MAN ALIVE.

THE SEARING, MOLTEN, TORTUROUS THROBBING HAS BEEN COMPLETE AGONY. 

But I suffered in silence.

THE PIERCING, ACHING, TENDER SMARTING HAS PLAGUED ME ALL WEEK.

But I battled on.

THE STINGING, EXCRUCIATING, BURNING RAWNESS EVEN KEPT ME AWAKE FIVE MINUTES AFTER BEDTIME.

At which I immediately gave in.

(Nothing messes with bedtime. That's just the law.)

My bullied gum is now the proud owner of one shiny, white, sharp tooth. And after all the…

Ever seen a fly poo?

Well now you have.

I actually watched a fly land on our window sill, tuck his six knees under his chin, open up a newspaper, strain, then fly away - leaving this little stain of shame behind.

Why am I watching a fly poo on our window sill I hear you cry in your bewildered ones and…

How dare she. Absolutely unacceptable.

The Poop has only gone and grown herself an actual, white, enamel coated first tooth. And she had the bad mannered audacity to allow this tooth to pierce her gum and make it's very first ever appearance in the world on a day WHEN I WAS AT WORK. What a little madam.

I have spent almost every second of the last nine months in the company of our daughter, and this is how she repays me. She has this evening teased me by smiling in my direction…

I have been tagged by the lovely Debra over at My Darlings And Me in a Why? meme.

I'm not big on this tagging stuff, mainly because completing these things remind me that a) I'm a loner with no mates and that b) I have no mates because I'm a nerd who sits on her computer all day.

I do not choose to ever be reminded of these things. So I don't do taggy doodahs.

But this one struck a chord.

It's called Why?…

Did I mention that a cat died in our roof? Oh. I did. 

Just checking.

After giving up one weekend to dig the carcass and all its squirming friends from our rafters, we* have spent this last one ripping down the whole network of tongue and groove slats that its maggoty backside had nestled on above our heads. Which, as you will appreciate, with a nine month old baby, no money and a total…

By Betty Briars.

I've got a nine month old daughter. I'm back at work. I've got no kitchen ceiling, plasterboard dust has settled on everything downstairs and I've got a blog to write. Is it any wonder my washing basket looks like this?…

I've never been to a barbecue before, but if this one was anything to go by, they're not for me.

Barbecues are these things where loads of people you don't know go and stand in someone's garden and eat food I can't have off paper plates I'm not allowed to touch. Throw in the fact Mum made me wear a summer dress, even though it was pouring with rain, and you can see why they're be no need to hold me back next year. Not exactly my idea of a big Saturday night.

Then, swathes of these…