MOMMA CANDY OF THE WEEK
Things That Made Me Happy
Have you ever had one of those weeks that is so heavy and so trying you can't even remember what you did Monday...Tuesday...Wednesday...I mean, did those days actually even happen? Did I get dressed? What's my name…
Added by Shauna Quintero on February 2, 2013 at 11:55pm —
So did you go out last night?
Did you have a big night out on the town?
Did you wear a fancy dress and sparkly shoes?…
Added by Shauna Quintero on January 2, 2013 at 2:11am —
** Santa needs to be A LOT more organized next year.
** I may never see my son again now that Wii U is hooked up in the basement.
** Goatdog REALLY likes to open presents. Especially ones that don't belong to him.
** When it snows, everyone seems to have forgotten how to drive.
** Teepeeing the inside of your house… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 28, 2012 at 5:39pm —
When it comes to smashed grapes, I tend to be more of a white wine lover. But every now and then, I do love to sip some red. However, this past weekend proved to me why I should probably save it for very special occasions (like when the floor is lined with plastic).
So it was a chilly Friday evening, and my hubby and I decided to open up a…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 5, 2012 at 11:02am —
Check out this fun Mother In-law, Daughter In-law outing!
Added by Abby Billings on October 12, 2012 at 4:27pm —
Wine, the perfect end to a summer trip with the hubby! Sonoita Vineyard
Added by Abby Billings on October 9, 2012 at 5:37pm —
** I really need to fertilize my money tree cause damn, life is expensive right now.
** My kids purposely slow down to a turtle-like pace whenever I tell them to hurry up.
** When people say, "It can't get worse than this", it almost ALWAYS does.
** Listening to crap drip out of your kitchen ceiling is not a… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 17, 2012 at 11:00am —
** I am a chocolate chip cookie whore.
** Sinus headaches and motherhood go together about as well as flannel pajamas go with humidity.
** Meal plans that don't include chocolate or wine are clearly not the plans for me.
** Finding a store that still sells Excedrin Migraine is like finding the pot of gold at the end of a… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on July 20, 2012 at 6:14pm —
** Girls and drama go together like humidity and swass.
** Try as I may, I just don't have the moves like Jagger.
** It's best to look at the toilet seat before sitting down, at least in my house anyway.
** Clearly, my kids wait till I've just changed their sheets to pee the bed.
** Drinking cheap wine after having… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 29, 2012 at 2:05pm —
** Just so we're clear, I will still drink the wine if a fruit fly lands in my glass.
** The end of the school year is when all the crap that's been shoved into a tiny desk for nine months suddenly makes its way into your kitchen (or your trash).
** My son thinks I grew up in the early 1900's. Awesome.
** When you don't have… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 8, 2012 at 10:58am —
For a man, fatherhood can be one of the most blissful events in his life. That small bundle of joy that comes into his life not only brings with it great pleasures, but also adds a whole new dimension. While mothers are initially given all the special attention, the joy and the sacrifice of a father mostly goes unnoticed. So, to pay homage to all the men who are fathers or father figures, here is a Father’s Day gift guide flush of…
Added by The Succulent Wife on May 19, 2012 at 5:46pm —
** It honestly wouldn't surprise me if I pulled a piece of Easter grass out of my ass at this point since that crap seems to be EVERYWHERE!!!!
** If you're a complete and total bitch, you should probably think twice about being a customer service rep. Just sayin'.
** Motherhood is totally interfering with my "Fifty Shades of Grey"… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 13, 2012 at 11:36am —
** Sometimes turds just don't want to be flushed.
** I really really heart selling jewelry.
** It's a terribly bad idea to enter a bakery when you're starving.
** Trying to brush my daughter's hair in the morning is like trying to lasso a… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 6, 2012 at 10:46pm —
** My son likes to make his penis talk. (Don't ask.)
** The entire household turns into assholes when my husband goes out of town.
** My kids wait to take a dump until it's time to walk out the door.
** This ass isn't gonna run itself off.
** You can never ever hug your kids too much.
** When life hands you… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 31, 2011 at 1:07pm —
I have several (unfortunate) pet peeves. Many of them are creeping up right around this time of year because they mostly revolve around the theme of entertaining and food service… For one, the idea of mistakenly drinking from someone else’s glass is extremely disturbing (eww, cooties) and second – but way more peeving: I CAN’T stand the thought of the nearly…
Added by The Succulent Wife on December 22, 2011 at 1:09pm —
** Every time I try to be the early bird, my kids have already beaten me to the damn worm.
** The apple doesn't fall far from the tree since my son evidently also writes "notes to self".
** I'm a little obsessed with Thymes Frasier Fir line for the holidays.
**After living with a… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 2, 2011 at 2:22pm —
Is there a playdate addiction group somewhere? If so, then I'm totally sending these kids of mine. I'm tellin' you, these two short people are beyond obsessed with playdates all day, every day. Now some days, that can be a good thing (like when the playdate's at someone else's house, for example), but there are other days when I wanna kick the inventor of the playdate right… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 6, 2011 at 9:36am —
I don't know about you, but sometimes, I can't help but laugh my buns off when my kids are throwing an all-out fit. They just look so incredibly ridiculous to me as they're wailing and screaming and flailing themselves about the floor. In fact, I've even videotaped one of my daughter's tantrums to show her just what an asshole looks like in action. Of course, she doesn't find it… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on September 29, 2011 at 10:06am —
** Someone should come up with a Beano for brain farts.
** Motherhood is no place for migraines.
** Our water bill's gonna be $10,000 this month, thanks to my son's obsession with the hose.
** Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, is louder than the volume of a carpool of short people.
** Digging for your keys… Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 12, 2011 at 8:53am —
These are the ladies
That went on a trip
To Go to the Wineries
Added by Judy Newman on July 28, 2011 at 8:00pm —