All Blog Posts Tagged 'humor' (602)

Playing With Trains at Midnight

Hmm, time for Not Me! Monday. You want honesty? You got it! My next New York City Moms blog article was not overdue. I finally finished it this morning and it’s in the cue. I’ll let you know when it gets published. It’s called “Natural Birth, Duggar Style.” I do not still owe someone a book review, have to watch a video about breastfeeding and write the review, and manage 1781…
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Added by Dagmar Bleasdale on February 8, 2010 at 7:30pm — No Comments

Non-Verbal Communication in Marriage: What to Look for What it Means

I consider myself an expert in the field of Non-Verbal Communication. My husband is an engineer, which is to say he has a PhD in Non-Verbal Communication. He was on the Dean’s list when I met him. He flourished under the tutelage of a blue collar step-father, a man of few words: “Who left the milk out?” and “I’m going out.”



I am psychic. I can read my mind. I think everyone else should be able to, too. Especially if we’ve spent more than an hour trauma bonding. Or if we’ve been… Continue

Added by Amy Musing on February 8, 2010 at 8:09am — No Comments

The Book Wasn't Worth it but the Revenge Was

I did not walk into the library today with the intention of playing head games with the brittle-boned, fastidious, In-Rules-We-Trust librarian. But she, and her rule fixation, drove me to it. Two polar opposites come together and you get this sort of chemical reaction.



She is eyeing me in my sweats and frizzy curls. I am eyeing her beige, ironed…is that a Dorothy Hamill haircut? I almost say it out loud. The way I would shout with excitement: Is that an original Spyrograph?!!! if I… Continue

Added by Amy Musing on February 1, 2010 at 2:44pm — No Comments

Truthful/Tell all Tuesdays

Ok, Ladies its Tuesday and ,as I said, today is the day we can all vent "anonymously" if preferred, and get everything off our minds..without judgement:)I will start the ball rolling:

Is it wrong that sometimes I wish I was brave enough to dose my kids with ibuprofin, so they would go to sleep at a reasonable hour without me having to lay down with them?

Sometimes, I really miss my life before I was married or had kids, so much so that I fantasize about who I used to be:)LOL

OK,… Continue

Added by Deborah A Cruz-Beck on January 26, 2010 at 8:10am — No Comments

If You See a Guy with This Expression, Run Away!!

ven though I told myself I would never ever do this on a weekend, I found myself, yet again, in the crowded grocery store on Sunday. I needed to go up the bread aisle and there was a man coming my way, pushing a cart. He looked like he wasn’t used to grocery shopping or pushing a cart, or being anyplace, really, other than a golf course or a leather couch, smoking a cigar and dusting off his reading glasses with an Egyptian linen handkerchief that has his initials embroidered on the diagonal of… Continue

Added by Amy Musing on December 15, 2009 at 7:39am — No Comments

Confessions of a Breast Feeder

I have wonderful things to say about breastfeeding. In fact here are my top 5 reasons why I like breast feeding



•It lets you bond with your child

•It is cheaper than formula

•You give your child the antibodies they need

•It is the perfect food for your child

•It helps you lose the baby weight





You see … nothing but great things to say. Of course my sister in law holds the record … between her two children she has been nursing for 5 years… Continue

Added by Sleepless on November 25, 2009 at 10:00am — No Comments

The Pilot Episode of Desperate Roommates

In the neighborhood I moved to my second year out of college, a sublet was easier to find than a studio apartment. I sat in a diner booth and circled classifieds in the “room for rent” column of The Ann Arbor News, called each number and was able to line up four apartments in one afternoon. All of which were in walking distance to the ad agency where I’d begin work in one week. I still had to drive three states away to get my furniture and drive it back in a U-Haul. That didn’t leave much… Continue

Added by Amy Musing on November 10, 2009 at 9:56am — No Comments

A Star is Born on the Internet...Literally!

Have you heard about the woman who's going to give birth live on the internet? That's right, according to Boston.com, Lynsee (that's two "E's"), a 23 year-old teacher from Minneapolis, is going to bring forth her 1st child live on camera for the whole world to see.



Am I shocked? Not really. Grossed out a bit, but not shocked. She's going to famous. Really, really famous...for like half a day...maybe longer if she goes for the Petocin. Now who doesn't want that?



