** I am a chocolate chip cookie whore.
** Sinus headaches and motherhood go together about as well as flannel pajamas go with humidity.
** Meal plans that don't include chocolate or wine are clearly not the plans for me.
** Finding a store that still sells Excedrin Migraine is like finding the pot of gold at the end of a…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 20, 2012 at 6:14pm — No Comments
I am more than grateful for the genius who came up with the idea for summer camp. Cause if my kids didn't have somewhere to go each and every day? They would surely have killed each other by now. However, as much as I like the idea…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 19, 2012 at 11:39am — No Comments
** My kids find dirt faster than a junkie finds smack.
** Movie popcorn always seems like a good idea at the time.
** A jackhammer at a Metallica concert would be quieter than some of the carpools I've driven.
** Canker sores and teeth are a HORRIBLE combination.
** The a-hole who's been trying to hack into…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 13, 2012 at 7:42pm — No Comments
I am sitting here in a starbucks with a laptop and a frappuccino all by myself. No children. Just me. Sitting here...alone. And its so nice. My thoughts are not interrupted by…
Added by Heather Jones on July 13, 2012 at 2:13pm — No Comments
One of my absolute favorite things to do with my kids is to read to them. Since I happen to have a borderline obsession with children's books, I get absolutely giddy when they want to share in my love of literature. That's why the bedtime story is one of my most treasured times of the day -- that is, until one of my twins decides to moon me right in the freakin' middle of…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 12, 2012 at 4:47pm — No Comments
As a parent, it's not only exhilarating but also necessary for survival to get away from your kids every now and then. Cause let's face it, as cute and as sweet as they are, they can be a giant pain in the ass. Am I right, or am I right? However, as much as I enjoy escaping them, I somehow find myself missing the little devils not too long after I'm gone. (Pathetic, I…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 10, 2012 at 10:46am — No Comments
** It really helps to have your eyes open while trying to drive.
** Sparklers just make everyone happy.
** My kids were no doubt fish in a former life.
** Laughing really hard with friends is a WAY better ab workout than doing boring old sit-ups by yourself.
** Bras and underwear should be outlawed in these…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 7, 2012 at 3:48pm — No Comments
** Girls and drama go together like humidity and swass.
** Try as I may, I just don't have the moves like Jagger.
** It's best to look at the toilet seat before sitting down, at least in my house anyway.
** Clearly, my kids wait till I've just changed their sheets to pee the bed.
** Drinking cheap wine after having…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 29, 2012 at 2:05pm — No Comments
Added by Me And Mommy TV by Lindsay Ahart on June 24, 2012 at 9:01am — No Comments
** Octomom doing porn is the same as an old man doing naked jumping jacks — NOBODYwants to see that shit!!!!!
** Hearing your kids tell you that you’re beautiful is one of the greatest perks of parenting.
** Morgan Freeman…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 22, 2012 at 2:41pm — No Comments
So I got that old familiar pit in the bottom of my motherly stomach again yesterday. It happened when I dropped my son off for his first day of Sports Camp. Yes, it's that same ol' dreaded feeling I seem to get whenever I leave my timid little guy in a strange new environment. You see, unlike his mama, he's quite the shy type, and it takes every bit of my willpower not to play the…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 19, 2012 at 8:47pm — No Comments
** A successful night is when the Tooth Fairy remembers to do her duty AND even has change for a twenty! Holla!
** Nine year olds evidently need to be reminded not to stick jelly beans up their noses.
** It's amazing how a closed bathroom door means nothing to my kids until they're the ones behind it.
** I like road trips…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 15, 2012 at 11:28am — No Comments
Last night I was invited to a birthday party of a girl I know. The invite read "another year of being in denial". Considering that she is around 40 the use of the word girl on my part is my own form of denial. While there, I ran into another friend and we chatted and she said that she had been thinking that this year she was turning 40 and maybe it was time to really consider single motherhood. Just then, she got an email from me announcing my new business and website and she saw it as a…Continue
** Just so we're clear, I will still drink the wine if a fruit fly lands in my glass.
** The end of the school year is when all the crap that's been shoved into a tiny desk for nine months suddenly makes its way into your kitchen (or your trash).
** My son thinks I grew up in the early 1900's. Awesome.
** When you don't have…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 8, 2012 at 10:58am — No Comments
** If a black cat runs in front of you, just pretend like it didn't.
** Kids ask why even when they don't give a rat's ass about the answer.
** You know times are tough when Dee Snider is doing…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 25, 2012 at 1:25pm — No Comments
My husband always tell me to tell it like it is so hear goes....We have 4 young children and as they are developing I realize more and more how important our choices are for them. Not that we are always making the right ones but at least trying to get it right is better then just not doing anything.
When our first child Luke was born we were like any other parent so conscious of everything. Is he breathing? Is he to hot/cold? Wanting him to hit every milestone 2 months ahead…Continue
Added by Tracy Goin on May 19, 2012 at 5:12pm — No Comments
** The self-checkout lanes at the grocery store are no place for morons.
** Wednesday evening was evidently "Be An Asshole" night at my house. (I didn't get the memo.)
** It's impossible NOT to smile when you see a dog hanging out a car window, beard blowing in the breeze.
** My son claims to "love being…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 18, 2012 at 11:39am — No Comments
I received an unexpected gift this Mothers Day. It was delivered from my past and came wrapped in a twenty year old quilted lavender bedspread. It was packed up in the back of our storage closet, propped up between the wooden crib where my babies slept and the plastic crates that my daughter recently brought home…Continue
Added by Amy Ruhlin on May 16, 2012 at 4:00pm — No Comments
After celebrating Mother's Day this past weekend, I'm not afraid to toot my own horn and say that my kids are huge fans of their mama. In fact, my poor husband is often shoved to the side when it comes to which parent they prefer. And as hunky dory as this all may sound in theory, it isn't always sunshine and roses.
For example, I could be all the way…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 15, 2012 at 11:02am — No Comments
** I like electricity.
** Mondays are like a zit on your chin that won't go away.
** Politics are so freaking political.
** My kids could be drawing on their walls with Sharpies at bedtime, but as long as they stay in their rooms, I really wouldn't care.
** Nothing makes you prouder than your son yelling from the…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 11, 2012 at 11:50am — No Comments