Dear newborn Cali,
Welcome to the world! Get ready for one hell of a ride.
Dear 6 month old Cali,
Your parents are going to separate. You will never know your family as
a "normal" family of 4 or have any memories of your parents as a
married couple but its ok. They remain great friends and keep life as
normal as possible.
Dear 7 year old Cali,
A few weeks before your 8th birthday your mom is going to die. She
couldn't fight anymore..breast cancer is a fucking asshole (sorry for
the language but you're almost 8...you can handle it!) You will all too
vivdly remember the day she died as well as her funeral and this sucks.
I am sorry. You're life is going to be very different than the lives of
your friends and I am sorry to tell you it will never get easier.
Luckily, the man you marry has the most amazing mother so if you just
wait you will gain a mother later in life.
Dear 7-8 year old Cali,
Your uncle has died. He passed less than 2 weeks after your mom and
this will forever change your grandmother. She lost 2 kids in 1 month
and it was too much. It will be a long, sad battle for her and there
isn't much you can do other than visit, visit, visit! Spend as much
time with her as possible because if you dont you will regret it
forever..not to mention she's hilarious so have fun!
Dear pre-teen Cali,
You experience(d) a lot before you even become a teen. Any day now your
dad is going to tell you that he is gay. Initially you won't know what
it means because right now this is not very common. You'll be wary of
telling too many people but don't worry, in a few years its much more
accepted and you'll be able to relax--but I hate to tell you, the
worrying about gay-bashing and harassment of your family doesn't ever
subside. Just know that being raised by 2 gay men shapes you into an
In these years you will also go through some stuff that changes you
forever. Talk about it..it helps. If you don't it'll weigh on you
Dear 13 year old Cali,
You have finished Hebrew school and have decided not to continue in
religion. You will tell your family that you don't believe in it and
aren't sure if there is a god. You don't know it now but this is
referred to as being Agnostic (yes, there is a name for it...you aren't
alone.) Thankfully, your family is supportive and understanding but
others may try to convince you that religion is the way to go--stick to
your heart. Not being involved works better for you..but stay open
minded and still go to church with your friends. Its a good learning
Dear 15 year old Cali,
You have fallen in love. You behave like an ass and do stupid shit but
its all life lessons so don't be too hard on yourself. Soon you will
learn that guys will treat you like shit if you let them so DON'T LET
THEM! Its easier said than done, I know, but if you don't let them it
will help you for the rest of your life. Right now you think you have
no reason to be confident or have good self-esteem but you do, so own
Oh, and you'll be meeting a girl named Loryn soon. Try to remember as
much as you can about your budding friendship because you will be best
Dear 16 year old Cali,
You know that guy your dating? I should probably warn you...shit hits
the fan. Yes, it's all a learning experience but try to get out of the
relationship as early as possible. If you wait too long it gets bad-he
gets crazy and you'll forever be looking over your shoulder.
Dear 18 year old Cali,
This summer is going to be the best of your life! You are off to
college soon but you will almost fail out because you.....partake in
too many things that are not FDA approved. Luckily, you meet & fall
in love with a guy who kicks your ass into gear. Take a lot of
pictures, write down lots of memories (yes-use that journal you always
said you would write in but never do) and try to soak it all in
because..are you ready for this? You guys are going to get married!
This will be your favorite picture of you two for a long time!
Dear 21 year old Cali,
-Insert a HUGE
life lesson here-
Dear 23-24 year old Cali,
You recently had to drop out of college because of back surgery (don't
worry, the residual pain won't be this bad forever!) You are probably
trying to figure out your place in the world and feel like you may not
fit anywhere but just wait a little longer and it will come to you.
Congratulations are in order-You're engaged!! ...and the ring is fabulous! ;-)
Dear 24 year old Cali,
SURPRISE!! You're pregnant! You should (and will) move the wedding up.
It will be a beautiful white wedding (yes, there will be a blizzard but
you'll be such a calm bride you won't let it get to you!) I know its
hard because you feel like crap but focus on the details and look
harder for a dress! The right one is out there and you will regret it
if you don't at least try.
OH! and get a better DJ!! If you can't afford it, use an ipod...anything will be better than that asshat of a DJ you pick.
Dear 25 year old Cali,
Bet you didn't know you were such a toughie, huh? You kicked labors ass!!
Dear present day Cali,
You had no idea love like this exsisted. Your baby
gets more perfect each day. Your husband is a pain in your ass but he
is hysterical and you guys are eachothers lobsters. This has been the
best year of your life but just a few suggestions. Stop complaining
about how you look and go to the dr and work out! Make dinner more
often..you are a wife and a mom-step it up woman! Clean your damn
kitchen floor..you've had a note on the counter reminding you to clean
it for over 2 weeks and its still dirty! Most importantly, try not to
put yourself last so often..you work hard too.