Jennifer Marshall's Blog – May 2012 Archive (11)

The King and Queen of Stupid Situations

If I'm the self-proclaimed Queen of Attracting Stupid Situations, then my husband is without a doubt the King of Attracting Stupid Situations.  (Not sure what that says about us being attracted to each other, but anyway.....)  I swear, between the two of us, we are an accident waiting to happen at any given moment.  The latest case in point?  This past weekend when…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 30, 2012 at 5:04pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week





** Nothing says true love like having to ask your spouse how long you've been married.

** If a black cat runs in front of you, just pretend like it didn't.

** Kids ask why even when they don't give a rat's ass about the answer.

** You know times are tough when Dee Snider is doing…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 25, 2012 at 1:25pm — No Comments

The Aftermath of the Sleepover

My kids are getting to that dreaded age where every flippin' weekend they beg for a sleepover.  As soon as school gets out on Friday, they start hittin' me up for a party in their pj's.  And I don't know about you, but I am not a big fan of the sleepover, mainly because it ends up biting ME in the ass the next day.

Now my son is not really the issue, since he…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 23, 2012 at 3:39pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** The self-checkout lanes at the grocery store are no place for morons.

** Wednesday evening was evidently "Be An Asshole" night at my house.  (I didn't get the memo.)

** It's impossible NOT to smile when you see a dog hanging out a car window, beard blowing in the breeze.

** My son claims to "love being…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 18, 2012 at 11:39am — No Comments

Goatdog and the Stolen Cheerios

The mystery of how I can wanna squeeze and hug our beastly goof of a dog one minute and then release him to a pack of hungry grizzlies the next continues to baffle me.  Yes, Goatdog is doing his damnedest to make sure that our love-hate relationship doesn't die out too quickly.  Sometimes he's my big, furry buddy, and then other times, he's a prickly thorn in my side…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 17, 2012 at 3:19pm — No Comments

Apparently Mama Knows Best

After celebrating Mother's Day this past weekend, I'm not afraid to toot my own horn and say that my kids are huge fans of their mama.  In fact, my poor husband is often shoved to the side when it comes to which parent they prefer.  And as hunky dory as this all may sound in theory, it isn't always sunshine and roses.

For example, I could be all the way…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 15, 2012 at 11:02am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** I like electricity.

** Mondays are like a zit on your chin that won't go away.

** Politics are so freaking political.

** My kids could be drawing on their walls with Sharpies at bedtime, but as long as they stay in their rooms, I really wouldn't care.

** Nothing makes you prouder than your son yelling from the…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 11, 2012 at 11:50am — No Comments

Third Grade Math Can Kiss My 3.14hole

If you follow me on Twitter, you've probably been subjected to my bitching about third grade math from time to time.  Call me crazy, but I'm just not a big fan of assignments that make make me feel dumber than my nine-year-old children.  Cause right now, my kids think I know everything, and this math crap is totally starting to blow my cover!!!

Take,…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 9, 2012 at 11:09am — No Comments

Day 2: Stella & Dot Mother's Day VIRTUAL Trunk Show

Well, here we are on Day 2 of my Mother's Day Stella & Dot Virtual Trunk Show!  If you didn't shop your little heart out yesterday, remember that the party will continue through this Sunday, May 6.  You still have a chance to get your holiday shopping done AND be entered into the "Mystery Hostess Drawing".  You know you wanna be that lucky winner who gets up to $250 or more in free jewelry!

Perhaps you might also be interested in this kick-ass Campari…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 4, 2012 at 12:01pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** Bras and humidity go together about as well as politicians and honesty.

** 7:30 AM is way too early for drama.

** It wouldn't surprise me in the least if my kids' heads spun around while they spit green pea soup at me.

** Spring baseball in Chicago can suck it.

** My imaginary housekeeper seems to have gone…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 4, 2012 at 10:45am — No Comments

Time To Get Our Prayer On

There have been countless times during my parenting experience where I think we should really make religion more of a focus in our family.  Now, don't get me wrong -- I, by no means, am a Bible beater; nor is my husband.  However, little inquiring minds wanna know just who this "God" dude actually is and why so many people are always talking about him.

And…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 2, 2012 at 9:40pm — No Comments

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