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All Blog Posts Tagged 'moms' (765)

The Fort Knox Candy Breach

This little Weilk family chronicle takes place about a year ago. To set the scene properly you should probably know that Max and Jake share a room when they're not destroying it with Legos and action figures. Don't get me wrong, we are a very clean family and I make sure the rug-rats properly organize it before they go to bed every night.
Anyway, this particular day I just so happened…
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Added by Jennifer Weilk on March 12, 2012 at 1:30pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

_______________________________________________________________

** The shoe cubby in the foyer is the most logical place to store your jock cup.  Apparently.

** I've answered more questions than Google over the past several days.

** Snooki has confirmed her pregnancy.  I killed a…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 9, 2012 at 11:16am — No Comments

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY KID IS SAYING HE'S HUNGOVER!?!



This story takes place a couple of years ago when Jake was in 3rd grade and ranks a magnitude 10 on the Richtor scale of embarrassment. This was when I was working again full time and less hopeless (I joke). Anyway, Craig and I usually spent our weekends…

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Added by Jennifer Weilk on March 9, 2012 at 10:30am — 1 Comment

Storming the Gates in the Mornings

It's official! Trying to get my kids ready for school is like waging a full fledged war on time-management! Let me break down this morning's routine as we prepare to breach the castle like some sort of crazed screaming barbarians. And yes, someone will be calling to confirm my reservation at the nut…

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Added by Jennifer Weilk on March 7, 2012 at 10:00am — No Comments

Meet My Loving Dysfunctional Family

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Added by Jennifer Weilk on March 6, 2012 at 5:34pm — No Comments

Snappy Turtle Momma

 

 

Good News! I got my car washed, and it's squeaky clean.

 

Well, maybe not squeaky clean....

 

My minivan gets disgusting. I have to clean it before going to the carwash: Pick up discarded cheese-stick wrappers and Goldfish bags, squashed Fig Newtons. Scrape up encrusted spilled coffee from the cup holders. Pry up from floor mats sticky candy canes or melted Gummy Bears. 

 

At the carwash, I can barely look those…

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Added by Sandra Tyler on February 27, 2012 at 11:11pm — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Week

** If I ever turn up missing, a vineyard in Sonoma is most likely where you'll find me.

** My daughter thinks I was born in 1818.  Seriously, she asked if that was my birth year.  WTF?!

** Entirely too many people think they have the right of way.

** Elementary School Open House could also be referred to as Nuts on a Stick. …

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 24, 2012 at 8:09pm — No Comments

My 80s Fro

Don't you just love how candid kids can be?  Especially when it comes at your own personal expense?  Just think how awesome it would be if, as adults, we could say exactly what we think and have people chuckle and say how darn cute we are.  Unfortunately, however, we'd most likely end up getting our asses kicked and be unfriended by every single person we know on Facebook.

Luckily, for my daughter, it's still pretty hilarious when she asks me why my boobs aren't "as big as…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 23, 2012 at 9:22am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** A lovely Valentine's morning can quickly turn to a red and pink poop storm when you're a parent.

** If the smell of your own morning breath is making you gag, you know it's time to brush those pearly whites.

** I always seem to park in the spot where some lazy jackhole has left his unreturned shopping cart.

** Cookie bouquets…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 18, 2012 at 11:53am — No Comments

What Would Mrs. Garrett Do?

Parenthood, we have a problem.  My sweet baby girl has gone off the deep end.  Even though she's only eight years old, I'm seriously considering enrolling her in Maury Povich's boot camp.  Or a chain gang.  Or both.  Cause seriously?  This shit's gotta stop.  The kid has been sent to the principal's office not once but TWICE in one week, and one of those times was on…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 15, 2012 at 1:27pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** Bloating and cramping are God's way of saying, "Sucks to be you!!!"

** Giselle Bundchen needs to be introduced to the wonderful world of duct tape.

** A rotten bag of mushrooms makes your…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 10, 2012 at 10:51am — No Comments

Ain't Too Proud To Beg

Dear God,

Obviously, I love my kids with every little fiber of my being, but I swear to, well......you, actually, that they're involved in some sort of conspiracy theory to drive me straight to the loony bin.  Seriously, if I didn't know any better, I'd think they'd bought stock in Crazy Town, which is clearly where I'll be residing soon enough.  Any potential…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 8, 2012 at 4:52pm — No Comments

Lady and the Blog.com - 48 Hour Contest: Beth Aldrich’s Real Moms Love to Eat

http://www.ladyandtheblog.com/2012/02/07/48-hour-contest-beth-aldrichs-real-moms-love-to-eat/

Three (3) lucky LAB readers will receive signed copies of the book!

How do I enter? You have a few options AND EACH COUNTS AS ONE ENTRY. There is NO LIMIT to the number of times a reader can enter (via any of the entry channels) this contest.…

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Added by Vera Sweeney on February 8, 2012 at 10:43am — No Comments

Back to Basics

http://singlehoodtomotherhood.blogspot.comFor most of my adult life I worked in real estate.  There are many perks to being self-employed; the hours, the flexibility, the independence. The downside of course is the lack of steady income.  If you are not good at time management or self-motivation it can be really tough.  This is why, industry wide, there are always seminars on how to manage your time effectively, how to…

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Added by Ellie Lavi on February 1, 2012 at 3:30am — No Comments

Show Off Moms

We've all had a conversation with THAT mom at one time or another.  The one who can't talk to you like a normal human being because she's so busy telling you how talented and smart and perfect her child is and "don't you think he's amazing?"

Read The Entire Post Here

Added by America's Next Top Mommy on January 31, 2012 at 9:21am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** Your cabin fever's reached Code Red when you're jealous of the squirrels outside breathing in all that fresh, freezing cold air.

** Trying to work a crossword puzzle when you're tired just makes you feel stupid.  And tired.

** I've washed my hands so many times over the past few days that I may no longer have fingerprints.

**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 27, 2012 at 10:32am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** Skinny celebrities who say they get their cardio by "chasing their kids around" are more full of shit than my backyard.

** I don't have a few new leaves to turn over -- I have a whole damn PILE.

** Victoria's Secret catalogs that arrive in the dead of January when we're all a little heftier from the holidays can suck…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 13, 2012 at 11:22am — No Comments

Hello Kitty Rhinestone Earrings Giveaway





~*ENTER TO WIN THIS FABULOUS PAIR OF HELLO KITTY RHINESTONE CROWN…
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Added by Just a Marketing Mom on January 6, 2012 at 10:42pm — No Comments

Butterfly Pose- Baddha Konasana for kids!

Check out my blog: Baddha Konasana

Added by Abby Billings on December 29, 2011 at 5:18pm — No Comments

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