Tracy Warner's Blog (74)

What The Hell Is She Sniffin’??!!

Yep, just rollin’ naked in the crazy lately. Drunk birthday party Mom? Pretty sure she was sniffin’ glue too. Their address doesn’t exist on Google maps..& if Google can’t find it, then it must not exist at all, right? So then I look up her name…that doesn’t exist either. Now…

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Added by Tracy Warner on November 23, 2010 at 10:46pm — No Comments

No One Ever Told Me…

I never held any illusions about having 4 kidlets. I didn’t expect it to be easy, I knew it wouldn’t be cheap, & I anticipated the years of being tied down to breastfeeding, diapers, & crying. I entered in to this with a willing spirit & a joyful heart. As they headed off to…

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Added by Tracy Warner on October 22, 2010 at 12:03am — No Comments

Mommy Dearest…

Today, I hang my head in shame. Attempting to keep the tears at bay & failing dismally, I contemplate ending it all & making that leap over the Brink Of Insanity. Surely I deserve such a fate, throwing myself in to the abyss, after a day that finally saw my children turn on me…nearly in unison, almost as one, declaring me the “worst Mommy ever!”. And what was it that brought…

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Added by Tracy Warner on October 19, 2010 at 12:05pm — No Comments

A Terrorist Plot Unveiled…

It’s a tragic story. A community up in arms, frightened for their children, as one small body after another turns up. Flattened like pancakes. Stiff, furry tails sticking straight up in the air, a grim marker of a senseless death. You see them every day, littering the streets & sidewalks, while mothers scurry past shielding the eyes of the innocent children in tow, hoping to protect them from such a horrific sight. Along the grassy boulevards, little furry sentinels keep watch, like an…

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Added by Tracy Warner on October 4, 2010 at 8:38pm — No Comments

The Golden Rule…

I’m no stranger to the wonderful world of Kindergarten. This is my fourth foray in to the realm of refrigerator art, trips to the farm, & agonizingly annoying Letterland characters. And as many of you know, I have not taken kindly to having to send my last wee baby off to school this fall. Aside from the obvious reasons that any mother can relate to, there is another, far more compelling, reason as to why I was loathe to put her in the hands of the educational system. Those bastards…

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Added by Tracy Warner on September 23, 2010 at 4:32pm — No Comments

Mom vs. Herself…

The biggest thing I’ve learned as a parent, is the biggest thing I struggle with the most as a parent. Because it demands that I engage in a constant inner struggle with the very fabric of my being. Here’s the lesson…BEFORE I give in to my immediate reactions, stop & ask myself: are MY opinions/actions/decisions what’s best for THEM?? It’s usually not…thus the struggle. Having to back down, bite my tongue, stay out of it, go with the flow, often requires a massive dose of happy pills…

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Added by Tracy Warner on September 20, 2010 at 2:52pm — No Comments

My Bad…

It’s not in my nature to apologize. I rarely see a need for it, when I’m always in the right. But as I once again find myself spiralling down in to the second gaping pit of depression to tear open the streets of Crazy Town in recent months, I’ve simply found it far too difficult to type while clinging for dear life on the edge of the precipice. Frankly, I can barely maintain my tenuous grip on my sanity, never mind my keyboard. This, of course, means that I have sorely neglected my Mayoral…

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Added by Tracy Warner on September 6, 2010 at 11:21pm — No Comments

@$#*%! Friday! For Sh**s & Giggles!

For Sh**s & Giggles!

Why yes, I have been MIA lately, thank you for noticing…though I’m not certain if 6 days without posting actually qualifies. Granted, I have never left my post…get it, post??…for that long before, but I have my reasons. Since it’s @$#*%! Friday!, I’m not overly inclined to share them with you. I’d wind up getting run out of Crazy Town by angry villagers…

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Added by Tracy Warner on August 13, 2010 at 12:30am — No Comments

#HomeHer 2010!

After months of anticipation, the eagerly awaited weekend was upon me. #HomeHer, 2010! While others lucky bitches foolishly spent hundreds of dollars to jet off to New York city for BlogHer & sit in stuffy banquet halls listening to fabulous mediocre droning…

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Added by Tracy Warner on August 12, 2010 at 2:22am — No Comments

@$#*%! Friday! & Mr. Linky Poke Fun At Twilight!

For those of you who have skipped town to attend BlogHer 2010 in NYC, bite me. For the rest of us saps left behind to continue blogging in your absence, it’s @$#*%! Friday!…a rather poor substitute for BlogHer, but whaddya want from me??!! ANYWHO, in the spirit of summer vacation, The Boy & I…

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Added by Tracy Warner on August 6, 2010 at 12:14am — No Comments

Wordless Wednesday For Dummies!

