Jennifer Marshall's Blog Posts Tagged 'moms' (177)

Crazy Aaron Can Suck It

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I've always been of the opinion that Play-Doh, Silly Putty, and all things gooey should be "outside" toys.  They just always seem to crumble into little bits all over the floor for someone's feet to drag throughout the entire damn house.  And this is EXACTLY why I should have known better than to allow my children to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 30, 2014 at 10:18am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week



** A backyard campout for the kids is so much more fun when it’s in someone else’sbackyard.



** Facebook should really be called…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 26, 2014 at 12:39am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** It's evidently mating season for a-holes.



** If I never go to the U.S. Post Office again, it'll be too soon.



** Summer needs to just…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 19, 2014 at 12:24am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week



** June somehow pulled a giant disappearing act on us.



** The more laundry I have to fold, the more I dream about becoming a nudist…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 4, 2014 at 8:04pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week



** Mother Nature seems to have Chicago and San Francisco confused.



** Every time I go to CVS, the receipt is longer than the Great…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 27, 2014 at 5:44pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Cooking would be so much more enjoyable if someone did it for me.



** No matter the question, duct tape is ALWAYS the answer.



** I'm apparently a…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 20, 2014 at 1:23pm — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Week

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** It takes a village.  To raise a husband.



** The world is way too incredibly full of itself.



** Surprisingly, it's been 20 years since OJ got away…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 13, 2014 at 5:42pm — No Comments

End of the School Year Madness

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Maybe it's just me, but the end of the school year always seems to bring with it a boatload of unwanted stress.  Finding a "place" for all the papers that are sent home, trying not to drown in the flood of never-ending emails, buying the gazillion and one thank you gifts -- IT NEVER EVER…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 12, 2014 at 4:02pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The end-of-the-school-year craziness must surely subtract five years off a mom's life.



** I am sooooooooo done with the packing of the lunches.



**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 6, 2014 at 7:34pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Onions are NOT my friend.



** Every time I see a Smart Car, I can't help but giggle.



** Being in three different places at one…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 30, 2014 at 4:40pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** If you take up two parking spaces, you shouldn't be surprised when you're door-dinged.



** Putting my husband in charge of homework supervision is like putting my kids in charge of homework supervision.…



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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 23, 2014 at 4:27pm — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Week

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** EVERY day should be Mother's Day.  Because obviously.



** Donald Sterling makes me feel a whole lot better about the…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 16, 2014 at 1:31pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** I constantly feel like I'm forgetting to do something.



** And most likely, I am.



** In my next life, I'm coming back as a…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 9, 2014 at 1:08pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The world needs more creative photobombers.



** If you drive like Mario Andretti through a parking lot full of kids, you're a giant jackass.



** Winter is…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 2, 2014 at 10:14am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Goatdog likes wine, which makes total sense since he is my dog.



** If it's not written down, it's not getting done.…



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Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 18, 2014 at 10:22am — No Comments

Happy Birthday to Me

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Cue the red carpet, marching band, and fireworks, y'all, cause today is my birthday! Yippee!  But let's be real here, people -- I'm a mom, and we all know what that means. I'll be schlepping screaming kids from Point A to Point B, scrubbing skid marks out of little undies, and turning to my friend Google to help…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 16, 2014 at 10:32am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Jet lag is not really the vacation souvenir I had in mind.



** Even the eyes in the back of my head have bags underneath them.



** Just…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 11, 2014 at 10:21am — No Comments

They Don't Call It the Red Eye for Nothin'

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If your husband tries to talk you into flying the red-eye with your kids at the end of a family vacation, don't fall for it.  He may try to reassure you that your kids will sleep on the plane, and all will be fine.  But trust me, it will be anything but fine.  And the only person who will be sleeping on the plane will be your…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 10, 2014 at 1:17pm — No Comments

The Grocery Store: Gathering Place for Jackholes

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Going to the grocery store is definitely not my idea of a good time.  Sure it's nice when your kids are FINALLY old enough that you don't have to drag them with you every time you need to run out for a loaf of bread.  A few minutes of alone time can do wonders for the sanity.  However, a quick trip to the store can very…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 26, 2014 at 2:01pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Winter is officially "over" -- and I'll believe it when I see it.



** The Tooth Fairy's gonna have to start leaving IOU's if my twins don't go to bed earlier at night.…



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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 21, 2014 at 10:14am — No Comments

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