** Summer really needs a speeding ticket.

** Inspirational quotes do nothing but piss me off when I'm in a crabby mood.

** The Olympics have evidently convinced my kids that there's a vault in our second floor hallway.  (And I assure you there is not.)

** My brain has a serious case of the farts lately.

** The top of…

Transitioning back into a working mom came with a few obstacles.  Child care was the biggest one I had to overcome.  We no longer live close to family so searching for the right person to watch my only child with the schedule I have took plenty of patience and persistence.  I thought I was good to go.  I had a full time day care center for the week and someone else for the weekends.  What I didn't think of was who to turn to during unexpected times when either of those two options were…

** I'm the only one here that seems to know that the floor is not a trash can.

** Shrinky Dinks may be the dumbest art project ever invented.

** I really don't need to know WHY there's a streak of poo on the side of the toilet.

** "Make Your Own Pizza Night" is really just my way of saying, "Fix Your Own Damn…

When I put my husband in charge of getting the kids somewhere, I can generally expect for at least a handful of important things to be completely forgotten.  Try as he might, he just doesn't run through any sort of mental checklist before he races out the door.  In fact, he's done this ever since the twins were little tiny babies, often leaving the house without so much as a…

As soon as we take on the task of minding children whether we birth them or simply become their caregivers you will always have an involuntary knee jerk reaction of trying to catch them during a fall. When they are really little you will actually dive for them but when you are sitting across a table from a 6 foot + 21 yo who has just suffered his first heartbreak you will feel that same gut wrenching twist and you will wish that you really could make it better with a Ninja Turtle Band-Aid…

** I am a chocolate chip cookie whore.

** Sinus headaches and motherhood go together about as well as flannel pajamas go with humidity.

** Meal plans that don't include chocolate or wine are clearly not the plans for me.

** Finding a store that still sells Excedrin Migraine is like finding the pot of gold at the end of a…

I picked my daughter up from day care yesterday and was my daughter crying.  One of the girls had just pushed her at the playground before I walk in.  A few days before I was called at work and told my daughter fell off a bridge onto the concrete face first.  Today I watched the same girl push her down.  I know they are toddlers and they can be prone to hitting and pushing from their raging emotions. (rolls eyes) …

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I am more than grateful for the genius who came up with the idea for summer camp.  Cause if my kids didn't have somewhere to go each and every day?  They would surely have killed each other by now.  However, as much as I like the idea…

As a parent you question how you are raising your child and you hope at the end of this journey your child grows up to be a well adjusted, contributing member of society.  My child didn't arrive with an instruction booklet or a pair of glasses the see into the future.  So I don't know if what I'm doing now will result in a positive thing or negative thing.  My daughter is going to turn 2 in two months and she is a Toddler with a capital "T".   There are days that she makes me so frustrated…

** My kids find dirt faster than a junkie finds smack.

** Movie popcorn always seems like a good idea at the time.

** A jackhammer at a Metallica concert would be quieter than some of the carpools I've driven.

** Canker sores and teeth are a HORRIBLE combination.

** The a-hole who's been trying to hack into…

What a Mom will do nowadays to help support and raise a child is much different than in years past when all one had to do was feed and diaper a child. The rest was just left to chance. It occurred to me this week as we are preparing (at my house) for ACT prep testing that there may be many of you who have not been down this road yet. As parents we must pick the right pre-preschool. This sets the whole education resume. One cannot have a bad Pre preschool experience otherwise it is homeless,…

One of my absolute favorite things to do with my kids is to read to them.  Since I happen to have a borderline obsession with children's books, I get absolutely giddy when they want to share in my love of literature.   That's why the bedtime story is one of my most treasured times of the day -- that is, until one of my twins decides to moon me right in the freakin' middle of…

Toddlers are climbers, jumpers, runners and miniature daredevils.  Fortunately, they approach each new adventure with a fearless attitude.  How else will our mini me's master all the things their bodies can do.  On the other hand that fearless attitude can put our hearts in our throats each and every time we see where their antics leads them.

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My daughter is going on three in two months.  Holy cow where did the time go!  Meal time up until this point has always but a struggle.  She was a very picky eater.  Yes, I just said WAS!  I don't know what changed but she eats almost everything I put down in front of her.  There are some things I still need to be creative with like vegetables.  It just hit me tonight how good her appetite has become.  Not only are her portion sizes getting larger but she's also asking for more snacks in…

There are times when nothing I do seems to work with my toddler.  It's as though as her confidence grows so does her willingness to talk back.  I'll be the first to admit that I'm no expert at discipline.  I just try my best to reinforce consequences for bad behavior.  Izzy can throw a tantrum like the best of them with the tears, the screaming and even flailing legs for an added affect.  That said I still think that generally Izzy is pretty well…

There are times when nothing I do seems to work with my toddler.  It's as though as her confidence grows so does her willingness to talk back.  I'll be the first to admit that I'm no expert at discipline.  I just try my best to reinforce consequences for bad behavior.  Izzy can throw a tantrum like the best of them with the tears, the screaming and even flailing legs for an added affect.  That said I still think that generally Izzy is pretty well…