** Girls and drama go together like humidity and swass.
** Try as I may, I just don't have the moves like Jagger.
** It's best to look at the toilet seat before sitting down, at least in my house anyway.
** Clearly, my kids wait till I've just changed their sheets to pee the bed.
** Drinking cheap wine after having…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 29, 2012 at 2:05pm — No Comments
** Just so we're clear, I will still drink the wine if a fruit fly lands in my glass.
** The end of the school year is when all the crap that's been shoved into a tiny desk for nine months suddenly makes its way into your kitchen (or your trash).
** My son thinks I grew up in the early 1900's. Awesome.
** When you don't have…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 8, 2012 at 10:58am — No Comments
For a man, fatherhood can be one of the most blissful events in his life. That small bundle of joy that comes into his life not only brings with it great pleasures, but also adds a whole new dimension. While mothers are initially given all the special attention, the joy and the sacrifice of a father mostly goes unnoticed. So, to pay homage to all the men who are fathers or father figures, here is a Father’s Day gift guide flush of…
Added by The Succulent Wife on May 19, 2012 at 5:46pm — No Comments
** It honestly wouldn't surprise me if I pulled a piece of Easter grass out of my ass at this point since that crap seems to be EVERYWHERE!!!!
** If you're a complete and total bitch, you should probably think twice about being a customer service rep. Just sayin'.
** Motherhood is totally interfering with my "Fifty Shades of Grey"…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 13, 2012 at 11:36am — No Comments
** Sometimes turds just don't want to be flushed.
** I really really heart selling jewelry.
** It's a terribly bad idea to enter a bakery when you're starving.
** Trying to brush my daughter's hair in the morning is like trying to lasso a…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 6, 2012 at 10:46pm — No Comments
** My son likes to make his penis talk. (Don't ask.)
** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town.
** My kids wait to take a dump until it's time to walk out the door.
** This ass isn't gonna run itself off.
** You can never ever hug your kids too much.
** When life hands you…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 31, 2011 at 1:07pm — No Comments
I have several (unfortunate) pet peeves. Many of them are creeping up right around this time of year because they mostly revolve around the theme of entertaining and food service… For one, the idea of mistakenly drinking from someone else’s glass is extremely disturbing (eww, cooties) and second – but way more peeving: I CAN’T stand the thought of the nearly…
Added by The Succulent Wife on December 22, 2011 at 1:09pm — No Comments
** Every time I try to be the early bird, my kids have already beaten me to the damn worm.
** The apple doesn't fall far from the tree since my son evidently also writes "notes to self".
** I'm a little obsessed with Thymes Frasier Fir line for the holidays.
**After living with a…Continue
Is there a playdate addiction group somewhere? If so, then I'm totally sending these kids of mine. I'm tellin' you, these two short people are beyond obsessed with playdates all day, every day. Now some days, that can be a good thing (like when the playdate's at someone else's house, for example), but there are other days when I wanna kick the inventor of the playdate right…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 6, 2011 at 9:36am — No Comments
I don't know about you, but sometimes, I can't help but laugh my buns off when my kids are throwing an all-out fit. They just look so incredibly ridiculous to me as they're wailing and screaming and flailing themselves about the floor. In fact, I've even videotaped one of my daughter's tantrums to show her just what an asshole looks like in action. Of course, she doesn't find it…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 29, 2011 at 10:06am — No Comments
** Someone should come up with a Beano for brain farts.
** Motherhood is no place for migraines.
** Our water bill's gonna be $10,000 this month, thanks to my son's obsession with the hose.
** Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, is louder than the volume of a carpool of short people.
** Digging for your keys…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 12, 2011 at 8:53am — No Comments
These are the ladies
That went on a trip
To Go to the WineriesContinue
Added by Judy Newman on July 28, 2011 at 8:00pm — No Comments
** Cruise control scares the shit out of me.
** When you travel with kids, it's a trip. When you travel without them, it's a vacation.
** 99.9% of the water at water parks is a combination of urine and ick. Probably.
** Trying to get your kids to sleep at a water park is like trying to get a nun to pole…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 19, 2011 at 1:30pm — No Comments
I have a summer cold. It sucks.
I rarely get sick, but I guess my number came up and the Cold Fairy decided to whack me with her sick stick. Colds in the winter aren’t so bad, because you can curl up on the couch with hot tea and lemon and be miserable with yourself. But in the summer, not so much. The garden doesn’t care that my throat hurts, and the basil and kale certainly don’t give a shit that all I want to do is take a nap. Nope. And apparently, the children still expect…Continue
Added by Lanita Moss on July 6, 2011 at 9:06am — No Comments
I don't know many women, unless they don't drink at all, that would argue with the fact that at the end of the day a nice glass of wine is like a big hug. Some women stay at home all day, and there is not a break to be had. No matter the age of your children, there is always something: the changing of diapers, clothes, feeding - whether it be…Continue
It is that time again when the Concert in the Park season begins. In our town, they are held every Sunday afternoon during the summer months. This is a time when we see all the families from this community come together to listen to some great music; everything from from Reggae to Top 40 Hits to Classical and Country. As the children play on the playground, we spread out our blankets and open our picnic baskets to enjoy a little wine and nosh, as we sit…Continue
Added by The Succulent Wife on May 10, 2011 at 3:02pm — No Comments
Added by Christine Trice on March 11, 2011 at 8:39pm — No Comments
By Mrs/Dr. T, Snarky PhD Scientist and Guest Contributor
The media has done a pretty good job making sure EVERYONE knows that chocolate might be good for you. It’s hard to find a women’s magazine that hasn’t promoted this message, particularly this time of year when Valentine’s Day sends chocolate sales…
Added by The Succulent Wife on February 10, 2011 at 11:57am — No Comments
Added by Janice on January 16, 2011 at 12:58pm — No Comments
Have you ever wondered what the perfect job would be? Just letting your mind wander to the possibilities without restrictions, obligations, or geography? A few years ago, I would have loved to have been a legislative aid on Capitol Hill. However, with all of the political bullshit that never seems to change despite what flavor of the month is in power, being a congressional aid just doesn’t sound that much fun any more.
Added by Lanita Moss on December 10, 2010 at 8:04am — No Comments