Wordless Wednesday is back…that fabulous way to assuage my guilt by allowing me to get a post up without actually having written one…if only the rest of my life offered solutions that simple! This week is the Dummy Edition…we’re seemingly surrounded by them…

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Added by Tracy Warner on August 3, 2010 at 10:54pm — No Comments

A Wild Adventure…

Travelling of any sort is always a crap shoot for me. Aside from the logistics of 4 kidlets, (although, with everyone out of “babyhood”, I have finally become adept enough at packing that I can leave behind the kitchen sink!), the Griswold moniker is well earned…I seem to encounter “adventures” that fall outside of the typical. Moreover, MY typical usually falls within…

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Added by Tracy Warner on August 3, 2010 at 2:22am — No Comments

@$#*%! Friday! New Spice & Big Ass Tables!

So I said to myself, “Self…you have been sorely neglecting your duties as Mayor of late…”. Myself responded with a rude gesture & a string of expletives that made even me blush. Then I was clocked over the head with a calendar. A sad reminder that September is looming, & with it, the two things I struggle with the most…the loss of my babies back to the school system, & the impending arrival of…

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Added by Tracy Warner on July 30, 2010 at 1:01am — 1 Comment

The North American Rug Rat & Yard Ape…

These fascinating creatures are both sub-species of the homosapien family. Subtle, but distinct differences separate the two, however, Rattus Carpeti & Hominous (pronounced om-i-nus) Gracilli share their environment & have similar appearance & behaviour patterns when observed in their natural habitat. Found the world over, the North American variety of the Rug Rat & Yard Ape…

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Added by Tracy Warner on July 19, 2010 at 11:56am — No Comments

Walking The Red Carpet!

With the flames of Hell licking at my front door all week, I unexpectedly found myself housebound with four kidlets. As it turns out, the searing heat outside may have been the lesser of two evils, compared to the little devils I battled inside….I am now convinced that they are agents of Satan. I also discovered that being trapped in the same four walls with the same four brats for a week…

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Added by Tracy Warner on July 12, 2010 at 1:52am — No Comments

Google Me This…

Granted, the (relatively!) new millennium has already brought with it a myriad of new terms being coined to keep up with the advent of social media & constant technological advances. Though the jury is still out on the efficacy of many of them, I’m throwing my hat in the ring & coining one of my own! Whether or not it ever makes it past the borders of Crazy Town is neither here nor there…frankly, without the …

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Added by Tracy Warner on July 8, 2010 at 10:31pm — No Comments

Show Me Some Comment Luv!

I have decided to enter my very first blogging contest! No, not for the fabulous cash prizes being awarded. Yeah, I didn’t believe me either. However, cash aside, I was drawn in by the topic itself. Blog commenting, & any & all topics surrounding it. Since the inception of Crazy Town, I have built an incredible community of friends & fellow bloggers, through the exchanging of comments & I’d be lost without the support of said community. We rely on each other to validate what…

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Added by Tracy Warner on July 6, 2010 at 7:57pm — No Comments

My Kid’s A Genius!

I recently had quite a tiff with The Baby. My own fault, really. I should just know by now…but I didn’t give her the credit she deserved. You see, she’s a frikkin’ genius…no question in my mind. Yet, I forget this at times, given how wee & adorable this kidlet is. So you’re thinking to…

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Added by Tracy Warner on July 5, 2010 at 2:19am — No Comments

Canadian, Eh! Friday Funny Blog Hop!

Shut up, I know it’s not Friday yet, whaddya take me for?! But it IS a long weekend for most North Americans, & even though I’d like to say I did this solely for The Empress ’cause I’m just that frikkin’ giving, (bite me), that’s not the case. My mother recently shared this video with me,…

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Added by Tracy Warner on July 1, 2010 at 1:54am — No Comments

Wordless Wednesday: Canada Day Edition! w/Mr. Linky!

I speak Canadian eh! That means I spell words like colour, humour, or favour properly. It means that my alphabet ends with a Zed, not a Zee. It means the beer store is a couple of kilometres away rather than a mile & a half or so. It means that when I say a bag of milk, I really do mean a BAG. And it means I pepper my speech with eh instead of y’all. Yes, that’s my subtle way of pointing out to…

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Added by Tracy Warner on June 29, 2010 at 11:24pm — No Comments

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