Jennifer Marshall's Blog (288)

Something's Gotta Give

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As a parent, we're often so used to running on autopilot that we rarely ever even stop to think about why we're doing something.  We just continue to do it mindlessly, day after day after day.  Take, for instance, the gazillion and one loads of never-ending laundry and the gazillion and one loads of multiplying…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 19, 2014 at 10:29am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** If I held my breath for a big Valentine's Day surprise, I'd surely end up dead.

** A pre-shower naked dance is evidently becoming a nightly ritual around here.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 14, 2014 at 10:16am — No Comments

Google Is My Copilot

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Remember that show, "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"  Well, it turns out, I'm apparently not.  You see, I happen to live with two of them, and I'm reminded of that fact nearly every friggin' night when I try to help them with their homework -- I swear we never learned ANY of this stuff until high…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 12, 2014 at 2:38pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Snowblowers are the roosters of my neighborhood.

** Joe…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 7, 2014 at 8:07pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Whoever sent the Polar Vortex an invitation to return is in need of a good ass kicking.

** If I wanted to live in Antarctica, I would've moved to Antarctica.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 31, 2014 at 1:38pm — No Comments

Suck It, Mother Nature

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I'd always thought that Mother Nature and I kind of had a connection -- you know with the whole "mother" thing and all.  But I'm really starting to think that she's falsely assumed her title because no mama in her right mind would make it so damn cold outside that kids are off school and trapped indoors for days on…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 29, 2014 at 10:20am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** If I looked like David Beckham, I'd be naked ALL the time.

** I'm a firm Belieber that Justin needs a big ol' time…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 24, 2014 at 10:21am — No Comments

Adults Behaving Badly

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Unfortunately, we hear on the news all the time about parents full-out losing their shit on the sidelines of their kids' sporting events.  A bad call can somehow turn supposed "adults" into the biggest meatheads on the planet.  It's both despicable and embarrassing. And I thought I'd seen some pretty horrific behavior…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 23, 2014 at 10:50am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Supervising a chain gang would be more enjoyable than supervising homework.

** The world needs a whole lot more Tina Fey & Amy Poehler.

** My…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 17, 2014 at 10:49pm — 1 Comment

Appreciating the Aha

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I've always believed that everything happens for a reason.  And though we often don't ever know the reason, sometimes, we get lucky enough to find out just why things happen the way that they do.  I LOVE those little "aha" moments.  They help to restore my faith and to reassure me that something greater IS actually in…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 15, 2014 at 1:11pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Cancer is a giant, life-stealing asshole.

**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 10, 2014 at 5:19pm — No Comments

A Polar Vortex Punch of Reality

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Coming back from a family vacation is never a fun thing.  The packing, the travel, the crabby kids -- they all add up to one giant pain in the ass.  It pretty much makes you forget that you were even on vacation at all.  But this recent sucker punch back to reality after our New Year's trip to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 9, 2014 at 11:30am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Next year, I really need some elves, dammit.

** My twins now have nicer phones than I do.  Thanks, Santa.

** Candlelight church services with kids make…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 27, 2013 at 12:21pm — No Comments

'Twas the Nucking Futty Night Before Christmas

Some of you may remember this post from a few years ago, and some of you may be reading it for the first time.  Whatever the case, it was my own nucking futty spin on the classic tale of "The Night Before Christmas".  If your holidays are anything like mine, you'll appreciate the recounting of a Christmas Eve that's not exactly what you might call picture-perfect.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 24, 2013 at 11:16am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Whoever declared the recorder a "musical" instrument was obviously deaf.

** The UPS man has left more on my porch lately than the squirrels have.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 20, 2013 at 8:00pm — No Comments

Texting with the Shorties

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As a parent, technology is often my worst enemy.  Not only does it turn my son into a zombified video game addict half the time, but it also gives me gray hairs worrying about the prospect of someone sending a damn naked picture to one of my middle schoolers.  (*Gasp!!!*)  However, I'm starting to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 18, 2013 at 12:12pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The weatherman seems to be telling us all to go back to our warm beds until April.

** It would be AWESOME if I was the octopus my children seem to think I am.

** When you tell your husband to pick up "holiday-ish" paper plates at the grocery store, you evidently need to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 13, 2013 at 12:56pm — No Comments

HOLY Berries!!!

I originally posted this a few years ago, but it's definitely one that I like to pull out of the vault again at holiday time.  Cause it's about liquor.  And who DOESN'T need a cup of cheerful something or other at this time of the year??!!

You know it's gonna be a good day when you're strolling through the wine aisle at the grocery store on a random…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 11, 2013 at 5:00pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Trying to get my kids to organize their rooms is like trying to get a dog to scoop his own poop.

** I wish somebody would jump to make me dinner whenever I say I'm hungry.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 6, 2013 at 12:16pm — No Comments

'Tis the Season for Gazillion Dollar Wish Lists

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Remember the good old days when your kids would be perfectly happy with the giant cardboard box their gifts came in?  Give 'em some markers, and they were entertained for…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 5, 2013 at 6:00pm — No Comments

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