Cue the red carpet, marching band, and fireworks, y'all, cause today is my birthday! Yippee! But let's be real here, people -- I'm a mom, and we all know what that means. I'll be schlepping screaming kids from Point A to Point B, scrubbing skid marks out of little undies, and turning to my friend Google to help…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 16, 2014 at 10:32am — No Comments
I originally posted this a few years ago, but it's definitely one that I like to pull out of the vault again at holiday time. Cause it's about liquor. And who DOESN'T need a cup of cheerful something or other at this time of the year??!!
You know it's gonna be a good day when you're strolling through the wine aisle at the grocery store on a random…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 11, 2013 at 5:00pm — No Comments
Ok, yeah, I'll admit that my husband and I may have rock, paper, scissored our way through some of more undesirable aspects of parenting our twins. (I'm pretty sure we're not the only ones who do this either.) Because, sometimes, it just doesn't really make sense for BOTH of us to jump into a crappy situation. For…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 27, 2013 at 10:44am — No Comments
It's hard to believe that ten whole years have passed since I was squeezing my legs together like a freaking vice so my twins wouldn't be born on my birthday. Yep, call me crazy, but I did NOT wanna have to share the same b-day as my kiddos. I mean, seriously, moms get so few days of recognition as it is!…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 17, 2013 at 12:14pm — No Comments
** Parking garages continue to both piss me off and freak me out.
** Men are by far THE biggest babies when they're sick.
** Taking a shower is really just a whole lotta work.
** My house looks like we had a major party here. Which would be awesome if we'd had a major party here.
** Auto-pilot is a…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 28, 2012 at 2:08pm — No Comments
** Summer really needs a speeding ticket.
** Inspirational quotes do nothing but piss me off when I'm in a crabby mood.
** The Olympics have evidently convinced my kids that there's a vault in our second floor hallway. (And I assure you there is not.)
** My brain has a serious case of the farts lately.
** The top of…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 3, 2012 at 10:53am — No Comments
My kids are getting to that dreaded age where every flippin' weekend they beg for a sleepover. As soon as school gets out on Friday, they start hittin' me up for a party in their pj's. And I don't know about you, but I am not a big fan of the sleepover, mainly because it ends up biting ME in the ass the next day.
Now my son is not really the issue, since he…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 23, 2012 at 3:39pm — No Comments
The other day I sent out a tweet that could quite possibly be misconstrued as naughty by nature -- I said something to the effect of "My husband's Jolly Juice is a-flowing". Now many of you may have thought that this was some sort of sexual reference (cause let's be honest, usually it is), but surprisingly, this time, it was actually a very innocent comment referring to a new cocktail recipe that I found recently and somehow persuaded my husband to whip up for our friends and…Continue
Once again one of my very favorite holidays has passed me by faster than I could say, "Boo!" Yes, Halloween has come and gone and left me with a massive candy overdose. I seriously don't think I'll be able to look at a Twix bar the same without puking ever again (at least not until next week anyway). The festive weekend was certainly chalked full of all kinds of fun while it lasted though.
It all started with our annual adults-only costume party, which…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 2, 2011 at 12:37pm — No Comments
To some people, this necklace might look like something the Malibu Barbie serial killer would wear. But to MY group of friends? Well, this fine piece of craftsmanship is something to be treasured -- at least until you anonymously pass it along to the next unsuspecting girl.
It all started last year when it was used as a prop in a very creative…Continue
It's a dirty job, but, unfortunately, somebody's gotta do it. And this weekend? Well, I was the one who got stuck being the bad cop. Cause short people lying straight to my face is just not something that I take too lightly.
It all went down on Sunday, which was an unfortunate flurry of activity around here with the kids coming off the high…Continue