According… Continue

Added by Sarah Maizes on November 6, 2009 at 1:34am — No Comments

Think of it as Cultivating Talent not Ineffectual Parenting

My husband took our 9-year old clothes shopping. It seems Vincent cannot sit in his size 10 jeans anymore without the top snap popping open. I would have thought the time to shop for the next size up would have been weeks ago, when overnight all his jeans turned into capris. Judging by their purchases, it seems my husband is no better at shopping with Vincent than I am. Had I known they were going to combine their trip to the flying field with clothes shopping, I would have prepped my husband.… Continue

Added by Amy Musing on November 2, 2009 at 8:48am — No Comments

Trick-or-Treat Lasts for Weeks at Our House

I put the kibosh on the unlimited Halloween candy fest the day after beggar’s night. The boys gorged for one glorious day.



“Gorge!! Are you serious??” my 13-year old protests as he reads over my shoulder. “I had one Butterfinger on beggar’s night! The next morning, as soon as we woke up, you told us we could only have two pieces.”



I think it was the way I announced how the candy would be rationed that was most annoying. In a strained accent, as if I were a professor at the… Continue

Added by Amy Musing on November 1, 2009 at 7:45am — No Comments

Potty Mouth Mommy

I tried not to swear in front of my oldest son well into elementary school, out of fear he would repeat it and I’d get the evil eye from all the good mothers, who said things like “golly” and “oopsy daisy” when they gouged their skulls in the corner of their kitchen cabinet, or slammed their hand in their car door in the school parking lot. But James would never repeat a bad word. He just knew. Vincent, however, is a parrot. Nothing can be said around Vincent that you don’t want repeated. He… Continue

Added by Amy Musing on October 20, 2009 at 8:13pm — No Comments

Top 10 Reasons You Couldn't PAY Me to Have Another Kid

This post could very well get me unfollowed on Twitter. Mommy bloggers all over are going to read this (this assumes, of course, that I have that many readers) and say "See? It's women like that who don't deserve a child." Look, I'm just one of those women who knows her limitations. I have one very awesome daughter and absolutely no wish to roll that particular set of dice again. Nope. I know when to fold and walk away from the table. And don't ask me about these gambling metaphors either.… Continue

Added by Michele on October 7, 2009 at 8:41am — No Comments

Don't Buy the Hindu's Candy

Dude, when did going to the movies become something you had to save up for? I know that bitching about the cost of movie-going these days has been done, but I can't help it. Everytime I go, I wonder how the people that run the theaters and/or the people who run the concession, are able to get their A.I.G. on and continue to charge consumers prices for things like candy and soda that are so clearly robbery. Oh, and now, not only are they continuing to violate us in the most base and lube-less of… Continue

Added by Michele on September 30, 2009 at 9:20am — No Comments

I Can Quit at Any Time

I joined the writers fan page The Nervous Breakdown a few months back because some of my Myspace friends who, like me, are whoring around Facebook now, and joined the group. If you can’t find me, I go where the traffic goes. Lemming is my maiden name. But I changed it to Kehoe just before puberty because what anxious Catholic girl doesn’t want to go through adolescence being called Keyhole???… Continue

Added by Amy Musing on September 29, 2009 at 10:00am — No Comments

I Should Totally Be Writing Pornomedy

(Disclaimer: Adult Content or something....I couldn't make this shit up)



There was this guy. His name was Wayne but he looked so much like Kevin Costner that me and my best friend called him Kevin. Not to be confused with the real Kevin I was also seeing who owned a restaurant and did things that I'd tell him to do that I'm sure he'd never want anyone to even speculate about, let alone write about on their blog. But that's a whole 'nother post.



So I went out with Kevin… Continue

Added by Michele on September 24, 2009 at 8:20am — No Comments

Sage Advice from my Tween to a Teen

Out of the mouths of babes. http://www.amymusings.com/2009/09/23/first-you-have-to-collect-chics/

Added by Amy Musing on September 23, 2009 at 9:33pm — No Comments

I'd Suggest Decaf Before Attempting This

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Added by Michele on September 22, 2009 at 8:40am — 1 Comment

Did that letter intended for drafts accidently get sent? You're not alone. Laugh it off here:

Scenario 1: You know when you’re writing one of those put-that-insulting-woman-in-her-place letters that you only intend for the recipient to be your drafts folder? You’re writing it for therapeutic reasons, really, as you know you would never have the nerve to actually stand up for yourself and hit “send”. Certainly, if you did, you would do it with dignity, not sprinkle it with the F word as liberally as movie theatres salt their popcorn to bring you to near death by dehydration so you have… Continue

Added by Amy Musing on September 16, 2009 at 1:29pm — No Comments

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