** There's nothing like having your kids barge into your bathroom and present you with a Valentine while you're standing there buck naked.…
** I'm not sure what's disappearing faster around here -- my money or our iPhone chargers.…
As a parent, technology is often my worst enemy. Not only does it turn my son into a zombified video game addict half the time, but it also gives me gray hairs worrying about the prospect of someone sending a damn naked picture to one of my middle schoolers. (*Gasp!!!*) However, I'm starting to…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 18, 2013 at 12:12pm — No Comments
Remember the good old days when your kids would be perfectly happy with the giant cardboard box their gifts came in? Give 'em some markers, and they were entertained for…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 5, 2013 at 6:00pm — No Comments
** Homework is making me wanna stick my head in the oven. On convection.
** My children are certainly not winning any awards for getting ready for bed quickly.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 8, 2013 at 2:56pm — No Comments
** The revolving door of kids, dirt, and craziness must mean it's FINALLY Summer.
** Moms should get a cut of all lemonade stand profits.
** And somebody totally…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 14, 2013 at 7:06pm — No Comments
** I most certainly did NOT inherit my mom's hair-braiding skills.
** Apparently, Gap Kids sells husky-sized skinny jeans. Anybody else confused?
** Winter can kiss…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 8, 2013 at 9:00pm — No Comments
My kids are driving me absolutely CUCKOO-KACHOO with all the friggin' apps they continue to want for the iPhone. Every day it's something new. My damn phone now has over 8,764 different games on it! WTF?! Ok, so maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but I seriously can't find any of the things that I need on it anymore cause it's so overcrowded with kid…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 15, 2012 at 10:32am — No Comments
Something many people don't know about me is that I'm constantly writing things down that I want to remember. In fact, I am obsessed with the "Notes" app on my iPhone. Every time I see something interesting in a magazine or hear about a great product from a friend or have a random idea for a blog post, I save it on my phone for later use. The problem, however, is…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 1, 2012 at 1:12pm — No Comments
** My son likes to make his penis talk. (Don't ask.)
** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town.
** My kids wait to take a dump until it's time to walk out the door.
** This ass isn't gonna run itself off.
** You can never ever hug your kids too much.
** When life hands you…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 31, 2011 at 1:07pm — No Comments
** Skid marks can suck it.
** If you can drive five REALLY loud eight-year-old girls without wrecking the car, you can do just about anything.
** I think I'm gonna make it easier on myself and just give everyone access to my bank account this Christmas.
** Stupidity is what makes the world go round (or at least it seems…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 9, 2011 at 11:19am — No Comments
** Mother Nature forgot to take her meds once again.
** People who only write inspirational quotes for their Facebook status scare me.
** If you're a random piece of crap, you're probably sitting on my kitchen counter.
** Everything should be pumpkin-flavored this time of year.
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 30, 2011 at 10:20am — No Comments
I'm sure most of us have given our cell phones to our kids at some point or another to entertain them (i.e. shut them the hell up) while we run errands, right? And really, the worst that can happen is that we end up with a gazillion kids' game apps or an unexpected alarm going off at 3 AM (I speak from experience, y'all). However, who woulda thunk that the REAL danger…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 4, 2011 at 1:13pm — No Comments