** Family trips are flat-out EXHAUSTING.
** It takes 11 years to unpack 11 days worth of luggage.
** Reality's a bitch, especially when it sucker punches…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on April 5, 2013 at 1:00pm — No Comments
** Shamrock Shakes are 600+ calories of awesomeness.
** "Quiet" is most definitely NOT a word I'd use to describe my house.
** My son has apparently given up sleep for Lent. Lucky me.
** Sometimes when people say they don't need help, it's cause they're too overwhelmed to see that they do.
** Kids' ear…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 23, 2013 at 10:26am — No Comments
** Daylight Savings is clearly one of Satan's brilliant ideas.
** Me sitting on the toilet is evidently an open invitation for a party in the bathroom.
** The white crusty stuff around the top of the milk carton is seriously nasty.
** A bouquet of balloons always sounds like a good idea until you try to get them into the…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 15, 2013 at 6:29pm — No Comments
** I most certainly did NOT inherit my mom's hair-braiding skills.
** Apparently, Gap Kids sells husky-sized skinny jeans. Anybody else confused?
** Winter can kiss…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 8, 2013 at 9:00pm — No Comments
** Shoveling snow by hand should be followed by a massage. And possibly a lobotomy.
** The past several days have been like tantric sex. Minus the sex part.Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on March 1, 2013 at 5:30pm — No Comments
EVERYBODY NEEDS A CO-PILOT.Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 28, 2013 at 2:32pm — No Comments
In my family, we are serious, music-loving fools. Now, granted, none of us can actually play an instrument (well, not yet anyway!), but we sure as heck appreciate people who can. Yep, we dig it so much that it's generally playing in our house in some form or fashion 24/7.…Continue
** Living next door to construction is like having an earthquake as your neighbor.
** I don't know who's more excited when there's no homework -- the kids or me.
** Danica Patrick "pole position" jokes are plentiful when my husband's around.
** I'm not sure whether to feel flattered or offended that everybody seems to…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 22, 2013 at 10:21am — No Comments
Isn't it incredible how both dogs and kids have an innate ability to sense whenever something's wrong? You don't even have to tell them there's a problem, yet, somehow, they know that there is, in fact, a problem. I, for one, have been extremely appreciative of that innocent intuition as of…Continue
I apologize for being MIA on here lately, but unfortunately, my father had a bad stroke and was hospitalized. It's been pretty horrific to say the least, but rest assured, I HAVE been keeping a mental list of wacky things I've learned. And here they are:
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 15, 2013 at 10:36am — No Comments
** If it's not written down, it most definitely WILL be forgotten.
** Every day should be Pajama Day.
** Apparently no Super Bowl ads are gonna be new when the Super Bowl actually airs. WTF?!
** Contrary to popular opinion, stupid is not sexy.
** The ass crack of dawn is something I don't very much care to…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on February 1, 2013 at 3:04pm — No Comments
** Judging from Beyonce, Manti T'eo, and Lance Armstrong, fake things apparently happen in threes.
** The media sure knows how to beat a news story to death.
** My ass is eternally grateful for the genius who invented seat heaters.
** Women supposedly look their ugliest at 3:30 PM on Wednesdays.
** The people who…Continue
You know how you had that one toy in your bedroom as a kid that kinda creeped you out once your parents turned out the lights and tucked you in for the night? Mine was a clown who I swear glared at me from his perch high up on my bookcase. (Special thanks to Poltergeist for that little childhood fear.) But now that I'm an adult (allegedly anyway), my daughter has…Continue
** The lighting in fitting rooms is nothing short of cruel.
** My toes are sooooo ready for flip flops.
** A clean car is pretty awesome (even if only for five short minutes).
** I probably owe the car wash an apology note.
** The appetites of my children dramatically increase the moment school lets…Continue
** Projectile t.v. = yes! Projectile vomit = not so much.
** I'd pretty much give my left arm for a nap.…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 11, 2013 at 3:36pm — No Comments
** Much to my surprise, the New Year's Day puker turned out to be neither my husband nor me, but rather, my daughter.
** There's just never enough sleep to go around.
** An overnight getaway would be cheaper than taking three kids to the movies.
** My son's decided to Gangnam Style his way throughout the day, all day, every…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on January 4, 2013 at 5:17pm — No Comments
** Santa needs to be A LOT more organized next year.
** I may never see my son again now that Wii U is hooked up in the basement.
** Goatdog REALLY likes to open presents. Especially ones that don't belong to him.
** When it snows, everyone seems to have forgotten how to drive.
** Teepeeing the inside of your house…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 28, 2012 at 5:39pm — No Comments
** Those sneaky Mayans were totally effing with us all along. I knew it!!!!
** December is one giant money suck.
** Our Elf on the Shelf would be a lot more welcome here if he wrapped presents and actually did "elf" shit.
** Taking a shower lately is definitely a luxury.
** Living next to a house being torn…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 21, 2012 at 11:20am — No Comments
Like every other parent in America, I sent my kids off to school yesterday morning with a giant lump in my throat. The horrific events of Friday's mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School were at the forefront of my mind as I hugged each of my twins as tightly as I could. A small part of me even wished they were sick so they could stay safe at home with me. However,…Continue
** All I want for Christmas is a personal chef. And a bigger bank account to pay for the personal chef.
** Those inflatable lawn Santas look so sad and hungover during the daytime.
** A sick kid at home makes for an incredibly unproductive week.
** I've eaten so many damn holiday cookies that you should probably start calling me…Continue
Added by Jennifer Marshall on December 15, 2012 at 4:00pm — No Comments