently a HUGE fan of the food in the pantry.

** If I had…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 5, 2012 at 12:20pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The self-checkout lanes at the grocery store are no place for morons.

** Wednesday evening was evidently "Be An Asshole" night at my house.  (I didn't get the memo.)

** It's impossible NOT to smile when you see a dog hanging out a car window, beard blowing in the breeze.

** My son claims to "love being…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 18, 2012 at 11:39am — No Comments

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