** Those sneaky Mayans were totally effing with us all along. I knew it!!!!
** December is one giant money suck.
** Our Elf on the Shelf would be a lot more welcome here if he wrapped presents and actually did "elf" shit.
** Taking a shower lately is definitely a luxury.
** Living next to a house being torn…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 21, 2012 at 11:20am — No Comments
** 'Tis the season to be an asshole. Apparently.
** I am not the Energizer Bunny.
** The Elf on the Shelf might very well be my nemesis.
** Anything that's lost is very likely at the bottom of my son's backpack.
** I should really write a country song cause I've got the homework blues.
** Leaving your…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 8, 2012 at 2:04pm — No Comments
If I could take myself into a dark alley and kick my own ass, I totally would cause I seriously dropped the parenting ball the other night (once again). Yes, I completely failed my duty as the Tooth Fairy, y'all. Now I know that plenty of people have said that they, too, have forgotten a tooth here and there, but I swore that I would never…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 5, 2012 at 3:00pm — No Comments
** It honestly wouldn't surprise me if I pulled a piece of Easter grass out of my ass at this point since that crap seems to be EVERYWHERE!!!!
** If you're a complete and total bitch, you should probably think twice about being a customer service rep. Just sayin'.
** Motherhood is totally interfering with my "Fifty Shades of Grey"…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 13, 2012 at 11:36am — No Comments
** Skid marks can suck it.
** If you can drive five REALLY loud eight-year-old girls without wrecking the car, you can do just about anything.
** I think I'm gonna make it easier on myself and just give everyone access to my bank account this Christmas.
** Stupidity is what makes the world go round (or at least it seems…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 9, 2011 at 11:19am — No Comments
WARNING: ** Look away if you don't like an occasional f-bomb every now and then. Cause in this case? It just couldn't be helped. (Sorry, Mom and Dad....) **
Every year our "Elf on the Shelf" tradition brings me a combination of both…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 7, 2011 at 10:21am — No Comments
** Every time I try to be the early bird, my kids have already beaten me to the damn worm.
** The apple doesn't fall far from the tree since my son evidently also writes "notes to self".
** I'm a little obsessed with Thymes Frasier Fir line for the holidays.
**After living with a…Continue