NoReturnMom's Blog (12)

Operation Terrible Twos

Out of my intrepid fear of cliches, I may have been unclear with Tuesday's post. Even though we survived the Spawnocalypse--two and a half years of transition from daydreaming newlyweds to sometimes-haggard parents of back-to-back babies--this journey and blog are far from over.



But, at the risk of using dark analogies to describe parenthood (who, me?),… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on September 24, 2009 at 10:38am — No Comments

I have a doctor's note

Dear Internet,



Please excuse Deb's less-than-prolific (and kind of sucky) posting as of late.



As this writer's physician, I also pronounce that this letter does not violate blogging commandment number 3, as there is a legitimate medical reason behind her lack of inspiring prose (and ability to wash the kitchen floor). In particular, Ms. NoReturnMom's iron level is staggeringly low. How low? Well, an adult female should expect to see an iron count around 100, in order for… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on September 16, 2009 at 12:00pm — No Comments

Spawnocalypse FAQs

Or maybe more like FYIs. Whatever. Here goes.



Q: What's with the name Spawnocalypse--do you hate your kids?

A: No way. Most days, Gunnar (2) and Annalie (1) are the only people I can stand. At least they have a reason to be narcissistic and manipulative, and they usually make me laugh in the process--more than I can say for a lot of adults. The name signifies that parenthood… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on August 24, 2009 at 10:51pm — No Comments

What the heck am I doing in the blogosphere?

I entered the momblogosphere at an inopportune time: way past the dawn when mom blogging was considered a radical act and in the midst of potential FTC scrutiny and a… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on August 15, 2009 at 10:26pm — No Comments

Is it okay to shower with your kid?

At this point in my parenting career, I'm pretty good at taking others' opinions in stride. Think cloth diapers and home schooling are the way to go? Fine. Neither are for me, but who cares?



But every so often, I kick myself for not addressing a remark more clearly (or at all). So, behind the shield of the Internet, consider exhibit A...



What? You shower with your son? Gross.


As a person with generous sebaceous glands and kids that wake before dawn, I was… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on July 28, 2009 at 5:17pm — 2 Comments

Interview with a fellow bulimia survivor

I recently discovered Lori Hanson and her blog, Learn2Balance, full of wonderfully insightful articles about eating disorders and recovery. Lori should have insights—she’s been there, too. Although I share with you my experiences dealing with food issues from time to time, I have only my narrow perspective to provide. No research. Few answers.



So, I sent Lori an… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on July 23, 2009 at 4:44pm — No Comments

When having a smartypants hurts

My firstborn has a gift of gab that regularly makes me smile, shake my head, or laugh out loud and/or temporarily lose control of bodily functions. But on the other side of all those comical quips are the occasional words that break my heart.

A few days ago, as I was administering morning milk and diaper changes and bleary-eyed snuggles as usual, both toddlers tugging on me and grappling for a prime lap spot, Gunnar firmly grabbed my knee, looked me in the eye, and said, "I want…

Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on July 9, 2009 at 11:50am — No Comments

My two cents on unsolicited advice

An old friend's Facebook status states--with a period, not a question mark--that his baby is suffering from her first cold. How do you respond?



Although I usually use punctuation as my guide, sometimes I can't resist trying so save a fellow parent some of the trial and error I've already exhausted. So, picturing the week ahead for my friend with the sick four-month-old, I had to recommend Little Noses saline drops before… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on June 29, 2009 at 3:54pm — No Comments

Getting bossy for a good cause

I'm not really the kind of blogger (or person) who tells other adults what to do (the kids are fair game, obviously), but I think I'm becoming an unofficial ambassador for the Red Cross.



If you're eligible to donate blood, you can make an appointment online right this second on the Red Cross website. Setting up an account, finding a blood drive/donation center, and making an appointment takes less… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on June 19, 2009 at 10:30am — No Comments

All about Annie

I've gotten a lot of comments on my Facebook page lately to the effect of, "Keep those hilarious updates about your son coming!" I wonder if my old high school classmates realize I have a daughter, too. It's true, I don't report as much about her, with her big brother providing so much easy fodder.



But even though my little girl isn't policing other kids' dirty diapers just yet, that doesn't mean that… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on June 13, 2009 at 3:41pm — No Comments

Win an exclusive Spawnocalypse-edition Night Light Stories compilation CD

Drum roll please...I'm pleased to announce my first-ever giveaway. In appreciation to those of you who take time out of your busy days to read my ramblings, I've partnered with my good friend and fellow mompreneur, Miss Mel, to give away 20 exclusive Spawnocalypse-edition CDs of her originally written and recorded Night Light Stories. All you have to do is fill out this simple… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on June 3, 2009 at 11:48am — No Comments

Ten reasons I love being a mom

Some days, you'd think my blog was sponsored by Trojan. But this occasional venting in no way means I regret becoming a mom. I knew from the day I tossed my Pill pack that sacrifices would be part of the deal. And I also know plenty of women who'd give their front teeth to only have it so easy.



I wear my hairy legs and deflated boobs proudly, and here's why:



1. Any given day, I can handle a thousand micro-crises and be ready for more before my childless counterparts--hell,… Continue

Added by NoReturnMom on June 3, 2009 at 8:00am — 1 Comment

12/27/14 DAILY BLOG PROMPT

A SPECIAL GREETING FROM FRAN DRESCHER

MOM BLOGGERS FOR SOCIAL GOOD

Mom Bloggers for Social Good is a global coalition of 2000+ mom bloggers who currently span over twenty countries and who care about spreading the good news about the amazing work non-profit organizations and NGOs are doing around the world.  Want to make a difference? Please join us!

Toxic Free Blog - by Brittany Glynn


Brittany is a director of the Toxic Free Foundation and created the first ever Toxic Free Certification Program.  Weekly, Brittany publishes the Toxic Free Blog and provides coaching to over 10,000 families in the United States alone.  She is the author of a Toxic Free educational series and co-author of several Toxic Free learning programs. Brittany is also an award winning author. 

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