Mary Jane Hurley Brant's Blog (22)

Happy Mother's Day to Every "Good-Enough Mother"

For many of us, Mother's Day stirs something deeply loving.  For others, ambivalent feelings abide.  You see, after thirty-three years in the counseling field and drying the tears off many faces, I can accurately say that not every woman feels she had, was or is the "good-enough mother."



So, exactly what is the "good-enough mother"?  English pediatrician, Donald Winnicott, M.D. – an influential object-relations psychoanalyst - believed this type of mother was a different kind of…

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Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on May 8, 2013 at 7:45pm — No Comments

YouTube Losing A Child

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=K7iZaEP4t3I

While my topic won't be pertinent to most moms - and for that I am so grateful - it will be to some who are hurting or they know a mom who is.  Please help them out by mentioning their child.  It's wonderful hearing the name of our children whether they are here on earth or in heaven; our relationship with them never ever…

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Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on October 19, 2012 at 9:15am — 1 Comment

Mother's Finding Meaning Again Mission Statement

We are a support group for any woman who has lost a child.  Our purpose is to comfort bereaved mothers.  We offer compassion, conversation, validation, support, spiritual solace and friendship to one another.  At our meetings - and our other gatherings together - no mother ever has to explain why she is suffering or justify why she can't "get over it."  We all know that no mother ever "gets over it" because the sorrow keeps our communion open with our beloved deceased children. But, in the…

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Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on October 18, 2012 at 5:19pm — No Comments

Loyalty Vs. Blind Loyalty In Families

Hi Moms, I want to talk about loyalty vs. blind loyalty in families.



Loyalty is essential for genuine family solidarity.  But blind loyalty leads to family dysfunction.



A loyal family member is faithful to the family's traditions and honors its obligations. A loyal family member is emotionally present with support and encouragement during success or duress.   These unwavering devotions are admirable and observable: just look at how a loyal family member helps another member…

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Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on June 11, 2011 at 7:42am — No Comments

Grief Has Its Own Timetable

Dear Moms,



After the death of someone we love our grief experience and overall healing has everything to do with our relationship to the deceased, the intensity and depth of the love we felt for them and our degree of faith in a hereafter.  In the immediate aftermath of a person's death, it's hard to breathe and everything hurts. We feel shattered, bewildered and frightened. Sometimes, however, grief shows us its own timetable and can be delayed or complicated.  I experienced a long… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on April 9, 2011 at 8:03pm — No Comments

Accepting Change Can Bring Moms Peace

In my younger days I was naive enough to think I could control change.  I’ve learned, but not quickly enough, that no one can control or stop change. And, here is an interesting little fact: Charles Darwin believed that those people who survive the ones who can adapt to ongoing change.  They are not necessarily the strongest or the smartest, but they are the survivors. That thought of survival brings me to today’s topic of change and how to understand it a little better.

First, that…

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Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on March 15, 2011 at 2:03pm — No Comments

February - The Month of Love, Mystery and Forgiveness

The month of February focuses our attention on love.  Cards are bought, candy is given, kisses abound.  What is it about love?  We simply cannot get enough of it.  “I love you” and “I’m in love with you.”  Is there a difference? Yes.  “I’m in love with you” has more infatuation and projection attached and “I love you” has more of day-to-day companionship attached.  Each has its mystery.  Mystery, by definition, cannot be completely understood.  I like the word mystery because it elevates a…

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Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on February 14, 2011 at 4:57pm — 1 Comment

What Kind of Men Do Women Want?

What kind of men do women want? The answer could take ten lifetimes but here is a sampling of answers my counseling profession has yielded over the last thirty years.  Oh, by the way, thirty years was the same amount of time Freud pondered the broader question what does a woman want?



  • Women want fidelity. They don't want a guy flirting with their best friend or worst enemy.


  • Women want a man they can depend on.  If he says "I'll call you," he…
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Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on February 2, 2011 at 8:48am — No Comments

Peace and Plenty - Newest book by Sarah Ban Breathnach

Moms, if you want to understand your relationship with money, Peace and Plenty: Finding Your Path to Financial Serenity is the book for you.  It is authentic writing at its best.  Sarah Ban Breathnach, author of the hugely successful Simple Abundance, once again weaves wonderful words together as she addresses the serious and important subject of money and a woman's relationship with it.  "Heaven likes to help those trying to help themselves" and "'Having enough' is the destination for… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on January 18, 2011 at 10:16am — No Comments

Five Areas Of Healthy Change for Moms

Moms, There is something wonderfully reflective about a new year: it's another chance to get it right.



At the beginning of each calendar year I separate my life into five important areas: physical, emotional, professional, familial and spiritual.  I analyze honestly how I'm doing in each category - well, of course I do; it's my business! Today let me help you to analyze your life.



