** There's nothing like having your kids barge into your bathroom and present you with a Valentine while you're standing there buck naked.…
** I am an extremely underpaid entertainment coordinator.
** Nobody wins when Mama oversleeps on a school…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 6, 2015 at 12:03am — No Comments
** Daytime t.v. brings with it some seriously disturbing commercials.
** My kids are probably hungry all the time because…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 30, 2015 at 3:11pm — No Comments
** Short weeks make you feel like every day is Friday.
** They also make you angry to find out that every day is not, in…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 23, 2015 at 7:40pm — No Comments
** It's hard to play Dr. Kevorkian, even to a Beta fish who's dying a very slow death.
** Helping with Spanish homework when you don't speak a lick of Spanish is like trying to cook a gourmet meal when you can't even boil…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 16, 2015 at 12:04pm — No Comments
** I'm not buying whatever Mother Nature is selling.
** My transformation from human to crocodile is nearly complete,…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 9, 2015 at 3:45pm — No Comments
** 'Tis the season to feel like a walking ATM.
** If you're a fan of torturing yourself, I highly recommend going to the mall two weekends before Christmas.…
** If my kids overflow one more toilet around here, they're getting an outhouse for Christmas.
** I could really use an…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 12, 2014 at 12:13pm — No Comments
** I'm not sure what's disappearing faster around here -- my money or our iPhone chargers.…
** This time of the year makes me so very grateful for my beloved hot glue gun.
** I may steal the dog crate from the dog -- it just looks so darn PRIVATE in there.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 24, 2014 at 3:07pm — No Comments
** I am totally addicted to selling crap on virtual garage sale sites.
** Finding a CLEAN gas station bathroom is like finding a unicorn.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 10, 2014 at 1:46pm — No Comments
** My house is a revolving door of loud, screeching short people. (And I kind of love it.)
** Wearing a dress AND a bra all in one day is quite an accomplishment.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 19, 2014 at 3:04pm — No Comments
** A backyard campout for the kids is so much more fun when it’s in someone else’sbackyard.
** Facebook should really be called…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 26, 2014 at 12:39am — No Comments
** It takes a village. To raise a husband.
** The world is way too incredibly full of itself.
** Surprisingly, it's been 20 years since OJ got away…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 13, 2014 at 5:42pm — No Comments
Cue the red carpet, marching band, and fireworks, y'all, cause today is my birthday! Yippee! But let's be real here, people -- I'm a mom, and we all know what that means. I'll be schlepping screaming kids from Point A to Point B, scrubbing skid marks out of little undies, and turning to my friend Google to help…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 16, 2014 at 10:32am — No Comments
** Winter is officially "over" -- and I'll believe it when I see it.
** The Tooth Fairy's gonna have to start leaving IOU's if my twins don't go to bed earlier at night.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 21, 2014 at 10:14am — No Comments
** Parting your hair on the opposite side feels like wearing your shoes on the opposite feet.
** Siri evidently hates me.
** When your boy/girl twins share a bathroom, your…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 14, 2014 at 1:58pm — No Comments
I honestly don't know where the time has gone, but apparently, I blinked, and my kids are old enough to have the "sex talk" in school. I know -- crazy, right??!!!! Yep, the wonder of the ol' reproductive system has currently been the hot topic of fifth grade…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 6, 2014 at 10:03am — No Comments
My kids have always LOVED commercials. Maybe it's because their dad works in advertising, or maybe it's because, unlike me, they never ever get tired of hearing the "Flipeez" theme song that seems to play on repeat between shows. Whatever the case, when an ad pops up on the screen, my twins are completely riveted. So when a totally inappropriate commercial was shown during a KID movie on…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 25, 2014 at 11:12am — No Comments
** I wish my brain shut off as easily when I try to go to sleep as it does when I try to help my kids with their homework.
** Exhaustion is just NOT a good look on me.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 21, 2014 at 9:59am — No Comments