** Santa needs to be A LOT more organized next year.
** I may never see my son again now that Wii U is hooked up in the basement.
** Goatdog REALLY likes to open presents. Especially ones that don't belong to him.
** When it snows, everyone seems to have forgotten how to drive.
** Teepeeing the inside of your house…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 28, 2012 at 5:39pm — No Comments
** Those sneaky Mayans were totally effing with us all along. I knew it!!!!
** December is one giant money suck.
** Our Elf on the Shelf would be a lot more welcome here if he wrapped presents and actually did "elf" shit.
** Taking a shower lately is definitely a luxury.
** Living next to a house being torn…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 21, 2012 at 11:20am — No Comments
** The clothes get a whole lot cleaner when you actually push the START button on the washing machine.
** If I had a dollar for every time my house is quiet, I still wouldn't have any money in my wallet.
** Sometimes being responsible is such a pain in my irresponsible ass.
** Adult-sized bodies do NOT fit in…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 14, 2012 at 3:00pm — No Comments
** If I ever turn up missing, a vineyard in Sonoma is most likely where you'll find me.
** My daughter thinks I was born in 1818. Seriously, she asked if that was my birth year. WTF?!
** Entirely too many people think they have the right of way.
** Elementary School Open House could also be referred to as Nuts on a Stick. …Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 24, 2012 at 8:09pm — No Comments
** My ass is sure not a fan of sitting for six or more hours at a time.
** Grocery shopping on the eve of any given holiday is for masochists and crazy people.
** A giant cardboard box is the greatest toy you could give a kid.
** Comic books (ahem, "graphic novels") have completely consumed my husband.
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 25, 2011 at 12:04pm — No Comments
When your kids are eerily quiet for any extended period of time, nine times out of ten it's because they're trying to burn your house down. But every once in a blue moon, the stars all align, and the pip squeaks somehow actually manage to..... *gasp*..... play quite nicely together. Sure, you might have to pay them for that momentary bit of peace and quiet, but we…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 26, 2011 at 11:16am — No Comments