I've always been of the opinion that Play-Doh, Silly Putty, and all things gooey should be "outside" toys. They just always seem to crumble into little bits all over the floor for someone's feet to drag throughout the entire damn house. And this is EXACTLY why I should have known better than to allow my children to…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 30, 2014 at 10:18am — No Comments
You know how you had that one toy in your bedroom as a kid that kinda creeped you out once your parents turned out the lights and tucked you in for the night? Mine was a clown who I swear glared at me from his perch high up on my bookcase. (Special thanks to Poltergeist for that little childhood fear.) But now that I'm an adult (allegedly anyway), my daughter has…Continue
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through our pad,
Every creature was stirring, being exceptionally bad.
The stockings were hung too close to the floor,
And Goatdog was eating each one that he tore.
The twins were bouncing off the walls in their…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 22, 2011 at 5:22pm — No Comments
** Skid marks can suck it.
** If you can drive five REALLY loud eight-year-old girls without wrecking the car, you can do just about anything.
** I think I'm gonna make it easier on myself and just give everyone access to my bank account this Christmas.
** Stupidity is what makes the world go round (or at least it seems…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 9, 2011 at 11:19am — No Comments
Dear Liquor Store,
Perhaps you may have heard some rumblings about the impending summer vacation that's about to pounce on the town here any day now. Yes, kids will soon be out terrorizing the streets and pimping lemonade hardcore on every effing corner. They will be changing their clothes 357 times a day, thereby creating even more…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 19, 2011 at 3:35pm — No Comments