** The world needs more creative photobombers.
** If you drive like Mario Andretti through a parking lot full of kids, you're a giant jackass.
** Winter is…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 2, 2014 at 10:14am — No Comments
** Winter is officially "over" -- and I'll believe it when I see it.
** The Tooth Fairy's gonna have to start leaving IOU's if my twins don't go to bed earlier at night.…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 21, 2014 at 10:14am — No Comments
** I'm not good at getting lucky.
** Child labor is more expensive than it used to be.
** A little piece of me dies every time people "REPLY…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 7, 2014 at 4:36pm — No Comments
** The noise in my house is often so LOUD that I could walk out and nobody would even notice.
** It would be AWESOME to still get care packages every now and then like we did in college.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 28, 2014 at 1:30pm — No Comments
** I wish my brain shut off as easily when I try to go to sleep as it does when I try to help my kids with their homework.
** Exhaustion is just NOT a good look on me.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 21, 2014 at 9:59am — No Comments
** If I held my breath for a big Valentine's Day surprise, I'd surely end up dead.
** A pre-shower naked dance is evidently becoming a nightly ritual around here.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 14, 2014 at 10:16am — No Comments
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 7, 2014 at 8:07pm — No Comments
** Whoever sent the Polar Vortex an invitation to return is in need of a good ass kicking.
** If I wanted to live in Antarctica, I would've moved to Antarctica.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 31, 2014 at 1:38pm — No Comments
I'd always thought that Mother Nature and I kind of had a connection -- you know with the whole "mother" thing and all. But I'm really starting to think that she's falsely assumed her title because no mama in her right mind would make it so damn cold outside that kids are off school and trapped indoors for days on…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 29, 2014 at 10:20am — No Comments
** If I looked like David Beckham, I'd be naked ALL the time.
** I'm a firm Belieber that Justin needs a big ol' time…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 24, 2014 at 10:21am — No Comments
Coming back from a family vacation is never a fun thing. The packing, the travel, the crabby kids -- they all add up to one giant pain in the ass. It pretty much makes you forget that you were even on vacation at all. But this recent sucker punch back to reality after our New Year's trip to…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 9, 2014 at 11:30am — No Comments
** The weatherman seems to be telling us all to go back to our warm beds until April.
** It would be AWESOME if I was the octopus my children seem to think I am.
** When you tell your husband to pick up "holiday-ish" paper plates at the grocery store, you evidently need to…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 13, 2013 at 12:56pm — No Comments
** School REALLY needs to start. Cause my patience has left the building.
** The smell of an amusement park is a compilation of B.O., grease, and ass.
** I'm not…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on August 24, 2013 at 11:44am — No Comments
** My son isn't afraid to run a song straight into the ground.
** Neither time nor cheese is on my side.
** If answering questions was a high-paying job, I'd be…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 26, 2013 at 5:46pm — No Comments
** I most certainly did NOT inherit my mom's hair-braiding skills.
** Apparently, Gap Kids sells husky-sized skinny jeans. Anybody else confused?
** Winter can kiss…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 8, 2013 at 9:00pm — No Comments
** My kids think Santa can make ANYTHING, which means that I am totally and completely SCREWED.
** "Customer" and "service" are two words that, sadly, don't belong together anymore.
** Static electricity is a very unfortunate side effect of Winter.
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 16, 2012 at 4:55pm — No Comments
As much as I loathe winter weather, there truly is something magical about the first snow of the season. Those white flakes falling gracefully from the sky always bring an unexpected peacefulness in my otherwise chaotic world. And being able to share that special moment with my kids makes it all that more memorable for me.
We got our first snowy dusting just this…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 14, 2012 at 5:00pm — No Comments
** The time change is making me think I'm late to everything. (O.k., so later than usual).
** My town has already put up its Christmas decorations. So we can now eat our Halloween candy under the mistletoe.
** After a thorough cleaning of my daughter's room, turns out there isn't a dead body in there after all.
** The shoe cubby in the foyer is the most logical place to store your jock cup. Apparently.
** I've answered more questions than Google over the past several days.
** Snooki has confirmed her pregnancy. I killed a…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 9, 2012 at 11:16am — No Comments
** A healthy household makes for a happy mama.
** My kids are HUGE fans of "skip the shower" nights.
** If my purse contained as much money as it does crap, I would be a very rich lady.
** Asparagus = awesome. Asparagus pee…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 3, 2012 at 10:37am — No Comments