** Bras and humidity go together about as well as politicians and honesty.
** 7:30 AM is way too early for drama.
** It wouldn't surprise me in the least if my kids' heads spun around while they spit green pea soup at me.
** Spring baseball in Chicago can suck it.
** My imaginary housekeeper seems to have gone…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 4, 2012 at 10:45am — No Comments
There have been countless times during my parenting experience where I think we should really make religion more of a focus in our family. Now, don't get me wrong -- I, by no means, am a Bible beater; nor is my husband. However, little inquiring minds wanna know just who this "God" dude actually is and why so many people are always talking about him.
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 2, 2012 at 9:40pm — No Comments
I was reading a few funny blog posts the other day from writers who were getting a little frustrated with social media.
They didn't want to blog or tweet or Skype or sell - they just wanted to write. And while their comments were funny, they were serious.
I could relate. While most of the time, I'm very enthusiastic about blogging…Continue
Added by Diane Majeske on April 28, 2012 at 11:06am — No Comments
** Apparently, it's ALWAYS my fault.
** Bollywood dancing is actually pretty darn fun.
** Dogs apparently CAN eat a whole bunch of chocolate and not die.
** Turns out that I am not Super Woman.
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 27, 2012 at 3:05pm — No Comments
It's so hard to believe that it's been NINE whole years since my uterus was housing those two little beings pictured above. I welcomed them into this big wide world without having even the slightest clue how quickly time would fly. Since then, it's been a roller coaster ride of ABC's, training wheels, boo-boo's, and temper tantrums. They make me…Continue
On Monday morning, I awoke to find even bigger bags under my eyes and four new grey hairs at the crown of my head. I stared at my tired reflection in the mirror and thought, "Wow, is this REALLY what the next decade is gonna look like?" Here I was all prepared to rock my forties like a champ, but the day sure wasn't getting off to a very good…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 18, 2012 at 10:58am — No Comments
Yesterday I went to a birthday party for a little girl. Her mom is 8 1/2 months pregnant and happily snapping photos while the dad videoed everything and made sure the mom did not have to do much of anything.
I watched my kids play and eavesdropped on several conversations... it's what I do. There was the typical, "When I had my baby." story circle, the, "Oh he is so out of control!" complaints and the "What we did/ are doing for Spring Break." conversations. It was all very…Continue
Added by Lori Pace on March 19, 2012 at 1:15am — No Comments
** It's really difficult to do pushups when the dog's trying to hump you.
** Mornings around here are nuttier than a jar of Jif.
** If my house could talk, I'm pretty sure it would say, "Oink!"
** Little boys' fingernails are dirtier than the floor of an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day.
** Allergy shot are not a very…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 16, 2012 at 12:07pm — No Comments
Added by Jennifer Weilk on March 12, 2012 at 1:30pm — No Comments
Check out my latest blog: http://http://mommymomentswithabby.blogspot.com/2012/03/st-patricks-day-fun-for-entire-family.html
Added by Abby Billings on March 9, 2012 at 3:41pm — No Comments
** The shoe cubby in the foyer is the most logical place to store your jock cup. Apparently.
** I've answered more questions than Google over the past several days.
** Snooki has confirmed her pregnancy. I killed a…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 9, 2012 at 11:16am — No Comments
This story takes place a couple of years ago when Jake was in 3rd grade and ranks a magnitude 10 on the Richtor scale of embarrassment. This was when I was working again full time and less hopeless (I joke). Anyway, Craig and I usually spent our weekends…
It's official! Trying to get my kids ready for school is like waging a full fledged war on time-management! Let me break down this morning's routine as we prepare to breach the castle like some sort of crazed screaming barbarians. And yes, someone will be calling to confirm my reservation at the nut…Continue
Added by Jennifer Weilk on March 7, 2012 at 10:00am — No Comments
Added by Jennifer Weilk on March 6, 2012 at 5:34pm — No Comments
Good News! I got my car washed, and it's squeaky clean.
Well, maybe not squeaky clean....
My minivan gets disgusting. I have to clean it before going to the carwash: Pick up discarded cheese-stick wrappers and Goldfish bags, squashed Fig Newtons. Scrape up encrusted spilled coffee from the cup holders. Pry up from floor mats sticky candy canes or melted Gummy Bears.
At the carwash, I can barely look those…Continue
** If I ever turn up missing, a vineyard in Sonoma is most likely where you'll find me.
** My daughter thinks I was born in 1818. Seriously, she asked if that was my birth year. WTF?!
** Entirely too many people think they have the right of way.
** Elementary School Open House could also be referred to as Nuts on a Stick. …Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 24, 2012 at 8:09pm — No Comments
Don't you just love how candid kids can be? Especially when it comes at your own personal expense? Just think how awesome it would be if, as adults, we could say exactly what we think and have people chuckle and say how darn cute we are. Unfortunately, however, we'd most likely end up getting our asses kicked and be unfriended by every single person we know on Facebook.
Luckily, for my daughter, it's still pretty hilarious when she asks me why my boobs aren't "as big as…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 23, 2012 at 9:22am — No Comments
** A lovely Valentine's morning can quickly turn to a red and pink poop storm when you're a parent.
** If the smell of your own morning breath is making you gag, you know it's time to brush those pearly whites.
** I always seem to park in the spot where some lazy jackhole has left his unreturned shopping cart.
** Cookie bouquets…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 18, 2012 at 11:53am — No Comments
Parenthood, we have a problem. My sweet baby girl has gone off the deep end. Even though she's only eight years old, I'm seriously considering enrolling her in Maury Povich's boot camp. Or a chain gang. Or both. Cause seriously? This shit's gotta stop. The kid has been sent to the principal's office not once but TWICE in one week, and one of those times was on…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 15, 2012 at 1:27pm — No Comments