Here is what I hate about snow in mid-March: it is supposed to be spring; there isn’t enough of the white stuff to do anything productive with, such as sled; even if there were, I wouldn’t want to get out my toboggan.
“The weather’s all crazy right now,” a 5-year-old boy, a stranger, informed me yesterday at the park. He was right. The wind whipped our faces as I organized races for him, his younger brother, and my three children, in order to get them moving since they…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on March 16, 2013 at 2:23pm — No Comments
After keeping me and my husband awake for several hours overnight, our 2-year-old decided to somersault down a flight of stairs into our friend’s basement the other morning.
I had a premonition that something bad was going to happen. But then again, I’m always having dire premonitions. At any rate, I was concerned enough to stand above as Jane descended the staircase, but not concerned enough to…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on March 14, 2013 at 8:50pm — No Comments
The question I’ve been asking myself all day is why someone didn’t steal my minivan. I gave them every opportunity. After all, I left my keys in the ignition overnight.
Of course I didn’t do this on purpose. I hold myself above reproach in these matters. In fact, I often scold my husband and his father for…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on March 12, 2013 at 9:16pm — No Comments
Our 2-year-old has lately been terrorizing us, not only by day but also at night. When we put Jane to bed, she comes back out of her room, on average about 24 times. We can hear her before we see her, as she struggles to burst through her sticking door, carrying books and dolls, and plunking them on the floor. When Jane emerges, her hair standing at crazy angles from her head, she’s often smiling. We are not.
“Into your room!” my husband and I cry. We gather up Jane’s hand…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on March 8, 2013 at 11:36am — No Comments
As I was folding laundry Sunday and trying to read the subtitles of the Danish police procedural, “Forbrydelsen” (which I’d highly recommend, although you’ll need an international DVD player on which to view it) I spied a small, brown creature scuttling along our bed skirt. I reflexively nabbed it between my thumb and pointer.
Now I wish I hadn’t, because ever since I’ve been worrying that it might…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on March 6, 2013 at 9:28pm — No Comments
With real-life scoundrels such as Dominique Strauss-Kahn, former IMF chief and apparent sex addict—whose most recent exploits include allegedly asking a French journalist if he could lick the mascara from her eyes until his own face was covered in makeup—who needs TV villains? Well, I do, for one. And I find that I’m spending an ever-increasingly obscene amount of money on finding them.
I need basic cable to follow “Hoarders” and other A&E gems, as well as the full Bravo…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on March 2, 2013 at 3:23pm — No Comments
The other morning, as I was escorting my twins to kindergarten, a friend started chatting up the cop who was acting as the crossing guard.
“How do you know him so well?” I asked.
“He almost gave me a ticket the other day,” she said with a wink.
Clearly, she'd charmed the pants off the officer—something I’ve never quite learned to do.
My relationship with law enforcement has always been a bit more contentious than that and began, as it does for…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on February 25, 2013 at 8:43pm — No Comments
This is what you get when you ignore your three young children at the library: a delightful book, selected by your 2-year-old, entitled, “Amazing You!: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts.”
This windfall results from allowing your kids to roam freely through the children’s section, rooting among the shelves, littering the tables and floor with books and fondling the library’s computer keyboard—your 2-year-old may have even licked it—while you try to sort out how to…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on February 20, 2013 at 7:27pm — No Comments
I had read that Bethenny Frankel, former “Real Housewives of New York City” star and Skinnygirl mogul, had tapped out her best-selling but probably not very literate books (though I haven’t read them) bit by bit on her BlackBerry, stealing moments in between being styled for photo shoots, negotiating multimillion-dollar deals, and mixing margaritas. So I thought I would try it myself—maybe…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on February 16, 2013 at 4:00pm — No Comments
Last night, our friends and local social directors offered what one partygoer later described as the “perfect antidote for the winter blahs”: a “serenade your sweetheart” karaoke bash in their living room.
“I’m so looking forward to this,” I told Cyndi a few days before she hosted the party with her husband, Tom. …Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on February 10, 2013 at 8:12pm — No Comments
Between our son’s persistent earache, the ongoing frigid temperatures and my husband’s extended coaching hours—though his basketball team is competing for the championship and I’m trying to be enthusiastic—we’ve had a trying week. So I decided to boost our spirits tonight with some comfort food. I felt our travails called for…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on February 7, 2013 at 8:32pm — No Comments
The other day when our twins’ kindergarten classmate came to visit, he wanted to do it “Gangnam Style.” And so we did.
