** I'm not sure why people are so surprised that a guy named "Weiner" likes to show off his junk.
** Goatdog drinks water like he's bobbing for apples.
** A good…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 26, 2013 at 5:11pm — No Comments
** Surprisingly, a quiet house kinda creeps me out.
** Mother Nature is a ruthless Bitch with a capital "B".
** "The Great Gatsby" was unfortunately not all that great.
** I would get lost inside a cardboard box. (No, seriously, how do I get out of this thing?)
** Grown men fighting in a bar is the…Continue
Today I decided to buy my kids alarm clocks. This wasn't a 'teach my children responsibility' purchase, it was more of a 'Let mommy sleep until 9am on the weekend PLEASE' kind of buy!Continue
Added by Ronda on May 26, 2013 at 1:00am — No Comments
For the past few nights, Squeaker has slept in 5+ hour stretches! Pre-baby, I did not understand how this could possibly be a good thing, but after months of uncomfortable pregnancy sleep and 10 weeks of being in various states of consciousness–I feel like I’ve won the lottery! I have found sleep to be one of the most contentious topics in new mom land. Where does he sleep? Where do I sleep? Where does dad sleep? Is it okay for him to sleep in a chair? Can he sleep swaddled? Is he…Continue
Added by Alex on March 18, 2013 at 8:08am — No Comments
One of the top New Year’s Resolutions has to be along the lines of losing weight, getting fit and eating healthier. We make these resolutions with the very best of intentions but then life gets in the way. Our bosses need us to stay late at the office. The kids get sick. We stress about gathering our tax…Continue
Added by Penny Roach on February 18, 2013 at 6:51pm — No Comments
Sleeping when you are pregnant is often a challenge because as your belly grows you will become more and more uncomfortable. Most mom’s find it difficult to find a comfortable position to sleep in and if they are able to find a comfortable position they are up several times during the middle of the night…Continue
Added by Christy Garrett on February 18, 2013 at 4:31pm — No Comments
I apologize for being MIA on here lately, but unfortunately, my father had a bad stroke and was hospitalized. It's been pretty horrific to say the least, but rest assured, I HAVE been keeping a mental list of wacky things I've learned. And here they are:
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 15, 2013 at 10:36am — No Comments
You know how you had that one toy in your bedroom as a kid that kinda creeped you out once your parents turned out the lights and tucked you in for the night? Mine was a clown who I swear glared at me from his perch high up on my bookcase. (Special thanks to Poltergeist for that little childhood fear.) But now that I'm an adult (allegedly anyway), my daughter has…Continue
** Much to my surprise, the New Year's Day puker turned out to be neither my husband nor me, but rather, my daughter.
** There's just never enough sleep to go around.
** An overnight getaway would be cheaper than taking three kids to the movies.
** My son's decided to Gangnam Style his way throughout the day, all day, every…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 4, 2013 at 5:17pm — No Comments
It's never ever easy to be a parent, but man, some days are just harder than others, aren't they? And when you're dealing with an overtired child, you're pretty much fighting an unbeatable battle, like a kitten trying to hold its own against a wolverine. Yep, this is exactly how my week began yesterday (as if Mondays weren't bad enough already!)
It had been…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 16, 2012 at 12:10pm — No Comments
Added by Dvora Koelling on October 4, 2012 at 7:53pm — No Comments
** Parking garages continue to both piss me off and freak me out.
** Men are by far THE biggest babies when they're sick.
** Taking a shower is really just a whole lotta work.
** My house looks like we had a major party here. Which would be awesome if we'd had a major party here.
** Auto-pilot is a…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 28, 2012 at 2:08pm — No Comments
** My allergies are acting crazier than Dina Lohan lately.
** Sand in my toes = good. Sand in my teeth = not so good.
** Processing a thought in this…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 21, 2012 at 11:05am — No Comments
So last night I had another one of my crazy pants pregnancy dream nights, where I basically felt submerged in a David Lynchian world for the eight hours I was in bed. Now normally, I wouldn’t mind being stuck in a wonder world of red velvet curtains and ambient noise-music, but the dreams I was…Continue
Added by Dvora Koelling on July 19, 2012 at 4:50pm — No Comments
** Octomom doing porn is the same as an old man doing naked jumping jacks — NOBODYwants to see that shit!!!!!
** Hearing your kids tell you that you’re beautiful is one of the greatest perks of parenting.
** Morgan Freeman…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 22, 2012 at 2:41pm — No Comments
Let me start out by saying that I'm in no way claiming to be super mom or that I have it all together because I don't.
I have however, found an idea that works for our bedtime routine. I thought it might be helpful for other parents who also struggle with the challenge of wanting to end your…Continue
Added by Adventure Mom on June 7, 2012 at 3:39pm — No Comments
** Bras and humidity go together about as well as politicians and honesty.
** 7:30 AM is way too early for drama.
** It wouldn't surprise me in the least if my kids' heads spun around while they spit green pea soup at me.
** Spring baseball in Chicago can suck it.
** My imaginary housekeeper seems to have gone…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 4, 2012 at 10:45am — No Comments
** It honestly wouldn't surprise me if I pulled a piece of Easter grass out of my ass at this point since that crap seems to be EVERYWHERE!!!!
** If you're a complete and total bitch, you should probably think twice about being a customer service rep. Just sayin'.
** Motherhood is totally interfering with my "Fifty Shades of Grey"…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 13, 2012 at 11:36am — No Comments
Bedtime with my twinks continues to reach an all-time low around here. Every flippin' night I threaten to sell 'em off in a 2-for-1 special at a garage sale. Cause seriously, why did I have to be the one to give birth to the sleepless wonder twins? I say it's high time I open up a can of 'Serious As A Heart Attack' and take back my nightly mother effin' me-time. So, here's the equation that I hereby propose:…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 7, 2012 at 10:55am — No Comments
I remember the days and nights well. My baby would not sleep. Oh, let me clarify. He would sleep but for about 3 hours at a time. That meant right when mama was about to drift to that happy place of deep restore-my-sanity sleep, baby would start crying. I made a promise after I got through that phase I would do whatever I could to help other new parents. Hence, my new blog http://parentsdesk.com was created.
This week I'm starting a…Continue
Added by ParentsDesk on February 17, 2012 at 10:42pm — No Comments