Cue the red carpet, marching band, and fireworks, y'all, cause today is my birthday! Yippee! But let's be real here, people -- I'm a mom, and we all know what that means. I'll be schlepping screaming kids from Point A to Point B, scrubbing skid marks out of little undies, and turning to my friend Google to help…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 16, 2014 at 10:32am — No Comments
** Winter is officially "over" -- and I'll believe it when I see it.
** The Tooth Fairy's gonna have to start leaving IOU's if my twins don't go to bed earlier at night.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 21, 2014 at 10:14am — No Comments
** Parting your hair on the opposite side feels like wearing your shoes on the opposite feet.
** Siri evidently hates me.
** When your boy/girl twins share a bathroom, your…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 14, 2014 at 1:58pm — No Comments
I honestly don't know where the time has gone, but apparently, I blinked, and my kids are old enough to have the "sex talk" in school. I know -- crazy, right??!!!! Yep, the wonder of the ol' reproductive system has currently been the hot topic of fifth grade…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 6, 2014 at 10:03am — No Comments
My kids have always LOVED commercials. Maybe it's because their dad works in advertising, or maybe it's because, unlike me, they never ever get tired of hearing the "Flipeez" theme song that seems to play on repeat between shows. Whatever the case, when an ad pops up on the screen, my twins are completely riveted. So when a totally inappropriate commercial was shown during a KID movie on…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 25, 2014 at 11:12am — No Comments
** I wish my brain shut off as easily when I try to go to sleep as it does when I try to help my kids with their homework.
** Exhaustion is just NOT a good look on me.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 21, 2014 at 9:59am — No Comments
As a parent, we're often so used to running on autopilot that we rarely ever even stop to think about why we're doing something. We just continue to do it mindlessly, day after day after day. Take, for instance, the gazillion and one loads of never-ending laundry and the gazillion and one loads of multiplying…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 19, 2014 at 10:29am — No Comments
Remember that show, "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" Well, it turns out, I'm apparently not. You see, I happen to live with two of them, and I'm reminded of that fact nearly every friggin' night when I try to help them with their homework -- I swear we never learned ANY of this stuff until high…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 12, 2014 at 2:38pm — No Comments
** Next year, I really need some elves, dammit.
** My twins now have nicer phones than I do. Thanks, Santa.
** Candlelight church services with kids make…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 27, 2013 at 12:21pm — No Comments
Some of you may remember this post from a few years ago, and some of you may be reading it for the first time. Whatever the case, it was my own nucking futty spin on the classic tale of "The Night Before Christmas". If your holidays are anything like mine, you'll appreciate the recounting of a Christmas Eve that's not exactly what you might call picture-perfect.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 24, 2013 at 11:16am — No Comments
As a parent, technology is often my worst enemy. Not only does it turn my son into a zombified video game addict half the time, but it also gives me gray hairs worrying about the prospect of someone sending a damn naked picture to one of my middle schoolers. (*Gasp!!!*) However, I'm starting to…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 18, 2013 at 12:12pm — No Comments
Remember the good old days when your kids would be perfectly happy with the giant cardboard box their gifts came in? Give 'em some markers, and they were entertained for…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 5, 2013 at 6:00pm — No Comments
Ok, yeah, I'll admit that my husband and I may have rock, paper, scissored our way through some of more undesirable aspects of parenting our twins. (I'm pretty sure we're not the only ones who do this either.) Because, sometimes, it just doesn't really make sense for BOTH of us to jump into a crappy situation. For…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 27, 2013 at 10:44am — No Comments
I swear it wasn't that long ago that my kids wanted to do EVERYTHING with me. But lately, I'm starting to realize that maybe I'm not quite as cool as I once thought I was. (*What the hell?!!*) Fifth grade is bringing on a whole new desire for independence, and friends are…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 20, 2013 at 10:58am — No Comments
** It's super fun when my twins come out of their rooms after 30 seconds and claim they can't go to sleep.
** Christmas is only six weeks away -- holy crapola!…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 15, 2013 at 12:52pm — No Comments
It's hard to believe that just a few short years ago, we were still able to give my twins a bath together -- boy parts, girl parts, all in the same tub. Sure, there may have been some occasional finger pointing, but they were able to peacefully sit side by side for the most part. Man, have times changed! It's becoming more and more…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 13, 2013 at 4:45pm — No Comments
** Homework is making me wanna stick my head in the oven. On convection.
** My children are certainly not winning any awards for getting ready for bed quickly.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 8, 2013 at 2:56pm — No Comments
I love to pass down to my daughter things that I used to have when I was a little girl. It's like I'm sharing a tiny piece of my history with her. For example, she has my old baby ring that she wears on a necklace, as well as some of my old baby clothes that she uses to dress up her stuffed animals. And recently, she hit the ultimate jackpot when my mom came across my old Raggedy Ann doll up in the attic. She was so excited to have…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 23, 2013 at 4:25pm — No Comments
** I could open a wig shop with all the hair in the drain.
** The cooler weather's giving me that "Holy-Crap-My-Twins-Have-No-Pants-That-Fit-Them" feeling.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 20, 2013 at 10:22am — No Comments
With life constantly throwing reminders at me that my kids are, in fact, growing up (cell phones, sleepovers, bike riding to school -- EEK!), I often get swept up in the everyday craziness of just trying to keep up with it all. Half the time they don't want to talk to me, let alone listen to me, and,…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 19, 2013 at 11:05am — No Comments