Jennifer Marshall's Blog – December 2012 Archive (7)

Things I've Learned This Week

** Santa needs to be A LOT more organized next year.

** I may never see my son again now that Wii U is hooked up in the basement.

** Goatdog REALLY likes to open presents.  Especially ones that don't belong to him.

** When it snows, everyone seems to have forgotten how to drive.

** Teepeeing the inside of your house…


Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 28, 2012 at 5:39pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** Those sneaky Mayans were totally effing with us all along.  I knew it!!!!

** December is one giant money suck.

** Our Elf on the Shelf would be a lot more welcome here if he wrapped presents and actually did "elf" shit.

** Taking a shower lately is definitely a luxury.

** Living next to a house being torn…


Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 21, 2012 at 11:20am — No Comments

Coping With Sandy Hook


Like every other parent in America, I sent my kids off to school yesterday morning with a giant lump in my throat.  The horrific events of Friday's mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School were at the forefront of my mind as I hugged each of my twins as tightly as I could.  A small part of me even wished they were sick so they could stay safe at home with me.  However,…


Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 18, 2012 at 8:00pm — 1 Comment

Things I've Learned This Week

** All I want for Christmas is a personal chef.  And a bigger bank account to pay for the personal chef.

** Those inflatable lawn Santas look so sad and hungover during the daytime.

** A sick kid at home makes for an incredibly unproductive week.

** I've eaten so many damn holiday cookies that you should probably start calling me…


Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 15, 2012 at 4:00pm — No Comments

Happy Holidays, A-holes!!!

Ah, it's the holiday season -- that magical time of the year when you wanna sip hot cocoa by the fire and shove people outta the way for a deal on a flat-screened t.v.  Cause let's be real, y'all.  December tends to turn the very best of us into giant assholes.

Every year I tell myself I'm not gonna get swept up into all the hoopla of running here, there and…


Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 13, 2012 at 11:52am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

** 'Tis the season to be an asshole.  Apparently.

** I am not the Energizer Bunny.

** The Elf on the Shelf might very well be my nemesis.

** Anything that's lost is very likely at the bottom of my son's backpack.

** I should really write a country song cause I've got the homework blues.

** Leaving your…


Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 8, 2012 at 2:04pm — No Comments

Tooth Fairy Fail

If I could take myself into a dark alley and kick my own ass, I totally would cause I seriously dropped the parenting ball the other night (once again).  Yes, I completely failed my duty as the Tooth Fairy, y'all.  Now I know that plenty of people have said that they, too, have forgotten a tooth here and there, but I swore that I would never…


Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 5, 2012 at 3:00pm — No Comments



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