Jessica Rector's Blog (8)

Facing Jason

No sleep is not an option for me. My sense of security is back in tact since I think we are on the same page in trying to work things out. I lean over and kiss his lips. I say goodbye and don’t hear a response before I walk out the door….not knowing what is in store next.

I text Jason the next day apologizing for leaving and explaining how he knows that his loud snoring keeps me awake.

He doesn’t reply. I text him again later in the day, and he doesn’t respond to that text…

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Added by Jessica Rector on February 11, 2013 at 1:52am — No Comments

Am I Having a Miscarriage?

The next week passes rather quickly. In addition to the Pre-existing Conditional Insurance Plan, I decide to apply to Medicaid. Not sure if I’ll qualify, but it’s worth a try anyway. Since I’m still waiting on any insurance to take effect, I haven’t been to the doctor.

The first time it occurred I was at work and didn’t know what to think. I wasn’t sure what was happening, and it scared me. I was fine throughout the day. Then around 6 pm, it happens. As I’m walking around at work, I…

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Added by Jessica Rector on January 30, 2013 at 2:06pm — No Comments

To Tell Or Not To Tell

Sunday arrives. I still haven’t decided if I’m going to tell my family or not. I just don’t know what to say or how to say it. Well, let me be honest, my younger sister and my younger brother already know. So basically who’s left to tell are my older sister and older brother and my parents. My older brother won’t be there today, and my older sister is easy going and will probably be excited. She loves babies. My parents are my concern. I have no idea what reaction to expect from them. And…

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Added by Jessica Rector on December 30, 2012 at 11:15am — 4 Comments

Changing My Perspective

I wake up the next day, and before I’m out of bed, BOOM it hits me just like that. Everything in my mind has changed. This isn’t just a good thing, it’s a great thing. It is a blessing. I want kids. So maybe it didn’t happen the way that I thought it would. It definitely didn’t happen the way I envisioned, but that doesn’t mean it’s anything but great. I say it again to myself It is a blessing!

My brother’s statement from last night plays again in my head, “If you think of it…

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Added by Jessica Rector on December 19, 2012 at 11:16am — 1 Comment

The Following Days Continued

I leave the room and sit in the lobby for them to finish my paperwork. While I’m waiting, I send Jason a text saying, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m at Planned Parenthood. They confirm that I am pregnant and due in November.”

He sends a text back saying, “I don’t even know what to say to you.”

Stunned by this reply, I’m at a loss for how to respond. How does he not know what to say to me? Last I knew, it takes two for this result to happen.

He sends a follow-up…

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Added by Jessica Rector on December 6, 2012 at 5:59pm — No Comments

The Following Days

After Jason leaves, I immediately get ready for bed. In a fog like crying daze, I take a shower, brush my teeth and change into shorts and a t-shirt. As I lay in bed, my thoughts are anything but still. They are rapid, multi-directional, and never ending.

What am I going to do? How will this affect my business? I’ve worked so hard on starting and growing it. Now what’s going to happen? I can’t believe Jason said that. Why did he react that way?

I stop crying for a…

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Added by Jessica Rector on November 28, 2012 at 3:47am — No Comments

The News Continued

Since his car is at my place, I offer to pick him up so he doesn’t have to take a taxi.

I arrive to get him. He gets in the car and asks again why I’m crying. I hand him the pregnancy test.

He looks at it and says….“Well, you got what you wanted a baby and no guy.”

I reply, “Yeah, that’s every girl’s dream.”

He then says, “If it’s real that is.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You could have used Kool-aid on the stick.”

My mind is reeling in…

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Added by Jessica Rector on November 25, 2012 at 7:35am — 2 Comments

The News

I never thought I would be one of them. Not that I ever judged them, because my younger sister was one. It just never occurred to me that it would be me. I had been so picky about finding “the one,” and at 37 I thought I did…until reality set in and I knew I hadn’t.

Being self-employed, I didn’t have health insurance. So I went to Planned Parenthood to get on the pill. The nurse asked, as they always do, when was the first day of my last menstrual cycle? I don’t know about you, but I…

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Added by Jessica Rector on November 21, 2012 at 2:35pm — 2 Comments

12/19/14 DAILY BLOG PROMPT

A SPECIAL GREETING FROM FRAN DRESCHER

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