You know how you had that one toy in your bedroom as a kid that kinda creeped you out once your parents turned out the lights and tucked you in for the night? Mine was a clown who I swear glared at me from his perch high up on my bookcase. (Special thanks to Poltergeist for that little childhood fear.) But now that I'm an adult (allegedly anyway), my daughter has…Continue
** Much to my surprise, the New Year's Day puker turned out to be neither my husband nor me, but rather, my daughter.
** There's just never enough sleep to go around.
** An overnight getaway would be cheaper than taking three kids to the movies.
** My son's decided to Gangnam Style his way throughout the day, all day, every…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 4, 2013 at 5:17pm — No Comments
It's never ever easy to be a parent, but man, some days are just harder than others, aren't they? And when you're dealing with an overtired child, you're pretty much fighting an unbeatable battle, like a kitten trying to hold its own against a wolverine. Yep, this is exactly how my week began yesterday (as if Mondays weren't bad enough already!)
It had been…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 16, 2012 at 12:10pm — No Comments
Added by Dvora Koelling on October 4, 2012 at 7:53pm — No Comments
** Parking garages continue to both piss me off and freak me out.
** Men are by far THE biggest babies when they're sick.
** Taking a shower is really just a whole lotta work.
** My house looks like we had a major party here. Which would be awesome if we'd had a major party here.
** Auto-pilot is a…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 28, 2012 at 2:08pm — No Comments
** My allergies are acting crazier than Dina Lohan lately.
** Sand in my toes = good. Sand in my teeth = not so good.
** Processing a thought in this…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 21, 2012 at 11:05am — No Comments
So last night I had another one of my crazy pants pregnancy dream nights, where I basically felt submerged in a David Lynchian world for the eight hours I was in bed. Now normally, I wouldn’t mind being stuck in a wonder world of red velvet curtains and ambient noise-music, but the dreams I was…Continue
Added by Dvora Koelling on July 19, 2012 at 4:50pm — No Comments
** Octomom doing porn is the same as an old man doing naked jumping jacks — NOBODYwants to see that shit!!!!!
** Hearing your kids tell you that you’re beautiful is one of the greatest perks of parenting.
** Morgan Freeman…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 22, 2012 at 2:41pm — No Comments
Let me start out by saying that I'm in no way claiming to be super mom or that I have it all together because I don't.
I have however, found an idea that works for our bedtime routine. I thought it might be helpful for other parents who also struggle with the challenge of wanting to end your…Continue
Added by Adventure Mom on June 7, 2012 at 3:39pm — No Comments
** Bras and humidity go together about as well as politicians and honesty.
** 7:30 AM is way too early for drama.
** It wouldn't surprise me in the least if my kids' heads spun around while they spit green pea soup at me.
** Spring baseball in Chicago can suck it.
** My imaginary housekeeper seems to have gone…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 4, 2012 at 10:45am — No Comments
** It honestly wouldn't surprise me if I pulled a piece of Easter grass out of my ass at this point since that crap seems to be EVERYWHERE!!!!
** If you're a complete and total bitch, you should probably think twice about being a customer service rep. Just sayin'.
** Motherhood is totally interfering with my "Fifty Shades of Grey"…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 13, 2012 at 11:36am — No Comments
Bedtime with my twinks continues to reach an all-time low around here. Every flippin' night I threaten to sell 'em off in a 2-for-1 special at a garage sale. Cause seriously, why did I have to be the one to give birth to the sleepless wonder twins? I say it's high time I open up a can of 'Serious As A Heart Attack' and take back my nightly mother effin' me-time. So, here's the equation that I hereby propose:…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 7, 2012 at 10:55am — No Comments
I remember the days and nights well. My baby would not sleep. Oh, let me clarify. He would sleep but for about 3 hours at a time. That meant right when mama was about to drift to that happy place of deep restore-my-sanity sleep, baby would start crying. I made a promise after I got through that phase I would do whatever I could to help other new parents. Hence, my new blog http://parentsdesk.com was created.
This week I'm starting a…Continue
Added by ParentsDesk on February 17, 2012 at 10:42pm — No Comments
In case you’re wondering why I look a little taller today, it’s because I’m standing on my mommy soap box. Check out Mommy DIY if you don’t want to read my statement, otherwise, read on.
I want to be a good mom, I really do, but I have no idea what I am doing! While I was pregnant I studied parenting literature, questioned other moms, and prepared myself for baby. Lately, people just tell me what to do when I’m…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on February 2, 2012 at 3:52pm — No Comments
** Your cabin fever's reached Code Red when you're jealous of the squirrels outside breathing in all that fresh, freezing cold air.
** Trying to work a crossword puzzle when you're tired just makes you feel stupid. And tired.
** I've washed my hands so many times over the past few days that I may no longer have fingerprints.
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 27, 2012 at 10:32am — No Comments
By: Jennifer S.
I was the first of my family and friends to have a baby last year during the baby boom. Cousins were pregnant, co-workers were pregnant, friends were pregnant, even famous people who are significantly older than me were pregnant. I began to suspect babies aren’t really made the way my mother told me. I think sometimes you can get pregnant from drinking water.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on January 26, 2012 at 11:59am — No Comments
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the dreadful toll motherhood has taken on my sleeping patterns. Little by little, I'm starting to realize that this sleep deprivation shit is just a never-ending, vicious cycle that nobody ever REALLY tells you about. Evidently, it never really goes away but just presents itself in different forms along the way, starting from the time…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 25, 2012 at 10:17am — No Comments
My son doesn’t have a Jack-in-the-box. Excuse me while I pause and breathe a sigh of relief.
But what does alarm me are the toys that play music, light up, or have some other battery operated function… especially at 3 am.
If you’re a mom it’s not hard to imagine that 3 am wake-up call from your child. You hear a small sound coming from the baby monitor and hope it doesn’t become a bigger more upset sound. But the moans and groans become a cry and you accept your fate (if you…Continue
Added by Jennifer Stauffer on January 14, 2012 at 7:10pm — No Comments
Added by Tawna Richard on December 6, 2011 at 5:30pm — No Comments
I am awake, by myself, because I can be.
Added by Tawna Richard on December 5, 2011 at 2:02pm — No Comments