Jennifer Marshall's Blog Posts Tagged 'school' (61)

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The first day of school is a blessing like no other.



** Homework's about to unleash its evil wrath upon us very, very soon.



**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 29, 2014 at 12:45pm — No Comments

Crazy Aaron Can Suck It

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I've always been of the opinion that Play-Doh, Silly Putty, and all things gooey should be "outside" toys.  They just always seem to crumble into little bits all over the floor for someone's feet to drag throughout the entire damn house.  And this is EXACTLY why I should have known better than to allow my children to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 30, 2014 at 10:18am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week



** A backyard campout for the kids is so much more fun when it’s in someone else’sbackyard.



** Facebook should really be called…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 26, 2014 at 12:39am — No Comments

End of the School Year Madness

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Maybe it's just me, but the end of the school year always seems to bring with it a boatload of unwanted stress.  Finding a "place" for all the papers that are sent home, trying not to drown in the flood of never-ending emails, buying the gazillion and one thank you gifts -- IT NEVER EVER…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 12, 2014 at 4:02pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The end-of-the-school-year craziness must surely subtract five years off a mom's life.



** I am sooooooooo done with the packing of the lunches.



**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 6, 2014 at 7:34pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Onions are NOT my friend.



** Every time I see a Smart Car, I can't help but giggle.



** Being in three different places at one…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 30, 2014 at 4:40pm — No Comments

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

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I honestly don't know where the time has gone, but apparently, I blinked, and my kids are old enough to have the "sex talk" in school.  I know -- crazy, right??!!!!  Yep, the wonder of the ol' reproductive system has currently been the hot topic of fifth grade…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 6, 2014 at 10:03am — No Comments

Suck It, Mother Nature

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I'd always thought that Mother Nature and I kind of had a connection -- you know with the whole "mother" thing and all.  But I'm really starting to think that she's falsely assumed her title because no mama in her right mind would make it so damn cold outside that kids are off school and trapped indoors for days on…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 29, 2014 at 10:20am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Cancer is a giant, life-stealing asshole.

**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 10, 2014 at 5:19pm — No Comments

A Polar Vortex Punch of Reality

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Coming back from a family vacation is never a fun thing.  The packing, the travel, the crabby kids -- they all add up to one giant pain in the ass.  It pretty much makes you forget that you were even on vacation at all.  But this recent sucker punch back to reality after our New Year's trip to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 9, 2014 at 11:30am — No Comments

Texting with the Shorties

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As a parent, technology is often my worst enemy.  Not only does it turn my son into a zombified video game addict half the time, but it also gives me gray hairs worrying about the prospect of someone sending a damn naked picture to one of my middle schoolers.  (*Gasp!!!*)  However, I'm starting to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 18, 2013 at 12:12pm — No Comments

Trying to Keep My "Cool"

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I swear it wasn't that long ago that my kids wanted to do EVERYTHING with me.  But lately, I'm starting to realize that maybe I'm not quite as cool as I once thought I was.  (*What the hell?!!*)  Fifth grade is bringing on a whole new desire for independence, and friends are…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 20, 2013 at 10:58am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Complete strangers REALLY like to tell me the whole story of their lives, regardless of how horrifically TMI it might be.

** The "Mind Blowing Science Kit" is clearly an outside toy.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 25, 2013 at 4:23pm — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Week

** I might very well be the most unorganized person on the earth.

** Bite-sized candies can kiss (but not stick to) my ass.

** The only person who hates homework more…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 11, 2013 at 11:55am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** It's too bad "Dexter" didn't have an alternative ending to make up for the super sucky one they showed us last Sunday night.

** I keep waving the white flag, but…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 27, 2013 at 3:31pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to myself.  *itch*  *scratch* *sniff*

** Erectile dysfunction commercials make me really…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 13, 2013 at 1:13pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The first week of back-to-school mornings are nuttier than squirrel poop.

** Nobody appreciates bedtime more than a parent.

** Mom guilt sucker punches me…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 30, 2013 at 5:47pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The reinforcements are apparently not showing up any time soon.

** If I had a dollar for every time I've answered the "Why do I HAVE to take a shower?"…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 16, 2013 at 4:09pm — No Comments

Eavesdropping: One of the Few Benefits of Driving Carpool

When I'm driving around a carpool of screaming ten-year-old girls, it's sometimes hard not to wanna drive the car straight into Lake Michigan.  Seriously, these girls are capable of some severe damage to one's hearing (not to mention one's sanity).  However, one of the benefits of driving them around is that I get to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 7, 2013 at 5:08pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The revolving door of kids, dirt, and craziness must mean it's FINALLY Summer.

** Moms should get a cut of all lemonade stand profits.

** And somebody totally…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 14, 2013 at 7:06pm — No Comments

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