** Just so we're clear, I will still drink the wine if a fruit fly lands in my glass.
** The end of the school year is when all the crap that's been shoved into a tiny desk for nine months suddenly makes its way into your kitchen (or your trash).
** My son thinks I grew up in the early 1900's. Awesome.
** When you don't have…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 8, 2012 at 10:58am — No Comments
You'd think past experience would've taught me not to trust my husband to cut my son's hair. However, I must've had a momentary lapse in judgment over the weekend, for I allowed him to get the old clippers out once again. Call me kooky, but I guess I figured it couldn't be THAT hard to screw up a buzz cut, could it? (Ok, stop giggling,…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 13, 2012 at 2:59pm — No Comments
I love my husband. I do.
Last night we went to bed around 11:30p.m. At 4:45 a.m. this is what happened.
I was asleep on my side, facing outward. The same is true every night. He slept flat on his…Continue
Added by Heather Gifford on March 12, 2012 at 3:53pm — No Comments
** If I ever turn up missing, a vineyard in Sonoma is most likely where you'll find me.
** My daughter thinks I was born in 1818. Seriously, she asked if that was my birth year. WTF?!
** Entirely too many people think they have the right of way.
** Elementary School Open House could also be referred to as Nuts on a Stick. …Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 24, 2012 at 8:09pm — No Comments
My husband will hate that I’ve shared our story. I love him, but mostly I don’t care if this bothers him or not. It’s my story too. It’s the story of how we met.
When you are in high school, everyone wants to know when you will get your driver’s license. When you are in college, everyone wants to know what you are majoring in. When you finish college, everyone wants to know where you are working. When you are working, everyone wants to know if you are dating anyone. When you are…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on February 7, 2012 at 5:10pm — No Comments
By: Jennifer S.
I was the first of my family and friends to have a baby last year during the baby boom. Cousins were pregnant, co-workers were pregnant, friends were pregnant, even famous people who are significantly older than me were pregnant. I began to suspect babies aren’t really made the way my mother told me. I think sometimes you can get pregnant from drinking water.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on January 26, 2012 at 11:59am — No Comments
A nasty sickness has been worming it's way through our family, taking us out one by one like some kind of stealthy, paid-for-hire assassin.
I was first. Then my oldest daughter got and it and this weekend my husband got it. It is a nasty cold but not just any cold, a MAN COLD!
A man cold is similar (on paper) to your run of the mill woman cold, except that in real life it's much more dramatic and whiny.…Continue
Added by America's Next Top Mommy on January 25, 2012 at 9:01am — No Comments
I remember that afternoon at the office water cooler. Two of my co-workers were discussing their summer reading lists. I jumped in to the conversation by admitting I couldn’t remember the last time I had read a book and I was curious if they had any recommendations.
When I was growing up, if I didn’t have a Barbie in my hand, I had a book. Yes, I was that kid. It started with an encyclopedia…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on January 22, 2012 at 2:30pm — No Comments
Is one of your New Year’s resolutions to fall in love all over again with your significant other? As one of Michael Leunig’s quotes states, “Love one another and you will be happy; it is as simple and as difficult as that.” My husband and I say ‘I love you’ probably 20 times a day and although we mean it, we may have lost some of the passion in the words. Sometimes…
Added by Audreyvp on January 19, 2012 at 5:03pm — No Comments
I have a lot of things in my house that serve no purpose.I have them simply because I can. They might have been a good bargain or a well intentioned gift, but they serve no purpose in my life. Bath loofahs are a good example. I probably have 10, am always acquiring more, but never-ever use them.
I can take little credit for the meals which are prepared in our house. My husband is chef. I am cooking-assistant (yes, that’s what he really calls me). I peel potatoes, chop onions, boil…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on January 18, 2012 at 1:13pm — No Comments
One of the absolute best moments of my entire life was the moment I saw my son for the first time. Of course it was! My entire life would never be the same.
But months before the birth of our son, an unexpected moment made me realize how my life was about to change.
I was 5 months pregnant before two tests confirmed our family would be growing. It wasn’t a dramatic I-Didn’t-Know-I-Was-Pregnant (on TLC) moment, just a surprise that I had a difficult time accepting. Babies…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on January 17, 2012 at 12:56pm — No Comments
Let me preface what follows with two key points:
1. If a child does something interesting once, it’s only interesting. If they do it consistently, then you’ve got something to worry about.
2. My taste in music sucks… as in I have no taste in music.
Having a child in and of itself is full of surprises. Despite expecting unexpected moments, I have noticed an unusual behavior in child that isn’t mentioned in What to Expect When You’re Expecting: The First Year. During…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on January 14, 2012 at 9:08pm — No Comments
My son doesn’t have a Jack-in-the-box. Excuse me while I pause and breathe a sigh of relief.
But what does alarm me are the toys that play music, light up, or have some other battery operated function… especially at 3 am.
If you’re a mom it’s not hard to imagine that 3 am wake-up call from your child. You hear a small sound coming from the baby monitor and hope it doesn’t become a bigger more upset sound. But the moans and groans become a cry and you accept your fate (if you…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on January 14, 2012 at 7:10pm — No Comments
I have never been a world traveler. I’ve only ever left the country to go to Canada, didn’t go to Walt Disney World until I was 19 years old, flew once on an airplane when I was 2 years old and not again until I was 24, and I have never been on the West Coast.
I can still remember those random winter days when we would gather for a family meeting to discuss where we wanted to go for our family vacation. Being the ten year old history buff I was, I always suggested colonial…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on January 12, 2012 at 12:40pm — No Comments
** My son likes to make his penis talk. (Don't ask.)
** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town.
** My kids wait to take a dump until it's time to walk out the door.
** This ass isn't gonna run itself off.
** You can never ever hug your kids too much.
** When life hands you…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 31, 2011 at 1:07pm — No Comments
The other day I sent out a tweet that could quite possibly be misconstrued as naughty by nature -- I said something to the effect of "My husband's Jolly Juice is a-flowing". Now many of you may have thought that this was some sort of sexual reference (cause let's be honest, usually it is), but surprisingly, this time, it was actually a very innocent comment referring to a new cocktail recipe that I found recently and somehow persuaded my husband to whip up for our friends and…Continue
Last but most certainly not least is our final Gift Guide for the season: The Stocking Stuffer Gift Guide. For many, stockings are the best part of Christmas. Don’t you love finding those little gems for each member of your family, especially those that do not cost a…
Added by Audreyvp on December 20, 2011 at 12:55pm — No Comments
My husband never writes a list for Christmas, or hints about gifts that he would like. Every year, I encourage him to please tell me what he would like and, every year, he says that I always know the right thing to give him (except the one year I gave him a vacuum – if you know my husband it really…
Added by Audreyvp on December 17, 2011 at 5:31pm — No Comments
It’s Kindergarten time and we and when I say “we” I say that loosely as I rather mean “I” as Mom! Mom has had to deal with; lice, cold, flu, fevers, pink eye, growing pains, nightmares, teething, etc.
My husband works during the day so, I get it, I…Continue
Added by Tawna Richard on October 21, 2011 at 4:30pm — No Comments
See…I have been having…Continue
Added by Tawna Richard on September 23, 2011 at 12:05pm — No Comments