Amanda's Blog (9)

Scabies, Anyone?

Vacations are like a drug of choice for me. The kind of drug that gives you a super “high” in the planning stages of the trip, and then kicks your ass on the downward spiral when you’re called to actually participate in it.



But, I’m addicted, so what’s a girl to do? The high, no matter how nefarious, is still delicious. Plain and simple. Just even thinking about vacation planning right now gives me the beginnings of a heady ruuuush. If I . . . just start . . . to visualize. .… Continue

Added by Amanda on April 7, 2009 at 11:05am — No Comments

Chopping Down a Christmas Tree

Kate, age 3, Will, age1



Parental Flaw #856: Finally having kids, thereby finally getting your chance to live vicariously through them. Then trying to cram the reliving into their first three years without a lick of thought. Average Future Therapy: Forced to attend family events at young ages makes the children lethargic and unresponsive to even the most mundane of outings. Will require ongoing cash bribery. Potential to do this to their offspring: Surely.






It… Continue

Added by Amanda on December 3, 2008 at 12:09pm — No Comments

Toilets & Fences

Kate, age 5, Will, age 3, Sarah, age 1



Parental Flaw #737: Assuming that your children will adapt to the environment around them in some capable way, which they usually do, despite being raise by wolves. Future Therapy Rating: Agoraphobia inevitable, moving to the suburbs likely Potential to have attachment issues: Off the charts



Note: This one is especially for all you unlucky do-it-yourselfers. The brain-addled adults who think they can save a buck by ripping into…
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Added by Amanda on September 15, 2008 at 11:25am — No Comments

Vomit Is King

Parental Flaw #151: Not being able to pull yourself up by your boot straps when the going gets tough, and thereby leaving your children to rot in a pool of their own vomit. Average Therapy Rating: Fear of toilets inevitable Potential to milk it for all it's worth: Of course





There are few things worse than a vomiting child. I'll take long, green boogers strung down to the chin, a hacking cough complete with a phlegm rag, or a nice slice through the palm, all over dealing… Continue

Added by Amanda on September 2, 2008 at 10:07pm — No Comments

It's My Birthday, I Can Cry If I Want To

It's my birthday today. August 18th. I'm only 24, so aging isn't really a factor for me. I had my kids at age 12, so being youthful comes naturally to me. I am so lithe, too. I just sprang out of bed today like I was 7 and proceeded to prance through the day with a sunshiny smile on my face. This getting old stuff is awesome.



All I really want for my birthday is an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen and a $10 gift card to Limited Too.



Too bad in my "dream world" the facade… Continue

Added by Amanda on August 19, 2008 at 11:30am — 1 Comment

Birthday Party for a 12-year-old

How do you make a newly minted 12-year-old happy?



Renting a PG-13 movie and inviting over 12 of her closest friends should do the trick. My daughter was actually so shocked that I would allow a PG-13 movie that on her homemade invites she stated in bold:



"My mom is actually letting us watch a PG-13 movie so you all don't have to be bored watching Barney."



She's so funny I forgot to laugh.



What do you mean you're surprised you could watch a PG-13… Continue

Added by Amanda on August 11, 2008 at 12:06pm — No Comments

Colorado or Bust

Every year after embarking on a long summer journey I utter the very same words: "I will not get into the car with children and drive any farther than Target ever again." Well, I mostly sigh it with my fingers pressed into my eye sockets.



Last year wasn't too bad, we did Madeline Island on Lake Superior and that wasn't terribly far. Madeline has a rockin' beach which feels exactly like the Bahamas but instead of white sand and warm water has brown sand and toe freezing water, but it… Continue

Added by Amanda on July 28, 2008 at 11:40am — No Comments

Who Cooks in the Summer?

Who actually cooks in the summer? Come on, fess up. Who actually pulls out a complicated casserole recipe and goes to town? Around here it's more like glance at the clock around 7:34 pm, pull out a frozen chicken breast, thaw it out under hot tap water, shake some salt at it and throw it on the grill. The sides may include prepackaged applesauce and if we're lucky a piece of toast. And that is a meal with some thought involved, mostly it's been buttered noodles with a side of big, fat… Continue

Added by Amanda on July 7, 2008 at 12:13pm — No Comments

Sex Ed & Summer

It's finally summer. I don't know about the rest of you, but up here in El Norte, summer's here in calendar form only. We are still chugging through cold, windy, rainy days, much akin to a bleak March without the dirty, crusted snow, but knolls of super green grass dotting the yards instead. It's incongruent enough to bring tears to your eyes. Global warming? Sign me up, please. Blowing a warm breeze through Minnesota 365 days a year is worth a few polar bear hides any day.



We buy a… Continue

Added by Amanda on June 16, 2008 at 5:31pm — No Comments

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