** "Take a nap" keeps getting bumped off my to-do list for some reason.
** My family is an all-you-can-eat buffet for the multiplying mosquitoes in our neighborhood.…
** Onions are NOT my friend.
** Every time I see a Smart Car, I can't help but giggle.
** Being in three different places at one…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 30, 2014 at 4:40pm — No Comments
When I put my husband in charge of getting the kids somewhere, I can generally expect for at least a handful of important things to be completely forgotten. Try as he might, he just doesn't run through any sort of mental checklist before he races out the door. In fact, he's done this ever since the twins were little tiny babies, often leaving the house without so much as a…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 24, 2012 at 10:14am — No Comments
** If I had a dollar for every item on my to-do list, I could pay someone to do all the items on my to-do list.
** I'd like to punch my 40-year-old hormones in the face.
** Bringing a bag of Starburst into this house is like tossing a chicken into a lion's den.
** The penis enlargement emails I keep getting are totally helpful for…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 1, 2012 at 12:02pm — No Comments
** These people are driving me nuts. And by people, I mean my family.
** Holiday shoppers are complete assholes.
** My to-do list is evidently not gonna write itself.
** It's also not going to do itself either.
** Cleaning is clearly a complete waste of my time.
** There's something pretty freaking…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 23, 2011 at 1:24pm — No Comments
** Kids pick the most awesomely inopportune times to take a dump.
** Summer = an impromptu game of kick-the-can on a random Monday night.
** Goatdog is about to become a street dog.
** I wouldn't do well in that Little House on the Prairie.
** If Tuesday and Wednesday had a Facebook page, I would NOT…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 29, 2011 at 1:11pm — No Comments