Physical – Make your personal health your first priority by making an appointment for an annual… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on January 18, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

Mrs. Claus Knows Best

Mrs. Claus Knows Best



Hi Moms,



I love this quote by Mignon McLaughlin, "No matter how many Christmas presents you give your child, there's always that terrible moment when he's opened the very last one. That's when he expects you to say, 'Oh yes, I almost forgot,' and {you} take him out and show him the pony."



Now, here is my favorite Christmas tale about our kids when they were pre-school ages. The story is excerpted from my book… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on November 30, 2010 at 8:13pm — No Comments

Thanksgiving Day Can Be Painful

When you lose someone you love, Thanksgiving Day feels burdensome and painful. When a brain tumor took away our precious Katie's life I dreaded that holiday. For seven years we served no rutabagas because they were Katie's favorite vegetable. The thought of their seasonal aroma wafting through our home without her in it was too much to bear.



I don't share this part of me today to make other moms sad. I share it because you are my extended family and I am yours. We are all fellow… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on November 23, 2010 at 4:20pm — No Comments

How to Choose a Good Therapist

Moms,



Ever wonder about how to choose a therapist? Today I would like to share my thoughts on this important question.



I believe a client can feel more understood when the therapist has clinical experience with the situation the client is bringing to therapy. And, if the therapist has the same personal experience, even better. This implies that the client knows what concern is bringing them into a therapist's office. But if the client doesn't know, an intuitive therapist… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on September 25, 2010 at 5:15pm — No Comments

Psychology and Feng Shui in Romantic Relationships

Hi Moms,



Many people believe therapy is about resolving a crisis or healing a traumatic past and while these are worthy goals indeed, good therapy is also like good feng shui, because it is about exploring and making our noble intentions conscious and meaningful.



Balancing Yin and Yang energies in our romantic relationships is imperative. Think about balance within the context of our feeling afraid that the relationship with our significant lover will end because our mate will… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on August 23, 2010 at 8:50pm — No Comments

Kids Leaving for College - Help for Parents

Moms,



It's August, let's talk about your children leaving for college. Or remember when you left! Yes, I know it brings up many feelings. One minute you're laughing with them at a Kmart Blue Light Special, the next minute you're dissolving into tears. The thing about being a parent is that when we finally master one stage of development with our kids, they've already catapulted into the next.



Leaving for college is a big transition for a family. For many parents this… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on August 11, 2010 at 8:52pm — No Comments

Summer Love

Moms, we simply cannot get enough love, especially summer love. Maybe it's because summer love feels friendlier when we are walking to the beach carrying a chair, a favorite book and an iPod to keep our own delicious thoughts company. Seriously, don't your olfactory sensibilities become completely engaged with fresh suntan lotion? The smell of Coppertone and I'm 13 all over again.



Summer sea breezes make most of us swoon. Shakespeare's famous, "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on July 17, 2010 at 2:41pm — No Comments

Mother's Day is for Moms

Mother's Day is poignant for most of us. We all had a mom and we are moms. Hopefully, our moms were good moms though I do know from drying the tears of many women that not every woman had the mother she needed. And for that, my mothers, I'm sorry, because it’s a pain that stays a long time.



My mother was a good mother but she made mistakes. As a bossy first born I was quick to point them out whenever the mood fit me.…



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Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on May 7, 2010 at 8:30pm — No Comments

Are You A Hero?

Some say we don't have anymore heroes but I say we do. Let's take a look at what a hero is and decide if you are one.



A hero travels the hero's journey. That's when regular people such as you or me are asked to leave our routine life because something serious has occurred and we are asked to do something about it. We are "called to help." We are called to save our king, our country, our friend, or ourself. And because the task is arduous, we really don't want to accept it.… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on March 25, 2010 at 9:22pm — No Comments

Synchronicity is More than a Coincidence

Have you ever had an experience where you said, "Wow, what a coincidence." Maybe it was more. Maybe it was a synchronicity. Let me explain through a Jungian perspective.



Carl Jung, the prominent Swiss psychiatrist, believed synchronicity meant 'more than a coincidence.' Jung, the thinker and founder of analytical psychology, connected synchronicities to the bigger world: the collective unconscious. These were not just assumptions on his part, Jung believed the collective unconscious… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on March 9, 2010 at 4:42pm — 1 Comment

Autumn Calls Us To Change

Hi dear Moms,



In my younger days I thought I could control change. I learned, and not quickly I would add, that no one can control or stop change anymore than one can hold back the tides or halt the autumn leaves transforming from green to gold. This brings me to today's topic of change and how to understand it and accept its daily invitation.



First, change is inevitable. Think of those individuals you know who, despite painful adversity, have been able to go on even after… Continue

Added by Mary Jane Hurley Brant on October 1, 2009 at 4:16pm — No Comments

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