** Girls and drama go together like humidity and swass.
** Try as I may, I just don't have the moves like Jagger.
** It's best to look at the toilet seat before sitting down, at least in my house anyway.
** Clearly, my kids wait till I've just changed their sheets to pee the bed.
** Drinking cheap wine after having…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 29, 2012 at 2:05pm — No Comments
This past weekend, some girlfriends and I had organized a fun night out in downtown Chicago. No husbands, no kids, just us girls kickin' it in the city. Unfortunately, though, our whole night was planned around a godforsaken musical that we'd bought tickets to see on LivingSocial. It was called, "Girls Night: The Musical" and promised to be a super fun mix of…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 28, 2012 at 12:34am — No Comments
** Octomom doing porn is the same as an old man doing naked jumping jacks — NOBODYwants to see that shit!!!!!
** Hearing your kids tell you that you’re beautiful is one of the greatest perks of parenting.
** Morgan Freeman…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 22, 2012 at 2:41pm — No Comments
So I got that old familiar pit in the bottom of my motherly stomach again yesterday. It happened when I dropped my son off for his first day of Sports Camp. Yes, it's that same ol' dreaded feeling I seem to get whenever I leave my timid little guy in a strange new environment. You see, unlike his mama, he's quite the shy type, and it takes every bit of my willpower not to play the…
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 19, 2012 at 8:47pm — No Comments
** A successful night is when the Tooth Fairy remembers to do her duty AND even has change for a twenty! Holla!
** Nine year olds evidently need to be reminded not to stick jelly beans up their noses.
** It's amazing how a closed bathroom door means nothing to my kids until they're the ones behind it.
** I like road trips…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 15, 2012 at 11:28am — No Comments
As I've said before, I'm convinced that motherhood kills your brain cells. It's certainly done a number on my memory cause I can't seem to get anybody's name straight in my household. I don't know how the hell that Duggar family does it when I can't even keep track of the four of us!
Back when I was a teacher, I was…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 13, 2012 at 10:55am — No Comments
** Just so we're clear, I will still drink the wine if a fruit fly lands in my glass.
** The end of the school year is when all the crap that's been shoved into a tiny desk for nine months suddenly makes its way into your kitchen (or your trash).
** My son thinks I grew up in the early 1900's. Awesome.
** When you don't have…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 8, 2012 at 10:58am — No Comments
If you have a kid in any kind of organized sport, then you've most likely witnessed some pretty awful sportsmanship at one time or another. It's bad enough when it's another kid displaying the rotten behavior, but when it's an adult? Well, that's just the lowest of the low. And this past weekend I had the misfortune of observing THE most jack asinine…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 6, 2012 at 5:23pm — No Comments
** If I had a dollar for every item on my to-do list, I could pay someone to do all the items on my to-do list.
** I'd like to punch my 40-year-old hormones in the face.
** Bringing a bag of Starburst into this house is like tossing a chicken into a lion's den.
** The penis enlargement emails I keep getting are totally helpful for…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 1, 2012 at 12:02pm — No Comments