Jennifer Marshall's Blog (290)

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The end-of-the-school-year craziness must surely subtract five years off a mom's life.



** I am sooooooooo done with the packing of the lunches.



**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on June 6, 2014 at 7:34pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Onions are NOT my friend.



** Every time I see a Smart Car, I can't help but giggle.



** Being in three different places at one…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 30, 2014 at 4:40pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** If you take up two parking spaces, you shouldn't be surprised when you're door-dinged.



** Putting my husband in charge of homework supervision is like putting my kids in charge of homework supervision.…



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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 23, 2014 at 4:27pm — 1 Comment

When to Fold 'Em

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Ever have one of those days where every-freaking-thing seems to go wrong?  And no matter what you try to do, it all just turns to crap?  (If you haven't, then it's safe to say that I kinda hate you, but I digress....)  Well, yesterday was one of THOSE kind of days, where if I would have looked up, I…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 21, 2014 at 10:22am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** EVERY day should be Mother's Day.  Because obviously.



** Donald Sterling makes me feel a whole lot better about the…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 16, 2014 at 1:31pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** I constantly feel like I'm forgetting to do something.



** And most likely, I am.



** In my next life, I'm coming back as a…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 9, 2014 at 1:08pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The world needs more creative photobombers.



** If you drive like Mario Andretti through a parking lot full of kids, you're a giant jackass.



** Winter is…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 2, 2014 at 10:14am — No Comments

Wedding Crasher Fail



Ever since I saw the crazy fun that Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson had crashing all those weddings on the big screen, I've been dying to try it.  And this past weekend, I finally got my long-awaited chance!  However, I…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on May 1, 2014 at 10:11am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Goatdog likes wine, which makes total sense since he is my dog.



** If it's not written down, it's not getting done.…



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Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 18, 2014 at 10:22am — No Comments

Happy Birthday to Me

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Cue the red carpet, marching band, and fireworks, y'all, cause today is my birthday! Yippee!  But let's be real here, people -- I'm a mom, and we all know what that means. I'll be schlepping screaming kids from Point A to Point B, scrubbing skid marks out of little undies, and turning to my friend Google to help…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 16, 2014 at 10:32am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Jet lag is not really the vacation souvenir I had in mind.



** Even the eyes in the back of my head have bags underneath them.



** Just…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 11, 2014 at 10:21am — No Comments

They Don't Call It the Red Eye for Nothin'

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If your husband tries to talk you into flying the red-eye with your kids at the end of a family vacation, don't fall for it.  He may try to reassure you that your kids will sleep on the plane, and all will be fine.  But trust me, it will be anything but fine.  And the only person who will be sleeping on the plane will be your…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 10, 2014 at 1:17pm — No Comments

The Grocery Store: Gathering Place for Jackholes

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Going to the grocery store is definitely not my idea of a good time.  Sure it's nice when your kids are FINALLY old enough that you don't have to drag them with you every time you need to run out for a loaf of bread.  A few minutes of alone time can do wonders for the sanity.  However, a quick trip to the store can very…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 26, 2014 at 2:01pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Winter is officially "over" -- and I'll believe it when I see it.



** The Tooth Fairy's gonna have to start leaving IOU's if my twins don't go to bed earlier at night.…



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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 21, 2014 at 10:14am — No Comments

Goatdog and the Pizza Man Incident

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Most of you know by now that our Goatdog is one crazy son of a bitch (literally -- cause, you know, he's a DOG).  He's body-slammed himself through a glass door, eaten my kitchen chairs, and taken a giant dump right in the middle of a dinner party.  And he absolutely loses his mind if a strange man is on our…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 20, 2014 at 10:17am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Parting your hair on the opposite side feels like wearing your shoes on the opposite feet.



** Siri evidently hates me.



** When your boy/girl twins share a bathroom, your…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 14, 2014 at 1:58pm — No Comments

The Perks of Being a Mom

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It's no secret that parenting is hands-down one of THE hardest jobs on the planet.  There are days when you love it and days when you want to turn in your notice and walk right out the door.  The pay is…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 13, 2014 at 10:01am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** I'm not good at getting lucky.



** Child labor is more expensive than it used to be.



** A little piece of me dies every time people "REPLY…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 7, 2014 at 4:36pm — No Comments

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

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I honestly don't know where the time has gone, but apparently, I blinked, and my kids are old enough to have the "sex talk" in school.  I know -- crazy, right??!!!!  Yep, the wonder of the ol' reproductive system has currently been the hot topic of fifth grade…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 6, 2014 at 10:03am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The noise in my house is often so LOUD that I could walk out and nobody would even notice.

** It would be AWESOME to still get care packages every now and then like we did in college.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 28, 2014 at 1:30pm — No Comments

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