Jennifer Marshall's Blog (277)

A Polar Vortex Punch of Reality

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Coming back from a family vacation is never a fun thing.  The packing, the travel, the crabby kids -- they all add up to one giant pain in the ass.  It pretty much makes you forget that you were even on vacation at all.  But this recent sucker punch back to reality after our New Year's trip to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 9, 2014 at 11:30am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Next year, I really need some elves, dammit.

** My twins now have nicer phones than I do.  Thanks, Santa.

** Candlelight church services with kids make…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 27, 2013 at 12:21pm — No Comments

'Twas the Nucking Futty Night Before Christmas

Some of you may remember this post from a few years ago, and some of you may be reading it for the first time.  Whatever the case, it was my own nucking futty spin on the classic tale of "The Night Before Christmas".  If your holidays are anything like mine, you'll appreciate the recounting of a Christmas Eve that's not exactly what you might call picture-perfect.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 24, 2013 at 11:16am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Whoever declared the recorder a "musical" instrument was obviously deaf.

** The UPS man has left more on my porch lately than the squirrels have.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 20, 2013 at 8:00pm — No Comments

Texting with the Shorties

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As a parent, technology is often my worst enemy.  Not only does it turn my son into a zombified video game addict half the time, but it also gives me gray hairs worrying about the prospect of someone sending a damn naked picture to one of my middle schoolers.  (*Gasp!!!*)  However, I'm starting to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 18, 2013 at 12:12pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The weatherman seems to be telling us all to go back to our warm beds until April.

** It would be AWESOME if I was the octopus my children seem to think I am.

** When you tell your husband to pick up "holiday-ish" paper plates at the grocery store, you evidently need to…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 13, 2013 at 12:56pm — No Comments

HOLY Berries!!!

I originally posted this a few years ago, but it's definitely one that I like to pull out of the vault again at holiday time.  Cause it's about liquor.  And who DOESN'T need a cup of cheerful something or other at this time of the year??!!

You know it's gonna be a good day when you're strolling through the wine aisle at the grocery store on a random…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 11, 2013 at 5:00pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Trying to get my kids to organize their rooms is like trying to get a dog to scoop his own poop.

** I wish somebody would jump to make me dinner whenever I say I'm hungry.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 6, 2013 at 12:16pm — No Comments

'Tis the Season for Gazillion Dollar Wish Lists

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Remember the good old days when your kids would be perfectly happy with the giant cardboard box their gifts came in?  Give 'em some markers, and they were entertained for…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 5, 2013 at 6:00pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** It's not a road trip in our family unless it ends with a souvenir bag of puke.

** Thanksgiving without a nap is like Christmas without a Santa.

** You never…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 29, 2013 at 11:33am — No Comments

Rock, Paper, Scissor Parenting

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Ok, yeah, I'll admit that my husband and I may have rock, paper, scissored our way through some of more undesirable aspects of parenting our twins.  (I'm pretty sure we're not the only ones who do this either.)  Because, sometimes, it just doesn't really make sense for BOTH of us to jump into a crappy situation.  For…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 27, 2013 at 10:44am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** The mayor of Toronto is a walking Saturday Night Live skit.

 …

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 22, 2013 at 5:33pm — 1 Comment

Trying to Keep My "Cool"

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I swear it wasn't that long ago that my kids wanted to do EVERYTHING with me.  But lately, I'm starting to realize that maybe I'm not quite as cool as I once thought I was.  (*What the hell?!!*)  Fifth grade is bringing on a whole new desire for independence, and friends are…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 20, 2013 at 10:58am — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** It's super fun when my twins come out of their rooms after 30 seconds and claim they can't go to sleep.

** Christmas is only six weeks away -- holy crapola!…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 15, 2013 at 12:52pm — No Comments

The Boy Vs. Girl Battle

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It's hard to believe that just a few short years ago, we were still able to give my twins a bath together -- boy parts, girl parts, all in the same tub. Sure, there may have been some occasional finger pointing, but they were able to peacefully sit side by side for the most part.  Man, have times changed!  It's becoming more and more…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 13, 2013 at 4:45pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Homework is making me wanna stick my head in the oven.  On convection.

** My children are certainly not winning any awards for getting ready for bed quickly.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 8, 2013 at 2:56pm — No Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** I may or may not know something about the lack of Kit Kat's in our Halloween candy stash.

** Costumes should really be a part of every day.

**…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on November 1, 2013 at 10:53am — 3 Comments

Busted!

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Until you become an adult, you never really understand that your parents really WERE looking out for your best interests when you were a kid.  As much as you thought they were unfair and totally out to ruin your life, they really did kinda know what they were doing (most of the time anyway).…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 30, 2013 at 10:17am — 2 Comments

Things I've Learned This Week

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** Complete strangers REALLY like to tell me the whole story of their lives, regardless of how horrifically TMI it might be.

** The "Mind Blowing Science Kit" is clearly an outside toy.…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 25, 2013 at 4:23pm — 1 Comment

The Murder & Resurrection of Raggedy Ann

I love to pass down to my daughter things that I used to have when I was a little girl. It's like I'm sharing a tiny piece of my history with her.  For example, she has my old baby ring that she wears on a necklace, as well as some of my old baby clothes that she uses to dress up her stuffed animals.  And recently, she hit the ultimate jackpot when my mom came across my old Raggedy Ann doll up in the attic.  She was so excited to have…

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Added by Jennifer Marshall on October 23, 2013 at 4:25pm — No Comments

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