** 'Tis the season to feel like a walking ATM.
** If you're a fan of torturing yourself, I highly recommend going to the mall two weekends before Christmas.…
** If my kids overflow one more toilet around here, they're getting an outhouse for Christmas.
** I could really use an…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 12, 2014 at 12:13pm — No Comments
** I'm not sure what's disappearing faster around here -- my money or our iPhone chargers.…
** This time of the year makes me so very grateful for my beloved hot glue gun.
** I may steal the dog crate from the dog -- it just looks so darn PRIVATE in there.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 24, 2014 at 3:07pm — No Comments
** I am totally addicted to selling crap on virtual garage sale sites.
** Finding a CLEAN gas station bathroom is like finding a unicorn.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 10, 2014 at 1:46pm — No Comments
** My house is a revolving door of loud, screeching short people. (And I kind of love it.)
** Wearing a dress AND a bra all in one day is quite an accomplishment.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 19, 2014 at 3:04pm — No Comments
** A backyard campout for the kids is so much more fun when it’s in someone else’sbackyard.
** Facebook should really be called…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 26, 2014 at 12:39am — No Comments
** It takes a village. To raise a husband.
** The world is way too incredibly full of itself.
** Surprisingly, it's been 20 years since OJ got away…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 13, 2014 at 5:42pm — No Comments
Cue the red carpet, marching band, and fireworks, y'all, cause today is my birthday! Yippee! But let's be real here, people -- I'm a mom, and we all know what that means. I'll be schlepping screaming kids from Point A to Point B, scrubbing skid marks out of little undies, and turning to my friend Google to help…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 16, 2014 at 10:32am — No Comments
** Winter is officially "over" -- and I'll believe it when I see it.
** The Tooth Fairy's gonna have to start leaving IOU's if my twins don't go to bed earlier at night.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 21, 2014 at 10:14am — No Comments
** Parting your hair on the opposite side feels like wearing your shoes on the opposite feet.
** Siri evidently hates me.
** When your boy/girl twins share a bathroom, your…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 14, 2014 at 1:58pm — No Comments
I honestly don't know where the time has gone, but apparently, I blinked, and my kids are old enough to have the "sex talk" in school. I know -- crazy, right??!!!! Yep, the wonder of the ol' reproductive system has currently been the hot topic of fifth grade…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 6, 2014 at 10:03am — No Comments
My kids have always LOVED commercials. Maybe it's because their dad works in advertising, or maybe it's because, unlike me, they never ever get tired of hearing the "Flipeez" theme song that seems to play on repeat between shows. Whatever the case, when an ad pops up on the screen, my twins are completely riveted. So when a totally inappropriate commercial was shown during a KID movie on…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 25, 2014 at 11:12am — No Comments
** I wish my brain shut off as easily when I try to go to sleep as it does when I try to help my kids with their homework.
** Exhaustion is just NOT a good look on me.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 21, 2014 at 9:59am — No Comments
As a parent, we're often so used to running on autopilot that we rarely ever even stop to think about why we're doing something. We just continue to do it mindlessly, day after day after day. Take, for instance, the gazillion and one loads of never-ending laundry and the gazillion and one loads of multiplying…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 19, 2014 at 10:29am — No Comments
Remember that show, "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" Well, it turns out, I'm apparently not. You see, I happen to live with two of them, and I'm reminded of that fact nearly every friggin' night when I try to help them with their homework -- I swear we never learned ANY of this stuff until high…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 12, 2014 at 2:38pm — No Comments
** Next year, I really need some elves, dammit.
** My twins now have nicer phones than I do. Thanks, Santa.
** Candlelight church services with kids make…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 27, 2013 at 12:21pm — No Comments
Some of you may remember this post from a few years ago, and some of you may be reading it for the first time. Whatever the case, it was my own nucking futty spin on the classic tale of "The Night Before Christmas". If your holidays are anything like mine, you'll appreciate the recounting of a Christmas Eve that's not exactly what you might call picture-perfect.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 24, 2013 at 11:16am — No Comments
As a parent, technology is often my worst enemy. Not only does it turn my son into a zombified video game addict half the time, but it also gives me gray hairs worrying about the prospect of someone sending a damn naked picture to one of my middle schoolers. (*Gasp!!!*) However, I'm starting to…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 18, 2013 at 12:12pm — No Comments
Remember the good old days when your kids would be perfectly happy with the giant cardboard box their gifts came in? Give 'em some markers, and they were entertained for…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 5, 2013 at 6:00pm — No Comments