“Oh, they play this at gym class!” my daughter, 6, exclaimed when “Eh—sexy lady” leaked from my MacBook’s meager speakers. In trying to download “Gangnam Style” from iTunes, I discovered my account had been shut down since my credit card had been stolen with my…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on February 4, 2013 at 9:11pm — No Comments
When I came out of the grocery store last weekend, I trundled my laden shopping cart straight toward our silver minivan, only to discover that it was not our silver minivan. It was a Honda Odyssey, and a rather filthy one at that. Our vehicle was a slightly less soiled Toyota Sienna—and it was nowhere in sight.
I was a little embarrassed at my error. After all, I had chugged up to someone else’s minivan with utter assurance that it belonged to me. I had even taken out my keys…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on January 31, 2013 at 8:18pm — No Comments
This afternoon, my husband and I saw “Argo,” which we thoroughly enjoyed, despite what Jeff characterized as Ben Affleck’s tediously predictable “languid walk and 1,000-mile stare.” I personally think Matt Damon’s best friend is a better director than actor. For instance, I loved Affleck’s 2007 crime thriller and directorial debut, “Gone Baby Gone.” And in “Argo,” Affleck offers an engrossing portrayal of the fantastical rescue of six diplomats during the 1979 Iran hostage crisis, even if…Continue
For the past couple of days, I’ve found myself considering the ancient dilemma of whether I’d rather die by fire or ice. Clutched by a cold snap that has much of the Midwest and Northeast in its vise-grip—including the Philadelphia region where I live—I’ve found myself lately landing solidly, with a frozen thud, on the side of burning up in flames.
The high today was 20, due to dip to 13 overnight. At least for me, this qualifies as unbearable. And the forecast is far from…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on January 23, 2013 at 8:13pm — No Comments
Winter is setting in, cold and deep. So I thought another installment of my “It’s a Thin Line” series, about things I love and hate, might provide some levity.
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on January 20, 2013 at 8:16pm — No Comments
Our 6-year-old twins began squabbling at 6:52 a.m. yesterday over whether they were going to play a five-in-a-line pattern or a fill-your-card game of Bingo. Griffin demanded that his sister shove him the crayon box, which she did, toppling over a full glass of milk. Last night, Georgia hollered, “I have to pee,” as she rushed to the bathroom.
“No, I have to go pee, pee,” her 2-year-old sister cried.
“You can use your little potty,” I said, which Jane did, and I…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on January 17, 2013 at 9:01pm — No Comments
“Why are you crying, mommy?” my 2-year-old called from her car seat as I blubbered on the phone about nothing specific to my husband.
“Sometimes mommies just feel sad,” I said, swabbing my snotty nose with my parka sleeve and pulling myself back together.
“Why?” Jane asked, cracking a smile.
I smiled back, but I couldn’t rightly answer. We were parked outside Trader Joe’s at 9:15…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on January 14, 2013 at 8:59pm — No Comments
Our 6-year-old daughter was in tears late yesterday afternoon, having suffered, as usual, various injustices throughout the day, mostly at the hands of her twin brother and her 2-year-old sister. “Why does Jane get another jelly bean just for going potty?” Georgia had bemoaned, despite the fact that I had reminded her that when she and her brother were liberating themselves from diapers, they, too, had received many treats as encouragement. “Yeah, but they were M&Ms, not jelly beans!”…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on January 10, 2013 at 9:19pm — No Comments
Yesterday, I acquired a really hot hat.
Not only will it keep me toasty all winter, but it also adds a certain je ne sais quoi to my bundled-up self. I’m hoping my husband appreciates the touch. But I would understand if he didn’t. After all, Jeff kind of got robbed, twice, in the process of my buying it.
First of all, I found my sexy lid during what I intentionally failed to divulge to my husband was a drop-off birthday party. I put on my best martyr act and…Continue
Added by Courtenay Harris Bond on January 6, 2013 at 8:10pm — No Comments